Posted by Caffeinepoet on July 23, 2012, at 9:26:16
In reply to don't give up!, posted by Christ_empowered on July 23, 2012, at 8:46:47
> I know, it sounds cheesy, but...seriously: keep going. I struggle, too. I apparently have a higher than average IQ *now*. For years, I was burned out, stupid, basically the village idiot. Unmedicated psychosis. Even shrinks made fun of me.
>
> Now, I'm 28. No degree. Unemployed for years. Living off disability and very little $$$ from my ever lovin' parents. So frustrating, you know? I remember the intense "poverty of thought," the years wasted, the years being targeted, and now..what?
>
> Ordinarily, from what I've read, the higher your IQ in a psychotic disorder, the higher your risk of suicide. Ouch. No wonder the drugs make you stupid. But, in my case, this is as good as its been in *years*.
>
> Sounds wimpy, but I take comfort in my faith. Not everyone gets a middle class, respectable life. The way the economy is going, even people who worked their way into that are sliding down into the working and lower classes through absolutely no fault of their own. I don't know what to do about your student loans, or how you can find a job where you'll be allowed to flourish and use your skills. I mean, one thing that's always sucked for me when I worked was being treated like crap even when I did the work better than others. Its like seriously? This is how you run a business that's supposed to make money? But that's life, I suppose.
>
> The answers to this situation used to be "go back to school for (hot career here)" or "you can do it!," but let's face it: good ole fashioned American individualism and optimism have to give way to reality at some point. All I can say is to find a reason to live outside how you "benefit society." There are lots of people who are a drain on the system--people on disability like me, old people, prisoners, rich people who refuse to cough up some tax money--who keep on going. Why? Well, I think because human life has intrinsic value. Its not always "what can you do for society?," its "who are you?"
>
> You may never realize your potential. You may never have a job that matches up with your skills, talents, abilities, and education. You may just have to "settle." I think its better to "settle" and find some sort of joy in your life than simply exist either in bitterness or constant, un-ending pursuit of something better.Wow, your story is amazing! Honestly I am so glad that you are better now and your intelligence is obvious.
You are right, it did used to be about studying a hot career but I did that and it hasn't been working.
One thing that is meaningful for me is to use these skills to help others. I'm working on a website for a nonprofit program right now and I'm happy about that.
I think a good solution is "accept the present while (non-bitterly) striving.
poster:Caffeinepoet
thread:1021965
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120718/msgs/1021992.html