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Hi Dinah

Posted by Kali Munro on October 5, 2004, at 20:56:35

In reply to Re: Hi, remember me? :), posted by Dinah on October 5, 2004, at 19:42:42

Wow, Dinah, your post about your relationship with your therapist was moving, intense, interesting, and compelling -- it clearly describes a relationship that is working for you on a deep level, even if not always on the surface level.

I guess my response to when do you stay and fight for a relationship is precisely what you said in your post about your therapist -- if it feels right on a deep level to do it then do it.

It can be hard to know sometimes what feels right on a deep level and what feels right because it mirrors some unhealthy relationship from your past. On the other hand, even those relationships can be necessary steps in our process.

I think you do what you likely do already to buffer yourself from the pain -- you take breaks from the group/board, you express what is important to you and let go of the rest, you gravitate to the subjects/people/threads that feel right and good to you, you remind yourself that relationships are not always easy but when they feel right and good it's worth it, you let go of expectations, you focus on what you get from the experience when you can, you see and accept the board/group/person as they are and not as you want them to be which doesn't mean you don't express yourself, disagree, challenge, seek answers, etc.

I suspect you already do these things and can get overwhelmed and exhausted by it all; understandably. I recommend doing things that replenish you physically and emotionally (notice I leave out mentally :)-- physical activity, rest, reading, slow walks, nature, meditation, yoga, etc. -- so you have something that comforts you when people/boards are "making you crazy"!

I think you have a lot of integrity, Dinah. You seek connection while being true to yourself. It can be a tough road to walk but one well worth it.

Take care,

Kali



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