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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Alexus on September 4, 2006, at 3:17:28
Sometimes I get this gnawing feeling inside
A kind of jumping aching pain.
I think its supposed to be 'emptiness'.
I don't know whether thats supposed to capture the phenomenology or the cause or the prescription.
I could do with being held though.
Rocked.
But I could do with a screaming temper tantrum too.
But not really.
Because I feel so tired...
'Shhhhhhhhhhh Alexus
Its okay
I'll hold you for as long as you need'
Is the emptiness bottomless?
No.
It passes and I need you to get the hell away.Why does life have to be like this?
What is the answer?
To ignore the feelings?
If you don't let people close
You won't have to push them away
Is that the answer?I don't understand.
I don't know what is wrong
Maybe the wrong lies in the past
Or maybe it does as a matter of definition
And really its about making up stories to meet the definition
Does it help?
Does it harm?
Who is to say?
Nobody knows but people have an invested opinion.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I just want the feeling to go away...
Posted by sleepygirl on September 4, 2006, at 20:29:43
In reply to x, posted by Alexus on September 4, 2006, at 3:17:28
...there's a little bit of holding for you anyway
it's hard to sit with these feelings
I dunno the answer, or the cause, but I'm hoping it eases soon
warmly,
sg
Posted by muffled on September 5, 2006, at 0:51:44
In reply to x, posted by Alexus on September 4, 2006, at 3:17:28
Posted by Alexus on September 5, 2006, at 10:24:05
In reply to ((((((Alexus)))))), posted by sleepygirl on September 4, 2006, at 20:29:43
thank you.
still feeling a bit...
but i went to a seminar today and asked a question.
(typically... i'm too anxious / nervous / afraid to open my mouth at question time)
it came out... okay. okayish. okay. i wasn't as clear as i could have been. but that is okay it is a skill you get better at. my tone wasn't the best. but that is okay it is a skill you get better at. that is what frightens me most - my tone. sometimes people get defensive and come out hostile. i'm scared i'll do the same. but it was okay. and they said i had a good question :-) and one of the people picked up on it afterwards :-) so i know he understood what i was saying and he developed it :-)so that was super dooper nice :-)
(i've been told that if i can't learn to ask questions in seminars then i'm cutting my own throat jobwise because it is HUGELY important. which just stresses me out even more, of course, so i'm too terrified to say anything)but i did it.
((((sleepy))))
thank you
Posted by Alexus on September 5, 2006, at 10:24:38
In reply to Yeah, exactly..... (nm) » Alexus, posted by muffled on September 5, 2006, at 0:51:44
Posted by Alexus on September 5, 2006, at 10:32:00
In reply to x, posted by Alexus on September 4, 2006, at 3:17:28
push and pull
push and pull
oscillation.
is that what it is called?
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
The up and down roller coaster of emotions
The push and pull oscillation of interpersonal relationshipsAnd then people get out of phase.
I think that was the main trouble between me and my mother
The up down
The push pull
The fact that we seemed to spend our whole lives out of phase
But it was more than that worse than that
But I think that was a significant part of it.And now...
The push pull thing
It isn't fair
I think you are supposed to learn to moderate
By not pushing trying to comprimise being tolerant
(But it is oh so hard to need to get away to feel invaded to need to get away and feeling horrified that that feeling of invasion and needing to escape is so intense)
I'm afraid of that.
That I'll get sick of people
That they will care about me
And I'll feel like that
Horrible horrible me :-(
(It has happened before)
Horrible horrible me :-(
(Then I got sick)but what if i meet someone and they come to feel that way about me?
:-(
better not to care
not to hurt them with the push
and sometimes i long to pull them closer
but then what?
(they will just get sick of me and if they don't then i'll get sick of them)
emotions are too much for me yeah
Posted by muffled on September 9, 2006, at 1:42:39
In reply to Re: x, posted by Alexus on September 5, 2006, at 10:32:00
I'm with ya all the way on this post :-(
This is the end of the thread.
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