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Re: Grief of Self

Posted by Sigismund on May 26, 2008, at 19:20:01

In reply to Grief of Self, posted by okydoky on May 24, 2008, at 23:10:42

Relations in families can become so poisonous.
It's no big deal to hate your kids for a bit; what bugs me is when people act on it and make things so much worse.

You are right: life is so full of terrible waste.

There is not so much I can look back on to derive comfort from except one very important thing....that it appears that I/we have managed to bring up two kids tolerably well, so that they look as if they can cope in the world.

When I was 10 or so I wanted to learn Judo. I got a Teach Yourself Judo book and tried to practice on myself. It seems much clearer now.
(If my kids had said they wanted to do that we would have organised it for them.)
That was a turning point, a path never taken that left behind a healthy impulse. Some parents do not know how to begin to listen.

I gained some comfort from reading TS Eliot, particularly The Wasteland and the Four Quartets, though you might not.
The Four Quartets are all about time and self.
I wouldn't want to repeat it either.
He says somewhere "I was born, and once was enough".
It's strange: such a beautiful world which is, at the same time, a dead loss.

You can spend a long long time in really bad spaces.
I'm tempted to say that abandoning all hope of improvement is a prerequisite for getting out of those spaces, but then I would.

 

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poster:Sigismund thread:830983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20080422/msgs/831270.html