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Re: Need treatment resistant deppression pro in MA/NH

Posted by Enigma on August 16, 2010, at 18:28:26

In reply to Re: Need treatment resistant deppression pro in MA/NH, posted by emmanuel98 on August 15, 2010, at 19:50:29

> If you can come up with the consult fee, that's it. A one hour consult, after which he contacts your regular p-doc with advise. He is a big advocate of MAOIs and older drugs. I don't know why you want to try selegeline if Ensam didn't work. It's the same drug, taken orally instead of transdermally. Why not parnate?

Parnate not only didn't work, at all, but gave me horrible side effects. I got off it almost immediately.

I think I didn't explain my Emsam experience enough. The dermal transfer technology caused severe skin reactions. I had large square poison ivy looking "raised" rashes all over my legs and wherever I tried Emsam, BUT, it did work as an anti-depressant. I literally ran out of places to put them. Had to go to a dermatologist to get meds to get rid of the rashes.

I HAVE been on Selegeline before. It's poop out period was quick (3-6 months?) but in my notes, I didn't list any side effects, where I normally would. I'm so DONE with Nardil. I'm praying Selegeline will even work!. If not, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Going to check that med that someone mentioned above. I'm so done with my new double chin (if I put my chin down), and all the extra weight I have. I can't STAND IT. My body image is extremely important to me, and I feel and look disgusting. At the club I went to in town (and others), everyone, even the people older than me were ALL in great shape, not to mention the women. I don't feel confident at all approaching a women with this gut now. It did make my upper body bigger, as if I've been lifting weights. My biceps and triceps got bigger, and shoulders, but it could be a fat layer. The sweating, I'm SO done with, for the last few nights I didn't sweat much. Odd. But I keep the room very cold now.

I also need to work out for health reasons, and I can't with this insane sweating and overheating. I also think Selly will put me in a better mood and stop this ridiculous crying over a girl I lost 6 years ago, and crying over not having a woman. It's pathetic. Talk about an obsession.
I also started talking to myself about 1-2 months ago (started around when the crying did). I do it all the time now, 1-3 times a day. I act out various fantasies like I'm reading a book I'm writing aloud, or acting out some situation I would like to happen. Somehow it makes me feel better, I think. I could be losing my mind, I really don't know. Like I said, I have 0 friends besides a couple email pen pals that I "email" (of course). I don't talk to anyone on the phone, and haven't for 6+ months. I have all kinds of fantasies (usually about say, meeting Sarah (my soul-mate I lost) again, and having a made up conversation with her). I should really just write these things down because they could beautiful, creative short stories. My headaches are now at 10 days in a row and counting, with the 9th day only having minor ones. Having one now. Meds don't have too much effect on them.
The hospital is stumped and I can't do anything by lie down. I was pretty upset that Mass General of all places couldn't even offer ANY explanations for the headaches. They the the dull stomach pain is acid, which would be a first for me. I get constipation from Nardil too. So, for the last who knows how many years, I haven't gone to the bathroom normally for more than 2 days in a row. I cycle from constipation to diarrhea. Went to the bathroom 5 times today. Now this gas is affecting me. I can't win. I think it's the stomach med they gave me, but who knows.

So, ya, it's fun being me. I won't be technically even marketable to a women, until I meet an angel with huge heart (yeah, they exist, and are adorable and attractive to me at the same time), and where would I meet this person? In my dreams I guess, then I can have conversations with her when I talk to myself.

LOL, I'm so messed up.

I might get an appt with a shrink this week. Called a bunch of places today. Assuming they even know what Nardil, or Selegeline is.

Gotta go lie down, head is killing me. Looks like another bedtime of 7:30 for me. When I was hypo-manic (mostly), I would go to bed at 4:00 am every night and get up around 9-10. Had to get my "me" time in. Those interests are gone now, sadly. Luckily I was able to clean the pool filter today. I should have done it days ago, but I was bedridden for about 3 days in a row, crying, talking to myself, you know, normal stuff like that. ;)




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