Posted by mellow on April 20, 2010, at 14:00:30
In reply to I've Tried Everything, posted by OneWing on April 20, 2010, at 0:17:20
Welcome to babble, i'm sorry you aren't feeling well. I think most of us have been there at some point. Some of us are still there. This is a wonderful place to get support and gain knowledge.
Have you considered starting from scratch with a new doctor? Have you researched some psychiatrists in your area who maybe also specialize in neurology or pain management?
The right doc is key. Someone who can review you from all the angles and help you experiment with what drugs are going to bring you out of this hole. What your last therapist said is very true. They can't make you stop hating yourself. They can only provide a supportive environment so you can walk through your past traumas and current situation to find some peace. Self hatred isn't a good place to be and for me it was only resolved once i found the right mix of meds and was stable enough to really do some hard work in therapy and realize how flawed my thinking was.
I wish you the best of luck. Please continue to post and let us no how you are doing!
mellow
> Sorry about the length of this.
> A few years ago, I started seeing a therapist for depression, anxiety and social issues. I was soon put on Cymbalta, and the dosage was increased with no effect on my depression. I was then switched to Zoloft, which also had no effect, no matter the dosage. I was then moved to Wellbutrin, and now I'm on Lexapro. Nothing is working or me. I know a pill won't magically help me, but there has been no effect by these pills. I've seen 4 therapists (went to college, switched colleges etc, wasn't purposefully changing therapists), and also have really not stopped hating myself any less than I did. I think I can say that I hate myself more now. I'm not suicidal though, just self-deprecating. I've stopped therapy because of this, and my most recent therapist (when I told her I was stopping) basically explained to me how therapists can't really do anything but listen and provide information, and the change has to come from within. She suggested I start doing something creative. I can't believe I've spent so much money just for this answer.
> So my question is, what now? What can I do? What can I take? I hate being stuck like this, I can't even look in the mirror an not despise everything I see in it.
>
> Little background:
> I have sleep issues (sleeping pills don't work more than 3 days, I easily adjust to them, out of brands) and chronic joint, neck and back pain. I've been on a pharmacy of pills for all this, physical therapy, behavioral therapy, you name it I've tried it. Nothing seems to help me. I think it's possibly somatic, which means I'm screwed anyways in looking for a cure.
poster:mellow
thread:944143
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100416/msgs/944218.html