Posted by kerry B on June 29, 2000, at 2:59:42
In reply to Euphoria turns into self-destructive urges, posted by Cass on June 28, 2000, at 22:20:58
> I've had two glasses of wine that gave me an incredible sense of well-being, and now that it wears off just a little I feel cutting my wrists. Why does this happen? In general, I am not feeling suicidal right now. When I drink, something comes over me, and I feel much more courageous about doing something self-destructive. However, I've never actually acted on the urge except when I had already planned to do so before I had a drink. I don't drink all that often, but sometimes if someone talks about it I get strongly get the urge. I don't care if I'm considered an alcoholic. I only drink maybe two times a week at the very most. I don't think that's enough to jeopardize my physical health. I just don't like the disturbing self-destructive urges I get. I used to date this man, and we drank a lot together. When we would drive through the canyons back to his house, I would be hoping that the car would go off the road and into the ravine. This is what's on my mind right now, and I just wanted to share it with someone.
Don't worry, if I drink, whereas I don't drink much either, I have those thoughts. Once I acted on it and took an overdose thinking how peaceful I felt and just today, I was in the back shed, saw a huge spider web and thought about putting my finger in there to get bitten and what it would be like. I don't understand why I have these thoughts but they happen and I just let them ride. I tell myself, it is a thought and hold myself back and walk away or distract myself. Maybe you could try that too? Just a thought ha! ha!
poster:kerry B
thread:38643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000619/msgs/38668.html