Posted by Rick on February 9, 2002, at 3:28:59
In reply to Re: Thoughts on Provigil/adrafinil » Rick, posted by Ritch on February 9, 2002, at 0:21:21
> Just a quick question. Did you ever have any situational panic attacks with your SP? I am curious because I wonder what differentiation might be useful to predict med responses based on whether situational panic happens or not.
That in fact is why I first sought treatment two and a half years ago (wish I had done so MUCH sooner). My SP was getting worse, and several times I was on the *verge* of full-blown panic. E.g, I went into a room to give a presentation in front of a large group of people. And I was actually feeling pretty relaxed about it. But when I stood up and saw all these people crammed into a too-small room staring at me, waiting for me to speak, it felt like it took 100% of the little bit of energy that was left in me just to open my mouth. (The fact that I felt inferior to the first speaker, a co-worker, didn't help either). I had rehearsed and rehearsed, but I couldn't get myself to say more than a few words at a time, and they were coming out very tremulous and in-slow motion. The feeling started spiraling. I felt I couldn't breathe, and thought, "my God, I have to get out of here." For the first time ever I was just on the verge of blurting out some excuse and running away, but I started to calm down a tad just in time.
There were a few other similar incidents (including one when I was on meds -- the WRONG ones, obviously).
Up until that time I would have pounding heart, sweaty palms, lockjaw, tremulous voice...but not feeling were I felt I had to run away and could never show my face again. Ironically, one of my toughest situations would be standing in line at the post office. I'd always feel as if my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Everything was situational for me, even if not truly panic.
Funny, I could easily strike up a conversation with someone in a check out lane, but I'd have the pounding heart/sweating/voice tremor thing when calling information. Speaking in echo-y rooms or vestibules was also one of my most dreaded events. I still sometimes have a few fleeting moments of difficulty with that one, especially if I'm speaking on a phone and others are walking by. Oh, and of course speaking up at meetings or at lunches was a real challenge, so I usually stayed quiet...not great for a career. One-to-one talk wasn't as bad as being the center
of attention, although I would always avoid parties. I'm still not a huge fan of them, but now they don't scare me, and I actually end up having fun and meeting people.As usual I gave a not-so-quick answer to a quick question. But once I started writing about situational symptoms (which are now 90% improved), I just kept going. Kind of a catharsis
Rick
poster:Rick
thread:93083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020208/msgs/93396.html