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Re: ghost story Tabitha

Posted by lil jimi on August 20, 2016, at 2:10:55

In reply to Re: ghost story, posted by Tabitha on August 19, 2016, at 12:46:50

I wrote:
> > I need to read my own tracks in the archives. If only to compare what really happened to my memory's imagination. Then I can compare my past with these later conflicts.

Tabitha writes:
> Yeah, I recommend that. I trawled through the 2004-ish period when I was posting a ton on the psych board. It was tempting to reply to my past self. It's like a ride on a time machine. Whee!

I'm replying:
My impression of the past isn't just fogged up from a warm, fuzzy aura of sweet remembrance, it's seriously delusional. Not even that's things were worse than I remember, (they weren't that much worse, I don't think) it's that whole chunks of my past got vaporized! I'm checking for major head trauma to account for such huge recall deficits. Not just PBabble things neither. Maybe electro-stim damage? Of course, nothing that I could remember.

This will take a while. Reading only a few of my old posts from '03 was gut wrenching. The Time Machine takes me on a Roller Coaster ride in defiance of my inertial frames of reference. Talk about your "nausea of existence", well, at least the 'nausea' part. This is hard on me.

And so far it's just to take a measure of my own past experience. That's before I'm getting into the archives about the great demise here. If my health were perfect it'd be a tall order. As it stands now, I'll have to digest this slowly one small bite at a time.

I feel perfectly clueless now in 2016, memory blanks and all. There's a whole other cluelessness I got going back 2003.

Your encouragement means a lot to me, Tabitha. Then and now. Thanks.





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