Posted by flame on April 15, 2006, at 7:09:49
In reply to Re: Husband Giving Up -- response got VERY long » Flame, posted by Racer on April 14, 2006, at 14:20:54
Wow! You really just layed it all out on the line, didn't you??? (Thats a GOOD thing! :-) )
I know all of you folks think that "therapy" would help me "adjust" to my husbands depression. I really think that I had already adjusted to his depression .. UNTIL I realized that he was giving up working. THAT is the issue that I need to adjust to ..but don't think I ever will. I (for whatever reason) cannot accept that. Maybe it is because I *know* I have no control over my husband. And I've accepted that and don't nag him nor get myself upset about his depressive modes. (At least I try very hard!) So, I've accepted THAT part and work very hard to NOT let his depression affect me. But when it comes to the finances .. well, no matter how you swing it, that DOES affect me.
The counseling thing for either my husband or as a couple ..well, I'm very willing to do, but my husband is not. He tells me (I don't believe him) that he believes that counselors/psychologists are all in it just for the money. His real feelings about this ..is that he is scared to death to work with someone on his problems. (He wouldn't verbalize this, but after talking to several of his previous therapists throughout the years, we have all come to that conclusion.)
Kicking him out HAS crossed my mind. But how we would swing THAT. There is not enough money for him to live somewhere else. (Why am I worrying about him?)
Who knows? There (probably) are no real answers to my husbands complicated illness. I appreciate you and so many others great support. Thanks for *listening* to me here. It helps to be able to vent. .. And I have learned a few things, that maybe will help. Anyway, things I can at least ask his dr.