Posted by katalina on August 31, 2004, at 13:05:18
In reply to Re: mind researcher, how is adderall coming along, posted by mindreseacher on August 31, 2004, at 4:09:35
Mindresearcher,
I have been reading and posting occasionally for the past few years. I found Psychobabble when I started Adderall about 2.5 years ago and always check in over here to see what's going on with others and their Adderall experiences.
ANYWAY, I just felt compelled to contribute to this thread. As I stated above, I started Adderall almost 3 years ago now and am frustrated with my "need" for it and the fact that it's not as effective as it used to be. Obviously after this length of time, it's to be expected, but I would give my right pinky at the knuckle to restore my tolerance to it.
I also take 60 mgs. of the XR version upon waking and pop another 20 mgs. of IR at noontime. For me, it's just my coffee substitute now. It's depressing to think about. I also have taken both Effexor and Lexapro in the past with the Adderall, but am now 6 months free of SSRI's, but also use klonopin 1.5/2 mgs. per day (.5 mid day and 1 - 1.5 mgs before bed). I was very happy to get off the SSRI treadmill and find myself functioning without them. I had taken Prozac for years before trying Ritalin and then Adderall.
I tried Ritalin first (w/o the Prozac - BIG mistake). I felt homicidal and miserable. Then I tried a Ritalin a year later with Prozac and experienced obsessive focusing and was able to plow through the basement and organize everything without effort. I felt very intense and focused on Ritalin, but not really "good". I then switched to Adderall after a month and it was like I had been living in a black and white movie my whole life and someone just turned on the color. For the first time in my life I felt "normal" - I could go to the grocery store and not get irritated with the lines or the people and deal with day to day activities that everyone else seems to do without more than a complaint. I used to get so angry with everything - driving, going to the bank drive thru, etc. I always knew it was irrational to feel so impatient, but I couldn't change how I felt no matter how much I cognitively tried to.
I also have an addictive personality, although it's never really escalated to anything of any magnitude. But, I don't think I've ever refused a vicodin (or any opiate for that matter) in my life and I still wouldn't. I guess the fact that I've never had them at my disposal kept me from abusing them. All I know is that I could never understand people complaining about how lousy or sick they feel on painkillers. I feel so normal on opiates, not really high (of course I've never taken 5 pills at once or anything, I'd rather make them last if I have them). I've never tried GHB, although I probably would if someone offered it to me. I'm a 33 year old married mother of two preschoolers, so the environment isn't really conducive to that sort of behavior.
ANYWAY, I'm beginning to wonder if this fragmented post is headed to a point. Oh yes, I think what I wanted to comment on was your interest in increasing your adderall dose because the two thirty mg. doses cover you for 12 hours and you need another 8 hours. Do you only sleep 4 hours a night, or did I misinterpret? I would just be cautious in telling your doc you need coverage for that length of time. Sleep deprivation is the leading cause of amphetamine psychosis, and you certainly don't want your doc to think you're staying up all night every night. BTW, I'm only prescribed 50 mgs. per day (30 XR and 20 IR), but I discontinued taking it for over a month with the hope of restoring its effectiveness. Unfortunately, that didn't really happen, and I chose to "reward" myself with a double dose for a month (not my usual self discipline with my meds - in the almost 3 years of taking it, I've never run out early from doubling up). I've just been in a real funk lately and thought I "deserved" more. Being home all summer with my two bickering children has driven me to the brink of insanity and the Adderall helps my mood most of the time. I know I'm going to regret doubling up next month when I have to return to my normal dosing schedule, but I just choose not to think about it right now. I've been taking a tsp. of Delsym daily and also take a pretty good handful of supplements like taurine and calcium/magnesium l-acetyl-carintine, grapeseed, B-complex and fish oil (although I think the fish oil was causing skin breakouts so I've eliminated it to see if it was the cause). I also take a good multi and Vitamin C with bioflavanoids at night. When I went Adderall free for a month I took Tyrosine instead and although it was no substitute, it at least gave me enough energy to get out of bed in the morning.
I also should note that I took 40 mgs. of dexedrine for a month (instead of Adderall, just to see how I felt) and it didn't provide that energy boost that Adderall does - only the concentration that I also need.
Anyway, sorry for rambling so long, I just wanted to empathize with your dilemma. It's so frustrating to lose something that you searched for your whole life. I'm not looking for that initial zing of euphoria, just that normal even-keeled feeling of being able to deal with life and all it's irritations in stride.
Be good to yourself - Katalina
poster:katalina
thread:382574
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040830/msgs/384780.html