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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Kath on October 9, 2008, at 15:29:28
Lots of stress around son's new apartment.
Too many details to go into, - some are:
- it had originally smelled like cat pee
- landlady who lives upstairs said she was steam cleaning carpet in his room that he was going to rent.So we went on Monday for him to sign rental agreement. As we walked into the apt we could still smell some cat pee (not TOO strong) & in his room it was there also.
- It was just him & I - not landlady. We were both upset. when we went up to see her, son said nicely that there's still a bit of a cat pee smell. She said 'impossible - I paid $300 for a carpet cleaning machine & special solution...you must be smelling the cleaning solution - it'll go as it dries'
-He said if on the off chance it doesn't, could he pull up the carpet & put rugs down or carpet.
She sorta freaked & said she couldn't afford to put new carpet; he said he would.STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Then her printer wouldn't work & she emailed the agreement to me; son & I went home, printed it, read it & there was all kinds of nonsense in it, for ex that if air conditioning, electrical, etc needed repair he'd be responsible for cost.etc.
So we took it over, went over it with her point by point. She was pretty good about changing it to be sensible.
Anyway, here I am giving all the details...!!
So also the % of the utilities was raised from 20 to 30% and when he asked for an idea of the amount she was all stressed out & saying "I though you wanted the place" etc.
Anyway, I am really stressed. WAYYYYYYY out of proportion to facts.
And at this point he won't be able to afford internet hookup & he uses it every night to talk with friends on Myspace. I am SO afraid that without it he will get depressed....and that brings back the situation in the rooming house he was in last year at this time & him being SO depressed & ending up using cocaine again (although I didn't know that until last January).
SO much stress & I feel so extremely f***ed up.
:-((((((((((((((((((((((
:-(((((((((((((((
And like I'm flippin' crazy.
:-( Kath
did I mention anxiety!!
Posted by zenhussy on October 9, 2008, at 15:59:25
In reply to :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by Kath on October 9, 2008, at 15:29:28
ok Kath......listen here lady.........this is kinda disaster thinking and let's break it down tiny bit by tiny bit....
>>And at this point he won't be able to afford internet hookup & he uses it every night to talk with friends on Myspace. I am SO afraid that without it he will get depressed....and that brings back the situation in the rooming house he was in last year at this time & him being SO depressed & ending up using cocaine again (although I didn't know that until last January).<<<
your fears come through loud and clear here. however could your fears of the past be just that? it is easy to understand how one can hold onto old fears given the non linear path of addiction and recovery but it is also important to remember and remind oneself that what happened in the past ISN'T SET IN STONE to repeat in the future. it only *feels* that way.
you can only do so much for your son's wellbeing....and you're doing tons and being a great ma........but you cannot do everything for him nor fight all his battles.
there will be backsliding and slippage during his recovery and you need to keep taking care of YOU so that you're not being pulled under by his issues.
please take a moment to breathe...........a couple long slow in and out breaths. sounds like your anxiety and worry are getting the best of you. stinks that anxiety and worry often don't listen to rational reasoning but that's the nature of those beasts.
be gentle w/ you Kath. this too shall pass. you're doing your best for your son but please don't forget about taking care of YOU too. k?
Love to you Capital K Kath.
Posted by Kath on October 9, 2008, at 16:13:44
In reply to breathe please.........just one deep breath...aahh » Kath, posted by zenhussy on October 9, 2008, at 15:59:25
wondering if you'd be available to Babblechat.
I will now go & read your most welcome reply.
Kath (thx for your most appropriate acknowledgement of the "K" ;-)
Posted by Kath on October 9, 2008, at 16:19:28
In reply to breathe please.........just one deep breath...aahh » Kath, posted by zenhussy on October 9, 2008, at 15:59:25
Thx Zenny for your MOST welcome reply.
I just read it & am actually going to print it & keep it in pocket.
You're right in all you said.
I am not quite sure what the heck is going on with me right now!!!
My stress was 9 out of 10 during the visit when we went to see landlady on Monday. I was WAYYYY more stressed out that my son was; although he was upset also. I realized that his landlady stuff was triggering some of my landlord stuff from a few decades ago!!
I'm also having grief surfacing that I'd kept inside from almost 2 years ago when he returned to Ontario from being in hospital in psych ward big-time psychotic in British Columbia. The grief has been bubbling up to the surface for, I dunno, maybe a few weeks now. So I think it is unbalancing me.
I seem 'frantic' to myself & I usually don't get quite like this!
Thx so much for your support. Will print that off now.
:-) Kath
Posted by Kath on October 9, 2008, at 17:22:49
In reply to Re: breathe please.........just one deep breath...aahh » zenhussy, posted by Kath on October 9, 2008, at 16:19:28
Feeling a little better. Have read Zenhussy's post that I printed a few times.
Have eaten 1/2 a tin of Libby's deep-browned beans, which I like.
Have to remember to EAT.
Yesterday went to walk-in for results re bladder infection. Test was negative, but there were ketones in my urine. Doc asked if I'm diabetic or if I'm dieting. No to both.
But I don't eat much. She said EAT MORE CARBS.
So I've been more aware today.She said the ketones meant that my body is - well the way she worded it was eating my muscles! Yikes.
It sorta snapped me into realizing shoot - I better EAT!
I always do ok for supper, it's the rest of the day that's hard.
ANYway, just talked online with my daughter for a bit. Son just cooked supper & it smells yummy. He's a good cook.
Signing off now. Kath
Posted by WaterSapphire on October 9, 2008, at 23:47:33
In reply to :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by Kath on October 9, 2008, at 15:29:28
((((KATHY)))
Why when reading this do I imagine this kind of thought process going through my own mind. As everyone else says here, or others have told me "just take a breather". But, I will be honest, I don't know how sometimes no matter how hard I try and that makes it even harder.
First of all, did the lady actually buy enzyme cleaner for the carpet or did she use some carpet cleaner that only says it is good for carpets? There is a product called simple solution at some pet stores, and other similar cleaners for cat urine. It must say it is a enzyme cleaner. Nature's miracle is another. Another problem is, if she used hot water it might make it worse. It needs to be done with an actual carpet shampooer and one that pushes the solution through with much water and has to be done with cold water as not to set in the scent. Also, if it has soaked into the padding, it might have to yes be completely ripped up. Then the floor would have to be sealed with kilz to get rid of the smell before laying down new carpet. Maybe if she did not use an enzyme cleaner, that would be a good option.
Sorry to go on and on. And hopefully everything will be ok. I just pray a lot when things get too hard for me to handle...
Peace
chelle
Posted by Phillipa on October 10, 2008, at 0:17:30
In reply to Re: :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by WaterSapphire on October 9, 2008, at 23:47:33
Kath now I understand why you are so stressed and has it been two years already since BC? Wow time flies. Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on October 10, 2008, at 22:22:02
In reply to Re: :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by WaterSapphire on October 9, 2008, at 23:47:33
Thx Chelle,
Thx for the excellent details. They coincide with info I got from a carpet cleaning company I phoned today!! They suggested that first, to go there & spray vinegar just in case. They mentioned the enzyme (sp?) solution.
When I put my nose down to the carpet here & there I can't smell cat pee, but i didn't smell the whole carpet!! You can't see any marks on it.
Tonight, son, hubby, son's friend & I went, armed with vinegar & spray bottles. As soon as we opened the door from outside, we were HIT with cat pee smell!! :-((((((( Not even in his room, but in the entryway & kitchen & the whole place!! (except the bathroom).
Today son & I met with his mental health caseworker. Last night son told me that he had been using "K" (ketamine) for a couple of days. Not in a 'partying' way, but because he was so stressed out! VERY disturbing for me to learn this. So today in our meeting, he said that he is quite concerned about moving out on his own. He is afraid that he won't be able to do as well in controlling his drug use. (The biggie is cocaine.) It was very scarey for me to hear this. We came up with some strategies on what things he can do to help him cope for 1 week. It includes seeing her twice during the week. It also involves him spending some of his time at his apartment & some at our house; a sort of transition time.
He wants to get a part time job. We all feel this will be good for him. Last time he lived on his own, he got very lonely & it triggered drug-use. He's really stressed about moving & doesn't know if he can 'make a go of it' on his own. He's nervous about what his roommate (person who rents the other room in the little apartment) will be like. [at THIS rate, with the cat pee hitting you in the face as you enter the place, I don't know if there'll BE a roommate....son was desparate for a place & also landlady had door wide open & said she'd be cleaning the carpet. Silly us.]
Have you ever WISHED that you could turn back the clock & redo something? That's how I feel BIGTIME right now.
The thing that I was so glad about (1-year rental agreement) has now turned out to be NOT a good thing.
Thx for your support! hugs, Kath
I'm not super religious. I do sort of pray, I guess. But mostly I tend to feel frantic or whiney or NOT wanting to have this all be real.
Posted by Kath on October 10, 2008, at 22:27:27
In reply to Re: :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by Phillipa on October 10, 2008, at 0:17:30
It'll be 2 years this Christmas. It was Boxing Day when he phoned & it came out that he was hearing voices telling him to do things. He was very much in danger. He was in hospital in B.C. for a month then came home pretty 'zombie-like'.
When I think of how far he's come, it's pretty wonderful, really!
Those 2 years seem to have gone very quickly, and at the same time, they seem to have lasted FOREVER. And yes, as you said in your babblemail, it does have a nightmare quality. Not ALL the time, but it's always there in the background. I certainly don't want it to be real.
I guess most of us here have stuff we don't want to be real.
At my group therapy, sometimes when I talk about some of this stuff, most people seem to look really uncomfortable & horrified & I can tell that they're glad they're not me! :-( THAT doesn't feel very nice. I don't like it when that happens.
thx for your support Phillipa, xoxo Kath
Posted by fayeroe on October 11, 2008, at 13:22:31
In reply to :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by Kath on October 9, 2008, at 15:29:28
> Lots of stress around son's new apartment.
Why are you taking on the stress of something that an adult child should handle on hs own?
>
> Too many details to go into, - some are:
>
> - it had originally smelled like cat pee
> - landlady who lives upstairs said she was steam cleaning carpet in his room that he was going to rent.when it is dry, try shaking a good amount of soda on it....let set and vacumn. do it twiceif yo think it helped the first time. good luck! cat pee is the worst.
>
> So we went on Monday for him to sign rental agreement. As we walked into the apt we could still smell some cat pee (not TOO strong) & in his room it was there also.
>
> - It was just him & I - not landlady. We were both upset. when we went up to see her, son said nicely that there's still a bit of a cat pee smell. She said 'impossible - I paid $300 for a carpet cleaning machine & special solution...you must be smelling the cleaning solution - it'll go as it dries'
>
> -He said if on the off chance it doesn't, could he pull up the carpet & put rugs down or carpet.
> She sorta freaked & said she couldn't afford to put new carpet; he said he would.
It doesn't always work if the tenant takes on the arrangements and cost of remodeling. What if the landlady decides she doesn't like the changes and she can very well do that if she gets pissed off about something else. Then he has an investment and no return for it.
>
> STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
>
> Then her printer wouldn't work & she emailed the agreement to me; son & I went home, printed it, read it & there was all kinds of nonsense in it, for ex that if air conditioning, electrical, etc needed repair he'd be responsible for cost.etc.
>
> So we took it over, went over it with her point by point. She was pretty good about changing it to be sensible.good deal~
>
> Anyway, here I am giving all the details...!!
>
> So also the % of the utilities was raised from 20 to 30% and when he asked for an idea of the amount she was all stressed out & saying "I though you wanted the place" etc.
>
> Anyway, I am really stressed. WAYYYYYYY out of proportion to facts.
>
> And at this point he won't be able to afford internet hookup & he uses it every night to talk with friends on Myspace.How about making the effort to make some IRL friends? Warm bodies.
I am SO afraid that without it he will get depressed....and that brings back the situation in the rooming house he was in last year at this time & him being SO depressed & ending up using cocaine again (although I didn't know that until last January).
Kath.......if he is going to get depressed and use.....there is not one thing that you can do. let him stand on his own two feet and try to quit propping this young man up. this guy has to accept responsibility for his own choices. sweetie, as long as he has you as a safety net...expect him to use that net over and over and over....you're going to keep moving net to catch him over and over.....what does he learn from that? mom will always bail/catch/make excuses/project for him. said with much love and "been there, done that"....what do you think it would be, if it wasn't the lack of internet?????
>
> SO much stress & I feel so extremely f***ed up.
>
> :-((((((((((((((((((((((
>
> :-(((((((((((((((
>
> And like I'm flippin' crazy.you are giving your power and tacit approval to to the situation...Kath, what are you going to have for yourself?
>
> :-( Kath
>
> did I mention anxiety!! Kath, detach...xoxoxo pat
Posted by WaterSapphire on October 13, 2008, at 6:29:50
In reply to Some of my fears are apparently not unrealistic, posted by Kath on October 10, 2008, at 22:22:02
Yes, I completely get the wanna turn back the clock thing. Get a black light. It will show you where the urine is coming from if that is still in the carpet. It is hard even when removed from the carpet because of the padding beneath. I suggest you you get some of that simple solution,petzyme, natures miracle, from a pet store... or OUT from walmart. That is if you are in the US. You can also find a type of laundry detergent that cleans out urine odors like for babies and that might help too if you cannot find the enzyme spray. If you go and look for laundry detergent (whisk is one of them), many have if you read the ingredients (enzymes in them). I know this from personal experience. I have a male cat who has accidents and is a pain in my rear..
SIGH, but I feel bad and do not want to have to get rid of him. I have been able to succesfully clean up after his messes. Problem is, the landlady must have left the problem for too long. I am so sorry bout your son. You may in fact not be stuck with that lease since it smells like cat pee you know. By law, in the US at least the landlord is supposed to fix those problems. However, taking care of them is another matter. Have you thought about having him seek out free legal advice? I am so sorry about the drug issue.
People do self medicate sometimes with other things when they do not know how to handle something. Another thing that will help at least to make it less stinky is to get that powdered arm and hammer carpet powder. They make one called pet fresh. If he wants he could just leave it right in the carpet for a few days instead of just vacuuming it up. Incense helps too...lol..Hope things get better,
Peace
Chelle
Posted by Kath on October 13, 2008, at 20:42:17
In reply to Kath, posted by WaterSapphire on October 13, 2008, at 6:29:50
> Yes, I completely get the wanna turn back the clock thing. Get a black light. It will show you where the urine is coming from if that is still in the carpet. It is hard even when removed from the carpet because of the padding beneath.
*******Yes, we did get a black light, but it didn't show up anything, so I suspect it might be in underpadding. Used "nose-to-carpet" method & as I said in post above, found 8 areas & dealt with them.***
I suggest you you get some of that simple solution,petzyme, natures miracle, from a pet store... or OUT from walmart. That is if you are in the US. You can also find a type of laundry detergent that cleans out urine odors like for babies and that might help too if you cannot find the enzyme spray. If you go and look for laundry detergent (whisk is one of them), many have if you read the ingredients (enzymes in them). I know this from personal experience. I have a male cat who has accidents and is a pain in my rear..
*****Yup - did that & sprinkled zeolite also. ***
> SIGH, but I feel bad and do not want to have to get rid of him. I have been able to succesfully clean up after his messes. Problem is, the landlady must have left the problem for too long. I am so sorry bout your son. You may in fact not be stuck with that lease since it smells like cat pee you know. By law, in the US at least the landlord is supposed to fix those problems. However, taking care of them is another matter. Have you thought about having him seek out free legal advice?
***Yup - free legal advice folks said he'd have more 'clout' once he moves in, but we want to see what we can do about it beFORE he moves in first! We'll see what happens. We're hoping the steps we took will help. Son sent her an email explaining why the few items he'd already moved in are in the hall outside his room; that he had cleaned it once, would clean it again if necessary, and if that didn't work, it seemed there'd be no option but to remove the carpet.
Sorry you have to deal with your cat issues! I love my cat to pieces. I am so lucky he doesn't pee or scratch.***
I am so sorry about the drug issue.
> People do self medicate sometimes with other things when they do not know how to handle something.****Thx. He's been using one thing or another since he was about 14. I've read that people sort of stop maturing emotionally at the point they start dealing with emotions with substances. If that's true, he has 10 years of catching up to do (he's 24).****
Another thing that will help at least to make it less stinky is to get that powdered arm and hammer carpet powder. They make one called pet fresh.
If he wants he could just leave it right in the carpet for a few days instead of just vacuuming it up. Incense helps too...lol..Hope things get better,
*****Thx! Landlady has sprayed the place with Strawberry Airwick & Lavendar Febreeze to within an inch of its life!!!Actually my son did say that he'll just burn incense when his friends come over, if necessary.
Thanks so much for your support. hugs, Kath**
> Peace
> Chelle
Posted by Kath on October 13, 2008, at 20:45:21
In reply to Re: :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by fayeroe on October 11, 2008, at 13:22:31
Oops - thought I posted this Pat & hadn't done!
> Why are you taking on the stress of something that an adult child should handle on hs own?******good point. I guess I view him as NOT an adult! When he's 'sharp' & 'himself' I deal with things much better. His meds make him sort of spacey & not quite 'there'. He has stopped taking seroquel & is slowly, gradually cutting back on risperidol so hopefully that will help. On days when he's forgotten to take his meds the night before, he is WAY more like himself.
I did much better when there was a CoDA meeting for me to attend...did so for over 3 years.***
> when it is dry, try shaking a good amount of soda on it....let set and vacumn. do it twiceif yo think it helped the first time. good luck! cat pee is the worst.
*******we located (by 'nose to carpet' method) 8 areas in his room along various walls where there was cat pee smell. We then sprayed with, I think it was Nature's Miracle - anyway, an enzyme spray. We then sprinkled "zeolite" all over the rug. Guy at pet store told us he found it very good to absorb the odour. Thx for suggestion. Can try that also. Haven't been over for 2 days - since above 'treatment'. Will check it out tomorrow, I guess***
> It doesn't always work if the tenant takes on the arrangements and cost of remodeling. What if the landlady decides she doesn't like the changes and she can very well do that if she gets pissed off about something else. Then he has an investment and no return for it.****He'd okay it with her first. Says he has to in agreement.***
> How about making the effort to make some IRL friends? Warm bodies.
****He has quite a few friends. I've seen him make numerous phone calls & be really cheerful when talking with his friends, so as not to seem desparate, when he's trying to find someone to hang-out with. He uses the internet when he can't find anyone to get together with.
At recent meeting with his mental health case-worker he was saying how he didn't know if he could make a go of it on his own, etc. They came up with various steps of a plan as to what he could do to make it easier. Yesterday I asked him if he was feeling any more positive since the meeting with ___. He said that yes, he was.***
> Kath.......if he is going to get depressed and use.....there is not one thing that you can do. let him stand on his own two feet and try to quit propping this young man up. this guy has to accept responsibility for his own choices. sweetie, as long as he has you as a safety net...expect him to use that net over and over and over....you're going to keep moving net to catch him over and over.....what does he learn from that? mom will always bail/catch/make excuses/project for him. said with much love and "been there, done that"....what do you think it would be, if it wasn't the lack of internet?????*****Thx Pat. I'll print that paragraph out! The internet thing was my idea...that my mind popped up for me to worry about. And I'm sure my mind can pop up NUMEROUS ideas for me to worry about. I am doing a bit better today in somehow being able to pull myself back a bit - like standing back. Perhaps one of the best things I can ask myself is: "Kath - How Old is He???!!!" I think that might help jolt me a little. Part of me KNOWS that it is disrespectful of me to be the way I am! Disrespectful of him. There's another part that gets panicky & frantic.***
> you are giving your power and tacit approval to to the situation...Kath, what are you going to have for yourself?***I sometimes wonder WHAT is wrong with me!! I did go to a Raku pottery firing with 2 pottery friends on Saturday & got wonderful results in some wall-pouches & jewellry & am feeling somewhat better. I am very fortunate that my husband is very supportive of me.
thanks for your support, especially when you're going through such a stressful time yourself.
luv, Kath
Posted by manic666 on October 14, 2008, at 4:04:25
In reply to Kath, posted by WaterSapphire on October 13, 2008, at 6:29:50
can i give his landlady a smack . mannic 666
Posted by Kath on October 14, 2008, at 19:43:30
In reply to Re: Kath, posted by manic666 on October 14, 2008, at 4:04:25
> can i give his landlady a smack . mannic 666
Jeez, I wish you would - & I don't mean the kissing kind!
:-) Kath
Posted by Sigismund on October 18, 2008, at 16:09:56
In reply to Re: :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by fayeroe on October 11, 2008, at 13:22:31
Hi Pat, HI Kath
Some kids are so much more resilient than others.
It would take a lot of wisdom to know how much support is too much.
You only get one chance at life and then its over.
My daughter impressed me on the phone talking to a friend about going out drinking (Australians are basically excessive with drink) and she said
'I dunno, I suck when I'm drunk'.I was more or less living (well, not) on the street, (because you could bodgie up a room in a garage and pay only $4 a week rent) when I was that age, and we have a benign climate for the poor. And we don't have coke, which is (I suppose) a mixed blessing.
My psych amused me by saying that what we needed were ADs that felt like coke or amphetamine.Life gets pretty bloody dry sometimes, hey.
Like that old woman I knew who lived in an aged care facility (wonderful word, facility) clutching a teddy bear and living with the smell of dreadful food and excrement, and for years she hadn't said a thing when anyone visited, and one day she opened her mouth and said
'Life's not all it's cracked up to be, is it?'
And I don't think she ever said anything else.I hope I haven't depressed you.
Posted by Sigismund on October 18, 2008, at 16:15:51
In reply to Re: :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by Sigismund on October 18, 2008, at 16:09:56
We had an ALP politician here who once said
'If you go through life with a smile on your face you haven't been looking'.
Posted by Kath on October 18, 2008, at 20:01:59
In reply to Re: :-( So stressed. Make that STRESSED, posted by Sigismund on October 18, 2008, at 16:09:56
> Hi Pat, HI Kath
>
> Some kids are so much more resilient than others.
>
> It would take a lot of wisdom to know how much support is too much.
>
> You only get one chance at life and then its over.******I comfort myself by knowing that I have done the best I COULD in the past & continue to do the best I CAN!!! & maybe even if we are doing crappy, we're doing the best we can?? I'm pretty scared for my son, but it's his life. DH & I do the best we can to 'be there' for him & it might be TOO much, but the way we look at it, we have to be able to live with ourself whatever happens. 32 yr old daughter gets upset at me for 'enabling' - she isn't walking in my shoes.
When it really affects my emotional/ mental/ physical health it's too much. I read 36 pages of "Taming Your Gremlin" by Rick Carson today. I think it actually might help me 'get my life back'. So far it's an excellent book***
> My daughter impressed me on the phone talking to a friend about going out drinking (Australians are basically excessive with drink) and she said
> 'I dunno, I suck when I'm drunk'.****That's pretty impressive really. Isn't she only 18?? Lucky her to have that insight***
>
> I was more or less living (well, not) on the street, (because you could bodgie up a room in a garage and pay only $4 a week rent) when I was that age, and we have a benign climate for the poor. And we don't have coke, which is (I suppose) a mixed blessing.
********I thought coke was everywhere?? (Unfortunately, I'd say)***> My psych amused me by saying that what we needed were ADs that felt like coke or amphetamine.
******hmmmmm. Wouldn't that be something else!***
>
> Life gets pretty bloody dry sometimes, hey.
>
> Like that old woman I knew who lived in an aged care facility (wonderful word, facility) clutching a teddy bear and living with the smell of dreadful food and excrement, and for years she hadn't said a thing when anyone visited, and one day she opened her mouth and said
> 'Life's not all it's cracked up to be, is it?'
> And I don't think she ever said anything else.*****Jeez!***
>
> I hope I haven't depressed you.*****Not anymore than I was. It's always nice to hear what you have to say, whatever it might be. hugs, Kath
Posted by Kath on October 18, 2008, at 20:02:42
In reply to Along the same lines, posted by Sigismund on October 18, 2008, at 16:15:51
This is the end of the thread.
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