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Re: depression. questions on meds, symptoms, psycholog Phillipa

Posted by floatingbridge on October 17, 2010, at 2:13:43

In reply to Re: depression. questions on meds, symptoms, psycholog floatingbridge, posted by Phillipa on October 16, 2010, at 21:49:39

Phillipa, that's really pretty amazing, really. The *bingo* moments you talk about. They really are quite, well, miraculous, don't you think? My pdoc is very interested in those moments, too. Thank you for sharing those details of your life. Cortisone shots--yes, now we know. How frightened I imagine you were. Interesting, too, you found your way to nursing--I mean that you found
something worthwhile to do with your experiences. Someone might say to conquer the demons, but I think to myself more like taming them. Maybe?

Your story brings to mind something about my dad. You know about my mother's lifelong illnesses and self-
absorption, but I don't think/ remember her ever telling me I was the cause. (I just tried to fix her.) That seems so awful, Phillipa. I'm sorry that happened
to you.

My dad would say terrifying things to me--kinda like your mom, but he wasn't physically ill. He was a rage-aholic, given to unpredictable
outbursts--raving, literally, sometimes spittle flying. I just remember when he told me he had just drunk from a Pepsi bottle before he realized it was chipped, and now all we could do was wait and
see if he died. I don't know if he would say things like that to my mother. God
only knows. Funny. When you tell me about your mom, I can feel myself getting p*ssed. Then a few minutes later,
I remember my father. I just feel sort of ill. Not your fault Phillipa, just, I don't know, something to look at in a different light, something to watch.

Take care and (((Hugs)))

Oh. I don't think the pain causes the depression--it makes it worse. Then, there is the depression that makes the pain worse. I'm rethinking things.

MDD currently controlled. C-ptsd and comorbid health concerns. Chronic fatigue.




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