Posted by fluffy on August 8, 2003, at 17:58:11
In reply to Re: It's not to late to medicate!, posted by fluffy on August 8, 2003, at 17:36:13
I re-read your post, and I thought I might just comment on the other issue you brought up. About that 20/20 hindsight--I think I can relate to that feeling of seeing the cycling even at a young age. I can look back now after having a formal diagnosis of BPII and see that my first episode of major depression was when I was 19. I wore the same sweatshirt for 3 months, didn't eat, cried around everyone--I didn't even understand that I was depressed. As for hypomanic--well, I'm not sure. I've always been outgoing and energetic. So it was hard for me to tell what was my hypomanic "up" mode and my "normal" mode. But after having treatment, I can definitely see how last summer I was HYPOMANIC! I had many, many plates spinning at one time, and it was impossible to keep up with my own pace. Eventually, I crashed and burned into the most agitated and anxious depression (i guess a mixed state) that I'd ever had. That's when I begged for treatment. It's also when I was precribed AD's and relapsed into an AWFUL mixed state. I also wondered how I could feel so bad after having felt so energetic and happy. It's the hallmark so to speak of bipolar disorder. It's what makes it so hard for us to understand. You can bet that I was pondering not getting treatment after having been burned by the meds I'd tried before. It's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with--EVER. I felt really betrayed by the whole psychiatry/medication thing, and I honestly thought I was beyond hope.
Don't feel alone in this, Katia. This board is great for giving and getting support.
Take lots of care,
Katy
poster:fluffy
thread:9730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030807/msgs/249415.html