Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Re: Life on Meds...Approaching 40

Posted by Adam on October 27, 1999, at 0:42:57

In reply to Re: Life on Meds...Approaching 40, posted by Elizabeth on October 26, 1999, at 18:51:54

Hmm. Perhaps I am too hard on myself, and though I have good qualities I'm sure, I wouldn't wish my disorder on my worst enemy,
much less my child.

My grandmother had this. She died and everyone found it difficult to mourn, essentially because she got her wish.
My mother, had she not died of cancer, was on her way to the hospital for mental illness.

I've got it too. Bad. It's controlled, but it took an awful long time and an awful lot of suffering to get to this
point. Perhaps some day treatments will be so much better there won't be so much to worry about. But from where I sit,
the efficacy of drugs (about the only thing that could get me even to the point that therapy was worth the time) hasn't
improved since the 50s. I'm not betting on drastic changes any time soon.

In the mean time, I hope I can find someone who feels a certain amount of voluntary eugenics is appropriate without
feeling self-hatred at the same time. Just a desire not to perpetuate suffering. I think I may adopt if I'm ever
in such a position to be able to. I have that to offer at least: that I can love and want someone who was not
wanted, and have them be my friend until I die.

It is not a stance many share. It has cost me at least one dear relationship, and perhaps two, but it is something
I stand firm on. Call it secular Buddhism. I would rather be an ascetic than to beget such pain as I have known.

> > Adoption is a great option to have. But I'm conceited enough to believe that I have gifts to offer as much as any "curse" to any children I might have.
> Me too. I think in terms of selecting a partner who doesn't also suffer from depression, and possibly getting my little sister to donate an egg (she's keen on the idea, and she doesn't seem to have any depressive tendencies either).
> > I might have a few bad genes, but I think I got some pretty darn good ones as well, and more of them then the bad.
> Yeah. I have bad teeth too. So?




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