Posted by bob on January 17, 2002, at 20:27:54
In reply to Re: How depressed are YOU - pretty dang awful!, posted by BarbaraCat on January 17, 2002, at 14:55:50
I could not believe how much your post rang true for me. Your description of your condition is much like mine.
1 - I don't want to drag my family down into my hole. They are compassionate, but I can tell they have trouble dealing with it.
2 - I'm out on disablility now, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back to my demanding job.
3 - Some of the ADs were helping a little, but at an eventual extreme cost to my physical health and ability to function. You are one of the few people I've seen post who mentioned the ADs "ruining" their physical health. It is exactly the same for me.
4 - I too have decided to come off meds. I haven't gotten off yet, but I'm getting close, and some of the days are very difficult. Many of the health issues have resolved themselves. I will most likely crash hard though, mentally.
5 - You said that ultimately all you have to turn to is yourself. I think that unless you have a REALLY understanding and dedicated person in your life, you are in a pretty common situation. I could possibly go live with my parents, but I think they'd be emotionally crushed to see me like this. It usually eventually comes down to just yourself.
6 - I really don't know where to turn in the way of meds anymore. They mess me up so much. I know what you mean by your last statement, "This sucks, it really does."
7 - Please hang in there. Nothing ever stays the same.