Posted by Deneb on July 23, 2012, at 12:15:52
In reply to Re: don't give up!, posted by Caffeinepoet on July 23, 2012, at 9:26:16
Hi Caffeinepoet,
Don't give up. I used to be very unhappy all the time, very unstable with borderline personality and suicidal a lot.
I'm guessing I'm above average in intelligence. I always did well in elementary and high school. I got really good grades. In my last year of high school however I started having serious mental problems.
I got into an honours science program in university but my problems got into the way of me succeeding. My grades were all over the place, A+ in genetics, then suddenly F for environmental science for skipping the final exam. F for second year organic chemistry for skipping the final exam then a retake and an A- in second year organic chemistry.
I got kicked out of my program and had to settle for a 3 year general science degree. It took me nearly 10 years just to get it because I kept dropping class, taking breaks etc.
I used to be big aspirations. When I first saw my pdoc she suggested I aim to go to med school, but I'm just glad I have a degree now.
What am I doing now? I work in a call centre. Am I miserable? No. Strangely I actually like my minimum wage boring job full of pressure to do the impossible all the time.
I've never been more happy in my life. I know I will never marry or have a place of my own or get a really good job, but I'm OK with it.
I feel lucky really, that I'm was not born in a 3rd world country. I think having a regular job is the best thing to have happened to me. I'm making friends at the call centre too.
I just feel lucky to even have a job. Some people don't even have jobs.
So, instead of thinking about what you are missing out on, think of what you do have. I'm very fortunate to live here with a loving family, enough food, a roof over my head and luxuries like my own room.
I think I started feeling happy when I let go of my needing the middle class life, professional career etc and just accepted things.
I find pleasure in the small things now.
Your life is definitely not over. You can be happy again, even without the middle class life.
poster:Deneb
thread:1021965
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120718/msgs/1021997.html