Posted by fluffy on July 27, 2003, at 11:31:06
In reply to Re: Depakote, posted by fluffy on July 26, 2003, at 16:33:15
I totally understand the end of your rope feeling. The good news is: If the antidepressants didn't work on you, then chances are that the mood stabilizers WILL WORK. Unfortunately, psychiatry is still a crude science, involving lots of trial and error. You may hit the nail on the head with Depakote. It may work really well for you. Everyone is different. The other good news is: if Depakote does not work alone, you will probably know within at least a month. With SSRI's you'd have to wait a full 6-8 weeks. You may have to try another drug, and the process can be very daunting. But just know that there is a drug or combo of drugs that WILL WORK! It may take more time, and there may be disappointments.
I didn't believe that anything would work for me. I felt my brain was permanently flawed, and that I couldn't ever be "fixed". I'd been on Lexapro for 6 weeks--went manic, then zoloft+neurontin for another 6 weeks--felt spacey and mixed, then Tegretol--2 more months of low grade depression. And this was after 3 previous months of mixed states and major depression. You can be very sure that I felt that NOTHING would work. After finding a doctor that listened to me and was very informed about bipolar disorder, I found the right drug.
Be very pro-active with your doctor and trust yourself and how you are feeling. I wanted to feel better so badly (when I was in EXACTLY the same boat as you) that I often convinced myself that I was feeling better, and under-reported that I was still depressed. So I suffered through 2-3 months more of low grade depression. If you don't feel it's working, then TELL YOUR DOCTOR!! Be very assertive with him/her. Only you know how you are feeling.
And lastly--take time to care for yourself. Chances are you've been beating yourself up for awhile now. TAKE LOTS AND LOTS OF CARE!