Posted by Marie1 on May 20, 2001, at 10:07:45
In reply to Re: Anyone?-Kristi » Marie1, posted by Kristi on May 19, 2001, at 13:02:24
Hi Kristi,
I'm glad my previous post didn't offend you; around here it's not safe to assume anything when responding to people :)!!
In answer to your questions, I *don't think* I've repressed alot of stuff from childhood, but as I posted on the psb board, I am feeling like I never know whats going to come out in therapy these days. I only began seeing a psychiatrist because I developed major depression (I had dysthymia for years), and since pdocs can prescribe, I thought that was the logical choice for help. I really didn't think I needed analysis, but was intrigued by the therapy so I kept going. I do have multiple substance abuse problems (which I never really saw as "problems") and we have been working on that. I very recently "remembered" the sexual abuse, but "remembered" isn't exactly the right word. It's hard to explain, but I *knew* somewhere inside, somehow, that this had happened, but yet was shocked by actually thinking and admitting it. Does that make sense? I'm still grappling with it myself.
I always thought that my depression was purely biological, but now I'm seeing that things that happened to me in my past may have contributed to the biological tendency toward depression. (I think this is called "double" depression). To be honest with you, I'm not sure yet where to go with this newfound revelation, but I guess coming to terms with it is better than not, and at least answers some questions that I had about my sexuality. Whatever you decide to do now about your past, I sincerely wish you the best. If you decide to explore it, know you aren't alone - apparently there are many of us dealing with these things. Keep posting here, maybe we can help each other through this awful process.Marie
p.s. Isn't self deception the best?! :)
poster:Marie1
thread:63506
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010515/msgs/63696.html