Posted by floatingbridge on October 16, 2010, at 1:12:43
In reply to Re: depression. questions on meds, symptoms, psycholog, posted by morgan miller on October 15, 2010, at 21:20:43
Hi Morgan, I really appreciate your concern for my son. Thank you. I believe he is being affected somehow. He is, after all, a human being, and that's how we are--affected by others.
You may recall I am a firm supporter of therapy. I'm in therapy. My son will be at least observed/engaged by a child therapist soon. My shrink asked me to
wait a bit. Besides not rushing into things, which I tend to do, he wanted to find a very good, non-invasive therapist.I am the daughter of a depressed
mother. I took care of her. That was the only way I could get her attention. So, I fully know the dangers and what can
happen. However, when I feel horror and despair in the moments when I am disconnected from my son and all of life,
those are clearly my feelings--not his. The more I am aware of my enmeshment issues, I become a better parent.If I remember correctly, you are familiar with attachment disorders. I have done
a reasonable amount of layman's reading, and for quite some time found some of it terribley hopeless. The original insights and observations have often been misinterpreted or applied as boogie bears.Kids needs so much. Kids need connection. When I am unable to connect, on top of depressed, I become
severely triggered. Because I hadn't the resiliency I needed, I fear my son will not. However, he is a separate human being. When my thinking is healthier, I do prefer optimism. Besides connection, a child needs optimism, a good feeling
about himself supported by loved ones. If I look at the statistics predictively, well, many of us are going down. However, if I can manage to find a *balance* (was that you Morgan or Sigi?), the statistics give me information. The more
accepting I am of illness, the more I can see my son, discover and dismantle family/generational patterns, make better compensations for my weakness, etc.When Sigi shared his two stories, I didn't
feel he was trivializing mine or anyone's situation. These resiliencies happen despite the odds we know too well. I feel he was offering hope based, in part, on his own experience. No human being alive, (o.k., that is a totalizing and insupportable statement), is neurosis
free. Sometimes the very easiest answer used to be to blame the parents (usually mum) for autism, schizophrenia, personality *disorders*....Maybe that is the way your views lean; I
don't know. I have a great gift in a friend, older than me, from war and postwar Europe. She was raised by a
depressed, single mother. She told me
this one day when I confided my parenting fears. I was really stunned. I consider her one of the strongest, self-actualized people I have ever met. If I had read her story in a book, I could
dismiss it. Not sitting there, knowing her.She's not perfect. Now, if I could disentangle myself from perfection, I'd
suffer much less. (And be a better parent.)
MDD currently controlled. C-ptsd and comorbid health concerns. Chronic fatigue.
poster:floatingbridge
thread:965852
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101009/msgs/965914.html