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Doing something, at least for me Mags

Posted by IsoM on January 15, 2002, at 0:34:33

In reply to Re: How depressed are YOU? IsoM, posted by Mags on January 14, 2002, at 23:36:43

Actually, I don't ever let it get to that point any more (real bad). If I begin to notice the symptoms even starting a little (not caring whether I'm showered & clean), not wanting to answer the phone, having a bright sunny day & wishing it was raining so I'd have an excuse to crawl back into bed, blah, blah) I spring into action - okay, ooze into action, is more like it.

We all have down days but if it lasts longer than a few days, I get worried. As long as a week & I know I better get working on it before I get bad & don't care. It's weird. When I get real low, I'm too apathetic to do anything. I 'know' in my mind that being depressed isn't normal, but in my 'heart' when I'm depressed, I consider feeling normal & good to be fake & phony. It feels like fluff - cotton candied moods only.

The action I take isn't always much. Sometimes it's just forcing myself out to friends when I don't want to go but they want to see me. Or checking if I've been watching too many bleak newstories or depressing bleak shows. I'll put on perky cheerful music (music makes me dance very easily) or get outside more, even in winter. Doing those things feels so very unnatural at the time, but I force myself to. Especially the music - happy music sounds mindless to me then but after listening to it for a while, it does help. And lots & lots of singing. I feel singing heals my soul.

If small changes like this don't help, I get to my doctor & tell him something needs adjusting. We go over what's working & add and/or subtract meds.

I'm glad to say that adrafinil has made things much better for me. Generally, winters are hell for me & it takes all I can to fight them. I refuse to up my dosage of ADs for winter as tapering off for spring & summer would be hell. This winter, adrafinil has tided me nicely through it so far.

It's like the first tiny bit of scratchy throat or 'punky' tired feeling you might notice before you get a cold. I keep a close eye on warning signals that show my depression to be getting worse.

Sorry for the long post - I really do have verbal diarrhea.

****************************************************************************************************

> > I try to keep an eye on myself because while I have a strong network of friends/family that cares, I reject everybody when I get that low. So as soon as the bleaknees & irritability start, I do something about it.
>
> Iso,
> Thanks for the insight ..I really understand what you are explaining. You said when you get to the point were things are really bad "You do something about it"...If you don't mind me asking, what do you do???
> Thanks!


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poster:IsoM thread:90162
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020110/msgs/90234.html