Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1091319

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Re: ghost story

Posted by Tabitha on August 16, 2016, at 23:49:04

In reply to Re: ghost story » Clearskies, posted by lil jimi on August 16, 2016, at 16:39:07

Jim, I don't see evidence Dr Bob has done anything on the site except keep paying the hosting fees since his last post on Admin around 2014 (I think). There are technical issues with the site that have showed up and not been addressed, which is what typically happens when a site isn't maintained. There have been spammy posts about off-shore pharmacies that haven't been deleted. Bob was still doing that even after he had scaled back his moderating.

From the last threads on Admin, it seemed he was trying to transition into less intervention as a moderator, and more participation as a poster. That didn't last very long, and then he seemed to drift away. I don't think there was any specific announcement that he was planning to quit posting. He just stopped. You can dig into Admin if you want to follow the devolution.

Honestly I think the board is doing really well for an un-moderated space. The few remaining posters are all good citizens. Lou is still here and posting things that many folks find to be off-topic and inflammatory, but he's not posting every day. I only hope that Bob warns us before taking down the site entirely. It would be sad to find it just 404 on us.

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by Clearskies on August 17, 2016, at 2:01:05

In reply to Re: ghost story, posted by Tabitha on August 16, 2016, at 23:49:04

> Jim, I don't see evidence Dr Bob has done anything on the site except keep paying the hosting fees since his last post on Admin around 2014 (I think). There are technical issues with the site that have showed up and not been addressed, which is what typically happens when a site isn't maintained. There have been spammy posts about off-shore pharmacies that haven't been deleted. Bob was still doing that even after he had scaled back his moderating.
>
> From the last threads on Admin, it seemed he was trying to transition into less intervention as a moderator, and more participation as a poster. That didn't last very long, and then he seemed to drift away. I don't think there was any specific announcement that he was planning to quit posting. He just stopped. You can dig into Admin if you want to follow the devolution.
>
> Honestly I think the board is doing really well for an un-moderated space. The few remaining posters are all good citizens. Lou is still here and posting things that many folks find to be off-topic and inflammatory, but he's not posting every day. I only hope that Bob warns us before taking down the site entirely. It would be sad to find it just 404 on us.

I agree. He did answer a tech email I had a few days ago.


 

Re: ghost story » Clearskies

Posted by Tabitha on August 17, 2016, at 14:46:13

In reply to Re: ghost story » Tabitha, posted by Clearskies on August 17, 2016, at 2:01:05

> He did answer a tech email I had a few days ago.

That's good to know. At least he's alive and functioning.

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on August 18, 2016, at 20:43:02

In reply to Re: ghost story » Clearskies, posted by Tabitha on August 17, 2016, at 14:46:13

Hi Clear, Hi Tabitha,
You guys have rung Jim's clock and I am now awake (albeit only for short intervals) in the year 2016 PB:

When Jimi and a few friends left their then silver, shining Metropolis that PB was in 2005, the society of PsychoBabble was so big, so multifaceted that neither their departure nor absence could have been noticed anymore than any big city notices any given dozen or so rabble getting out of town.

Here, once, the multitudes of suffering psychos babbled. And Dr.Bob's oversight reigned supreme.

Flashing forward into 2016: the multitudes are just dozens and it sounds like the Doctor checked out. Positive correlation of independent variables: Bob here; lots of posters: Bob gone; fewer posters. An accepted implication: Dr.Bob's absence contributed to, if not caused the population decline. It would be a necessary but not sufficient condition for the decline. This seems inescapably plain.

Why is the PBabble number of participants so dependent on Dr.Bob's presence?

I like Dr.Bob as much as any Babbler, maybe more than most. I got banned a few times, but never with (his) malice. I mean, he's cool. But I am missing a sense of the casual relation between 'him' and people coming here or not coming here.

I mean Tabitha is right: operationally this is the same place, it runs and functions the same. Only smaller. And without so much Dr.Bob, maybe. Which what makes me wonder why such a difference in population?

Possible variables intervening after Dr.Bob steps back and before mass departures? A king reigns in the fortress giving stability, bringing prosperity; king fades; security weakens; huns ransack; people flee; haunted castle remains OR frontier town springs up with marshall holding the reigns; town grows; commerce, etc; sheriff leaves; outlaws raid, then, ghost town. Other factors came to make things less habitable? Maybe?

To be accurate this metaphor fails because PBabble is not a ghost town nor haunted castle. As thin as it is you could say it's a ghost of its former self, but it is functionally healthy. It even seems vital.

At its foundation, we have to remember PBabble's chosen audience isn't exactly the most stable, if you know what I mean? Maybe they'd spook easy-like?

I'm thinking about the psychic cost, the psychological expense on Dr.Bob to run PBabble. I see the technical effort and it's time and energy as dwindling to insignificance compared to the personal involvement and emotional toll of having the whole of PsychBabble on his mind, and as his responsibility. All the time. Multiply that by people holding him responsible for people's well-being (he is a doctor), mostly when he is not responsible. Add people blaming and/or threatening him.

Can we expect Dr.Bob to shoulder that burden indefinitely? Can he get to have a personal life in the care free way like everybody else And stay hooked up to the whole PsychoBabble? Without him, he has created an incredibly complete resource for psycho pharmacological information and support. The reference section is deep.

I expect self-preservation alone makes one be more (and more) hands off then.

Sounds like it's not too bad to have a smaller PBabble. Easier on Admin anyhow.
I still wonder at the population's ups and downs as only suspiciously connected to Dr.Bob's active board-posting administrative presence.

I'm going to look in the archives.

Take care

 

Re: ghost story » lil jimi

Posted by baseball55 on August 18, 2016, at 21:53:46

In reply to Re: ghost story » Tabitha, posted by lil jimi on August 18, 2016, at 20:43:02

PB was diminishing before Dr. Bob went AWOL and much of the reason, as far as I could tell from the heated discussions on the admin board, was Dr. Bob. I can think of dozens of people who left BECAUSE OF Dr Bob. I must say, I rarely read the admin board, but the discussions spilled over into all the boards. I never understood the anger and hurt and resentment, but I know it drove a lot of people away.

PB is much smaller now and I'm really sorry about the demise of the social and psychology boards. But it is really much more peaceable. Except for the occasional flare-ups about Lou Pilder, there are rarely any conflicts. The old days of people getting blocked and trying to undermine the board by insulting others and starting fights is mostly gone

But PB has become almost exclusively a medication board.

 

Re: ghost story

Posted by Tabitha on August 18, 2016, at 23:23:39

In reply to Re: ghost story » Tabitha, posted by lil jimi on August 18, 2016, at 20:43:02

jim, I think there are reasons for the decline separate from Dr Bob. The site design is pretty old fashioned at this point. I personally like the text-only thing, but the thread navigation could use an update. I suspect lots of people who used to post on single-topic forums like this have moved onto more modern looking forums, to social media, and perhaps reddit. just speculating here.

 

Re: ghost story

Posted by lil jimi on August 19, 2016, at 10:19:38

In reply to Re: ghost story » lil jimi, posted by baseball55 on August 18, 2016, at 21:53:46

I really appreciate your contribution here Baseball.

> PB was diminishing before Dr. Bob went AWOL and much of the reason, as far as I could tell from the heated discussions on the admin board, was Dr. Bob. I can think of dozens of people who left BECAUSE OF Dr Bob. I must say, I rarely read the admin board, but the discussions spilled over into all the boards. I never understood the anger and hurt and resentment, but I know it drove a lot of people away.

I am way too naïve and uninformed. I regret I haven't got to the Admin archive yet. My already blown mind is further blown now. Too my pea-brain? Simply, unimaginable.

> PB is much smaller now and I'm really sorry about the demise of the social and psychology boards. But it is really much more peaceable. . . . there are rarely any conflicts.

Seems idyllic, now. (Ignoring an exception)

>The old days of people getting blocked and trying to undermine the board by insulting others and starting fights is mostly gone.

Here is what I need to read about to process.

> But PB has become almost exclusively a medication board.

Not necessarily a bad thing then.

I am realizing side-effects of my "Glory Daze": The shimmering haze over my recall casts my experiences in a conveniently positive light. Because, I was part of some contention and enmity, and left in a (small) storm, yet I'm so surprised to read this?

I need to read my own tracks in the archives. If only to compare what really happened to my memory's imagination. Then I can compare my past with these later conflicts.

I thank you, Basaeball.

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on August 19, 2016, at 10:41:37

In reply to Re: ghost story, posted by Tabitha on August 18, 2016, at 23:23:39

> jim, I think there are reasons for the decline separate from Dr Bob. The site design is pretty old fashioned at this point. I personally like the text-only thing, but the thread navigation could use an update. I suspect lots of people who used to post on single-topic forums like this have moved onto more modern looking forums, to social media, and perhaps reddit. just speculating here.
>
Tabitha,
Site design is something I fail to consider as well as competition from other sites, forums, media et al. I'm old-fashioned and I feel old trying to keep up with the explosion of these alternatives. Especially in the last decade, Jim. Hello?

At least, I have every alternative theory:
1) Bob was too present, heavy handed; drove people away.
2) Bob checked out, was too distant, gone? therefore people left.
3) Bob or no Bob, times change people left anyhow.

We may reasonably expect all three will be seen to have applied to varying extents at different moments.

Always appreciate your input, Tabitha.

 

Re: ghost story

Posted by Tabitha on August 19, 2016, at 12:46:50

In reply to Re: ghost story, posted by lil jimi on August 19, 2016, at 10:19:38


>
> I need to read my own tracks in the archives. If only to compare what really happened to my memory's imagination. Then I can compare my past with these later conflicts.


Yeah, I recommend that. I trawled through the 2004-ish period when I was posting a ton on the psych board. It was tempting to reply to my past self. It's like a ride on a time machine. Whee!

 

Re: ghost story » lil jimi

Posted by Clearskies on August 20, 2016, at 1:39:15

In reply to Re: ghost story » Tabitha, posted by lil jimi on August 18, 2016, at 20:43:02

> Hi Clear, Hi Tabitha,
> You guys have rung Jim's clock and I am now awake (albeit only for short intervals) in the year 2016 PB:
>
> When Jimi and a few friends left their then silver, shining Metropolis that PB was in 2005, the society of PsychoBabble was so big, so multifaceted that neither their departure nor absence could have been noticed anymore than any big city notices any given dozen or so rabble getting out of town.
>
> Here, once, the multitudes of suffering psychos babbled. And Dr.Bob's oversight reigned supreme.
>
> Flashing forward into 2016: the multitudes are just dozens and it sounds like the Doctor checked out. Positive correlation of independent variables: Bob here; lots of posters: Bob gone; fewer posters. An accepted implication: Dr.Bob's absence contributed to, if not caused the population decline. It would be a necessary but not sufficient condition for the decline. This seems inescapably plain.
>
> Why is the PBabble number of participants so dependent on Dr.Bob's presence?
>
> I like Dr.Bob as much as any Babbler, maybe more than most. I got banned a few times, but never with (his) malice. I mean, he's cool. But I am missing a sense of the casual relation between 'him' and people coming here or not coming here.
>
> I mean Tabitha is right: operationally this is the same place, it runs and functions the same. Only smaller. And without so much Dr.Bob, maybe. Which what makes me wonder why such a difference in population?
>
> Possible variables intervening after Dr.Bob steps back and before mass departures? A king reigns in the fortress giving stability, bringing prosperity; king fades; security weakens; huns ransack; people flee; haunted castle remains OR frontier town springs up with marshall holding the reigns; town grows; commerce, etc; sheriff leaves; outlaws raid, then, ghost town. Other factors came to make things less habitable? Maybe?
>
> To be accurate this metaphor fails because PBabble is not a ghost town nor haunted castle. As thin as it is you could say it's a ghost of its former self, but it is functionally healthy. It even seems vital.
>
> At its foundation, we have to remember PBabble's chosen audience isn't exactly the most stable, if you know what I mean? Maybe they'd spook easy-like?
>
> I'm thinking about the psychic cost, the psychological expense on Dr.Bob to run PBabble. I see the technical effort and it's time and energy as dwindling to insignificance compared to the personal involvement and emotional toll of having the whole of PsychBabble on his mind, and as his responsibility. All the time. Multiply that by people holding him responsible for people's well-being (he is a doctor), mostly when he is not responsible. Add people blaming and/or threatening him.
>
> Can we expect Dr.Bob to shoulder that burden indefinitely? Can he get to have a personal life in the care free way like everybody else And stay hooked up to the whole PsychoBabble? Without him, he has created an incredibly complete resource for psycho pharmacological information and support. The reference section is deep.
>
> I expect self-preservation alone makes one be more (and more) hands off then.
>
> Sounds like it's not too bad to have a smaller PBabble. Easier on Admin anyhow.
> I still wonder at the population's ups and downs as only suspiciously connected to Dr.Bob's active board-posting administrative presence.
>
> I'm going to look in the archives.
>
> Take care

You are on to something here.
CS

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on August 20, 2016, at 2:10:55

In reply to Re: ghost story, posted by Tabitha on August 19, 2016, at 12:46:50

I wrote:
> > I need to read my own tracks in the archives. If only to compare what really happened to my memory's imagination. Then I can compare my past with these later conflicts.

Tabitha writes:
> Yeah, I recommend that. I trawled through the 2004-ish period when I was posting a ton on the psych board. It was tempting to reply to my past self. It's like a ride on a time machine. Whee!

I'm replying:
My impression of the past isn't just fogged up from a warm, fuzzy aura of sweet remembrance, it's seriously delusional. Not even that's things were worse than I remember, (they weren't that much worse, I don't think) it's that whole chunks of my past got vaporized! I'm checking for major head trauma to account for such huge recall deficits. Not just PBabble things neither. Maybe electro-stim damage? Of course, nothing that I could remember.

This will take a while. Reading only a few of my old posts from '03 was gut wrenching. The Time Machine takes me on a Roller Coaster ride in defiance of my inertial frames of reference. Talk about your "nausea of existence", well, at least the 'nausea' part. This is hard on me.

And so far it's just to take a measure of my own past experience. That's before I'm getting into the archives about the great demise here. If my health were perfect it'd be a tall order. As it stands now, I'll have to digest this slowly one small bite at a time.

I feel perfectly clueless now in 2016, memory blanks and all. There's a whole other cluelessness I got going back 2003.

Your encouragement means a lot to me, Tabitha. Then and now. Thanks.

Cheers

 

Re: ghost story

Posted by Tabitha on August 20, 2016, at 12:38:48

In reply to Re: ghost story » Tabitha, posted by lil jimi on August 20, 2016, at 2:10:55


> My impression of the past isn't just fogged up from a warm, fuzzy aura of sweet remembrance, it's seriously delusional. Not even that's things were worse than I remember, (they weren't that much worse, I don't think) it's that whole chunks of my past got vaporized! I'm checking for major head trauma to account for such huge recall deficits. Not just PBabble things neither. Maybe electro-stim damage? Of course, nothing that I could remember.

Oh, man, I'm sorry Jim. I didn't know you were going through that.


>
> This will take a while. Reading only a few of my old posts from '03 was gut wrenching. The Time Machine takes me on a Roller Coaster ride in defiance of my inertial frames of reference. Talk about your "nausea of existence", well, at least the 'nausea' part. This is hard on me.

Yes, I can imagine. The more you know, the more you know you forgot.

>
> And so far it's just to take a measure of my own past experience. That's before I'm getting into the archives about the great demise here. If my health were perfect it'd be a tall order. As it stands now, I'll have to digest this slowly one small bite at a time.

Take it slow, and be kind to yourself, past & current.

 

Re: ghost story » Clearskies

Posted by lil jimi on August 30, 2016, at 14:31:19

In reply to Re: ghost story » lil jimi, posted by Clearskies on August 20, 2016, at 1:39:15

> You are on to something here.
> CS

Perhaps, Clear, perhaps.

Nausea has me intermittent for now. (peppermint is helping)

More later

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on September 2, 2016, at 13:47:24

In reply to Re: ghost story, posted by Tabitha on August 20, 2016, at 12:38:48

My Dear Sweet Tab-Tab-Tabrinni! (Hi, there Clear!)

> Oh, man, I'm sorry Jim. I didn't know you were going through that.
>
Obviously, I didn't know either. I apologize to you because I forgot how you were there through my whole thing, including Psycho-Rabble! I thank you for that then and for this now.
>
> Yes, I can imagine. The more you know, the more you know you forgot.
>
Per-xactly
> > And so far it's just to take a measure of my own past experience.
>
> Take it slow, and be kind to yourself, past & current.
>
Thank you again. Your sweetness eases these traumas considerably. However I see no useful way to speak of my past self without contravening whatever rules of civility that may yet exist. And there's no need to go there.

The potential value will be to excavate the artifacts about this transition at PBabble. But I'm going to wait until I have the strength for that.

Know that besides the treatment side-effects, I am feeling much better. More about those side-effects later.

Late June/early July I was diagnosed with oropharyngeal squamous cell carcinoma (HPV-16 positive) stage 4a. August 3 began 3 chemotherapy treatments (Cisplatin) every three weeks, the 2nd of which was August 24, and 5 days a week radiation every 8:00 AM.

Truly, I am at as close to zero risk of fatality as is possible under these circumstances. I mean it. For instance: I do not smoke cigarettes; I do not drink alcohol; I am not over-weight; I do not have diabetes. Furthermore being a HPV-16 carcinoma suggests this respond better to treatment.

But my side-effects are soul crushing. Nausea has me on three meds 24/7. Total loss of sense of taste. No garuantee it will return. Loss of ability to shallow: I can not eat and only barely drink. I live by the PEG tube installed week before treatments. But sometimes the nausea will regurgitate what went into the PEG feeding tube. Sometimes the nausea keeps me up all night. No rest for the weary.

Yet before treatment I was in constant pain and now I take Zero pain meds. I hate opioids.

Our 17 teen year old can never get this cancer. Had him vaccinated 6 years ago

I hate all food commercial. Hardly surprising. They're diabolical.

So my energy can vary a lot and I tend to sleep a lot. I lost 20 lbs and we are doing all we can to keep from losing any more.

"Squamous" means 'scaly'.

Did you know that Peppermint Oil, the vapors, really help nausea? They really do. I carry my little vial with a soaked cotton swab all the time. It can stop you puking like you threw a switch!

But I'm going to get into those Admin archives one of these days,

On a more serious note:
Please, please have every person you know under 27 get vaccinated against HPV!
Their newest vaccine protects against even more varieties of HPV.

Take care

 

Re: ghost story » lil jimi

Posted by Clearskies on September 2, 2016, at 22:54:12

In reply to Re: ghost story » Tabitha, posted by lil jimi on September 2, 2016, at 13:47:24

Oh, my. I haven't the faintest thing to say except I am so very happy you're with us, babbling.
Hugs!

 

Re: ghost story » Clearskies

Posted by lil jimi on September 2, 2016, at 23:36:16

In reply to Re: ghost story » lil jimi, posted by Clearskies on September 2, 2016, at 22:54:12

> Oh, my. I haven't the faintest thing to say except I am so very happy you're with us, babbling.
> Hugs!

your faintest thing shines your compassionate aurora incandescently across your Clear Skies: thank you my friend.

your hugs warm my soul.

get the youngsters vaccinated.

(and enjoy a big meal for me!)

 

Re: ghost story » lil jimi

Posted by Tabitha on September 3, 2016, at 12:24:25

In reply to Re: ghost story » Tabitha, posted by lil jimi on September 2, 2016, at 13:47:24


> Obviously, I didn't know either. I apologize to you because I forgot how you were there through my whole thing, including Psycho-Rabble! I thank you for that then and for this now.

Seems like ages ago, doesn't it?

> Late June/early July I was diagnosed with oropharyngeal squamous cell carcinoma (HPV-16 positive) stage 4a. August 3 began 3 chemotherapy treatments (Cisplatin) every three weeks, the 2nd of which was August 24, and 5 days a week radiation every 8:00 AM.

Ugh, Jim, I'm so sorry. That's a tough row to hoe. Several tough rows to hoe at once.


> Truly, I am at as close to zero risk of fatality as is possible under these circumstances. I mean it. For instance: I do not smoke cigarettes; I do not drink alcohol; I am not over-weight; I do not have diabetes. Furthermore being a HPV-16 carcinoma suggests this respond better to treatment.

Well that's some solace, a few rays of hope.


> But my side-effects are soul crushing. Nausea has me on three meds 24/7. Total loss of sense of taste. No garuantee it will return. Loss of ability to shallow: I can not eat and only barely drink. I live by the PEG tube installed week before treatments. But sometimes the nausea will regurgitate what went into the PEG feeding tube. Sometimes the nausea keeps me up all night. No rest for the weary.

Oh my dog, that must be the pits!


> Yet before treatment I was in constant pain and now I take Zero pain meds. I hate opioids.

Trading pain for nausea, not so great, but I guess it's better than pain + nausea, right?

>
> Our 17 teen year old can never get this cancer. Had him vaccinated 6 years ago

That must be a relief. I actually didn't realize they vaccinated boys, too.


> I hate all food commercial. Hardly surprising. They're diabolical.
>
> So my energy can vary a lot and I tend to sleep a lot. I lost 20 lbs and we are doing all we can to keep from losing any more.

I imagine it's a continuous fight right now. I hope the nausea will let up soon.

>
> "Squamous" means 'scaly'.

That's almost comical. Almost.


>
> Did you know that Peppermint Oil, the vapors, really help nausea? They really do. I carry my little vial with a soaked cotton swab all the time. It can stop you puking like you threw a switch!

No, I did not know that "the vapors" was peppermint oil. I'm glad it's helping!


> On a more serious note:
> Please, please have every person you know under 27 get vaccinated against HPV!
> Their newest vaccine protects against even more varieties of HPV.

You've educated me on this topic, thank you!

Jim, for what it's worth, I went through cancer treatment in 2012-2013 time-frame. One thing I remember (sort of) about chemo was memory loss, in between the long periods of sleeping. At the time I thought I must be permanently brain-damaged, but it turned out to be just short-term side effects. Like, I would watch a movie, and have zero memory of having seen it. It was truly like being a goldfish. I was annoyed that I wasn't prepared for that side-effect by the staff. I was told I'd have "flu-like symptoms", not brain-melt. So I still have holes in my memory of the period. Not that I need to remember it all, anyway.

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on September 7, 2016, at 23:44:44

In reply to Re: ghost story » lil jimi, posted by Tabitha on September 3, 2016, at 12:24:25

> > Did you know that Peppermint Oil, the vapors, really help nausea? They really do. I carry my little vial with a soaked cotton swab all the time. It can stop you puking like you threw a switch!
>
> No, I did not know that "the vapors" was peppermint oil. I'm glad it's helping!

My experience of the antiemetic benefit of peppermint still astonishes me. Having had to try promethazine, dexamethason, zofran (ondansetron), ativan and another I can't recall, in my attempts to not vomit, in various combinations and with various degrees success, I am still impressed by peppermint oil's effectiveness. I currently must take dexamethason and ondansetron 24/7 to keep food down.

But the smell, the scent, the fumes or vapors from peppermint oil can and do abate my vomit reflex even in midst of heaving regardless of which other medication(s) I am using. My chemotherapy doctor explained that taking peppermint in capsules or drinking peppermint tea does not have the same effect, although those can benefit digestion, but they do not relieve regurgitation the way sniffing peppermint oil extract does in fact do so powerfully for me.

Excuse me if there was a play on the term "the vapors". To be clear, I meant 'vapors' in the simply literal sense of inhaling the scent of peppermint as in snorting the aroma of the peppermint oil extract.

One time, in a panic, as I was being seized with the vomiting reflex convulsions I began getting a headache while I was desperately huffing my peppermint oil fumes. Once I relaxed a little I realized I had caused my momentary headache with oxygen deprivation. A little more air and my headache evaporated.

It still strikes me as bizarre that of these powerful prescription medications, none comes close to being so immediately effective as peppermint oil for me. Ondansetron (zofran) was designed to relieve nausea for chemotherapy patients and does help a lot. Yet none of these pharmaceuticals has provided anything like the immediacy of peppermint oil's relief. I marvel that this component in peppermint oil hasn't been developed as a pharmaceutical. I keep a vial of peppermint extract with me always to protect me from the violence of vomiting.

I have found that cannabis' ability to relieve nausea to be very limited. I haven't had access to cannabis oil extract which may well be as different as it is for peppermint, for all I know. But smoking cannabis is much too hot and too irritating, and can induce counterproductive coughing which can trigger gagging, retching or vomiting reflexes. And as much euphoria cannabis does provide, it becomes very unpleasant if I am puking.

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on September 8, 2016, at 0:05:28

In reply to Re: ghost story » lil jimi, posted by Tabitha on September 3, 2016, at 12:24:25

> Jim, for what it's worth, I went through cancer treatment in 2012-2013 time-frame. One thing I remember (sort of) about chemo was memory loss, in between the long periods of sleeping. At the time I thought I must be permanently brain-damaged, but it turned out to be just short-term side effects. Like, I would watch a movie, and have zero memory of having seen it. It was truly like being a goldfish. I was annoyed that I wasn't prepared for that side-effect by the staff. I was told I'd have "flu-like symptoms", not brain-melt. So I still have holes in my memory of the period. Not that I need to remember it all, anyway.


It is worth a great deal to me to have you here, a fellow cancer survivor. Your compassion is a very great blessing to me and I thank you for it. I am blessed that you are well. I have 11 (of 35) more radiation treatments to go and one more Cisplatin infusion.

In 1963 through 1967, when I was 12 till I was 16 years old I survived cancer before there was chemotherapy (and the attempt at Cobalt60 radiation was counterproductive, threateningly so). I was blessed with gifted surgeons who saved me and my left arm.

That was 50+ years ago. My doctors aren't that old now.

Yesterday my older brother texted me that he has been diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma on his lip and expects to have Mohs surgery on it later this month.

Our worlds turn in elliptical orbits.

 

Re: ghost story » lil jimi

Posted by Tabitha on September 8, 2016, at 0:11:41

In reply to Re: ghost story » Tabitha, posted by lil jimi on September 7, 2016, at 23:44:44

Ha ha, I think "the vapors" meant a fainting spell. What I was really thinking of was "smelling salts" which was used for "the vapors". D'oh!

It's amazing how much the peppermint is helping. I was never told to use it.

I had zofran or xanax for day, Ativan at night. And Emend for the day of the infusion plus the 2 days after that. I never got worse than slightly queasy. Everyone asked me if my doctor gave me medical marijuana and I thought it was hilarious that medical marijuana has a reputation of being a miracle cure for so many things.

How's your treatment going otherwise? Are you able to do much besides hurl and try not to hurl? How often do you have to go for appointments?

I am really glad you're checking in here!

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on September 8, 2016, at 13:35:41

In reply to Re: ghost story » lil jimi, posted by Tabitha on September 8, 2016, at 0:11:41

> Ha ha, I think "the vapors" meant a fainting spell. What I was really thinking of was "smelling salts" which was used for "the vapors". D'oh!
>
Okay. I knew I was missing something there:"The Vapors". Anyway, I ain't fainting. Yet.

> It's amazing how much the peppermint is helping. I was never told to use it.
>
Totally freakish how well it works; For Me.

> I had zofran or xanax for day, Ativan at night. And Emend for the day of the infusion plus the 2 days after that. I never got worse than slightly queasy.
>
Kytril is in one of my pre-Cisplatin infusion IVs. Initially, phenergan was my night time anti-nausea prescription, but it effects me as a stimulant and when I missed two nights sleep, I quit it.

Without medication I am violently nauseous.

>
>Everyone asked me if my doctor gave me medical marijuana and I thought it was hilarious that medical marijuana has a reputation of being a miracle cure for so many things.
>

The endocannabinoid system operates through CB1 receptors, which are mostly in the brain, and the CB2 receptors which are mostly in the immune system. It seems implied that ECS coordinates CNS with the immune system. Anandamide is the indigenous neurotransmitter for CB1.

THC induces euphoria which drives some 'high-flown' expectations from our recreational users community. Positive benefits, such as for pediatric seizure patients, are now well documented. But there are wide-sweeping claims of miraculous cure-all powers, for cancer for instance, that are not yet, and may not be justified.


> How's your treatment going otherwise?

Better today.

>Are you able to do much besides hurl and try not to hurl?

Well, as I say that I have run out of my zofran, so I am on the edge right now.

(AND my pharmacy just Turned Down my doctor's Rx!!??!!)
(**expletives deleted**)


> How often do you have to go for appointments?

Monday through Friday 8:00 am for radiation. Every three weeks for chemo: the third and last is this Wednesday.

>
> I am really glad you're checking in here!
>

Me too.
I must go spew now.

 

Re: ghost story » lil jimi

Posted by lil jimi on September 16, 2016, at 0:08:54

In reply to Re: ghost story » Tabitha, posted by lil jimi on September 8, 2016, at 13:35:41

(as I continue from my slough through the shedding slough of my last slough)

Spew? We Don't want to hear about it, please. Lets not trigger . . .

.... but it feels a lot like I might if I move the wrong way right now. At least I got my zofran finally.

Last of three chemotherapy treatments was yesterday. Tomorrow at 8:00am is number 26 of 35 irradiations leaving the last four Monday through Thursday of next week.

In two weeks I'll have an appointment with my "Chemo Sabe", Doc V.

All other things being equal, I'll get PET scan in three months.

Things are starting to look a lot like Xmas as that song goes.

Please, everyone have every young person you know vaccinated against Human Papillomavirsus (HPV). Once vaccinated they will never suffer the cancer I am recovering from and they will never give HPV to anybody they touch.

70% of all cervical cancers are caused by HPV16 and HPV18. HPV16 is the very virus that caused my cancer. There was no vaccine when I was young. Our son will never infect anybody and never suffer from my squamous cell carcinoma because he is vaccinated. Thousands suffer. Many die. Protect them all. Get them vaccinated. The latest vaccine affords protection from more varieties of HPV.

You may see a current campaign on television. A series of young people look into the camera and ask "Did you know Daddy?", "Did you know Mommie?" "That there is a vaccine for HPV?"

I am weak for this but I watch every time and I cry.

 

Re: ghost story » lil jimi

Posted by Tabitha on September 19, 2016, at 11:13:07

In reply to Re: ghost story » lil jimi, posted by lil jimi on September 16, 2016, at 0:08:54


> Last of three chemotherapy treatments was yesterday. Tomorrow at 8:00am is number 26 of 35 irradiations leaving the last four Monday through Thursday of next week.

You're almost done. Nice!

>
> In two weeks I'll have an appointment with my "Chemo Sabe", Doc V.

hahaha

> You may see a current campaign on television. A series of young people look into the camera and ask "Did you know Daddy?", "Did you know Mommie?" "That there is a vaccine for HPV?"
>
> I am weak for this but I watch every time and I cry.

So sad :-(

I hope your nausea is gone now that you're done with chemo. I found radiation less pleasant than chemo in a lot of ways. All the patients had to change into gowns and sit in a waiting room with a giant TV going. Nobody talked to anybody. Occasionally a volunteer brought in a therapy dog. That was the only bright spot. And the nurses were very cheerful.

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on January 1, 2017, at 3:49:16

In reply to Re: ghost story » lil jimi, posted by Tabitha on September 19, 2016, at 11:13:07

Our Ever-Lovin' Tabster writes me:
>> I hope your nausea is gone now that you're done with chemo. I found radiation less pleasant than chemo in a lot of ways. All the patients had to change into gowns and sit in a waiting room with a giant TV going. Nobody talked to anybody. Occasionally a volunteer brought in a therapy dog. That was the only bright spot. And the nurses were very cheerful.
>>

My 2017 resolution is to write you back but I can feel myself beginning to pass out because it's so late. Better that I catch up here tomorrow. Safer.

Til then

 

Re: ghost story » Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on January 1, 2017, at 14:14:55

In reply to Re: ghost story » lil jimi, posted by Tabitha on September 19, 2016, at 11:13:07

I wrote on September 15th:
> > Last of three chemotherapy treatments was yesterday. Tomorrow at 8:00am is number 26 of 35 irradiations leaving the last four Monday through Thursday of next week.

You replied:
> You're almost done. Nice!

Indeed my last infusion with Cisplatin Sept. 14th and my last radiation treatment was on September 22nd.

I wrote:
> >
> > In two weeks I'll have an appointment with my "Chemo Sabe", Doc V.
You relied:
> hahaha

And I thank you for appreciating my chemotherapy comedy:

"During my treatment we can tell I am 'Tonto' to Dr.Vinjamaram's 'Lone Ranger' since he's my "Chemo Sabe"."

>
> > You may see a current campaign on television. A series of young people look into the camera and ask "Did you know Daddy?", "Did you know Mommie?" "That there is a vaccine for HPV?"
> >
> > I am weak for this but I watch every time and I cry.
>
> So sad :-(

Unutterably tragic: Untold numbers are left at risk because effective, available vaccinations are not allowed to provide permanent protection. I know all too well the suffering that could be/should be prevented. And deaths! I grieve that HPV vaccinations are not universally mandatory.

>
> I hope your nausea is gone now that you're done with chemo. I found radiation less pleasant than chemo in a lot of ways. All the patients had to change into gowns and sit in a waiting room with a giant TV going. Nobody talked to anybody. Occasionally a volunteer brought in a therapy dog. That was the only bright spot. And the nurses were very cheerful.
>
>

Hi, Tabitha! (Happy 2017~!)

I suffered with nausea into late November. We celebrate that I have recovered this much. The social setting for my radiation was deliberately salubrious. No change of attire. A large room of loungers was/is both waiting and treatment room. No extra stresses beyond the infusion IV bags. Our nurses are angels too. The ambiance for the radiation was pleasant enough also. Separate locations; both within 5 miles our house. Very convenient.

Middle of October I had a very bad reaction to my anti-nausea medication dexamethasone which has set me back at least another month in my recovery. Worse: this was avoidable and entirely my own fault. I had been trying to gain back the 20 pounds I had lost up til then, only to lose 20 more: disaster! Still, now I am much better than I was and on my way (how ever god-awful slow it may be) to recovery.

All things considered, I remain deeply grateful.

Tell us how Tabitha is doing?

Thank you for posting to me and thanks for being patient enough for my delayed reply/replies.



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