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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alesta on January 9, 2007, at 12:29:09
sometimes i think i am going to lose my d%mn mind.
i am learning not to be a doormat. slowly. i seeked counsel from someone on this (usually don't do that, so this is a major step for me) and came to the realization that i am being abused and don't have to take it..
and i am building a lot of anger. and if i meet one more narcissist i will SCREAM. i can't take it anymore sometimes. the world a hostile place. sometimes i feel like i am losing myself and fear i will become like them if i am around them long enough. it's scary (i am very empathetic and in danger of this maybe more than others because i get inside ppl's heads too easily...i say this only because i'm trying to be understood here guys..) i know this won't happen but anyway.
sometimes i just want to cry forever. people can be so cruel. a friend showed their true colors to me yesterday and it makes me so sad. at least i don't have baggage though. somehow i am able to not have that. weird. thanks for reading whoever you are.
please if anyone has any thoughts at all please reply. i could use a friend or some compassion. things are rough. i really could use a little feedback folks. some thoughts...i feel alone.
amy
Posted by mair on January 9, 2007, at 12:45:40
In reply to abusers abusers everywhere, posted by alesta on January 9, 2007, at 12:29:09
I saw your post on the admin site. Since I haven't been around here in a long time, I don't know if the anger is directed at anyone here or at someone or thing IRL. My dad was a pretty incredible narcissist, although I probably wouldn't have pegged him that way; my T attached that label to him. I know there are lots of behaviors that I associate with him and I cringe whenever I see any of them in myself. He had a way of making his needs very well known and of paramount importance. He was over the top, but the bad thing is that as an overreaction to his behavior, I tend to feel that I'm not entitled to ask for anything from others - even if I think my need is legitimate, I recoil at the thought of expressing that need.
So who are you letting run over you and why?
mair
Posted by alesta on January 9, 2007, at 13:00:00
In reply to Re: abusers abusers everywhere » alesta, posted by mair on January 9, 2007, at 12:45:40
> I saw your post on the admin site. Since I haven't been around here in a long time, I don't know if the anger is directed at anyone here or at someone or thing IRL. My dad was a pretty incredible narcissist, although I probably wouldn't have pegged him that way; my T attached that label to him. I know there are lots of behaviors that I associate with him and I cringe whenever I see any of them in myself. He had a way of making his needs very well known and of paramount importance. He was over the top, but the bad thing is that as an overreaction to his behavior, I tend to feel that I'm not entitled to ask for anything from others - even if I think my need is legitimate, I recoil at the thought of expressing that need.
>
> So who are you letting run over you and why?
>
> mairwhat's up mair.:) glad to actually have a response! well let's see..i'd really rather not go into details on that...it's just too complicated and i'd rather not get into the who/why aspect if you don't mind (it's no one from here)...but, yes, i like you am learning to ask for things from others...instead of just looking inside myself for all the answers...which i did for so long. sorry for not divulging more..it just takes too much energy right now.
i feel for you, being the child of a narcissist. it's a really hard thing to deal with...
Posted by kid47 on January 9, 2007, at 13:30:40
In reply to Re: abusers abusers everywhere » mair, posted by alesta on January 9, 2007, at 13:00:00
Hey. Sounds like things are kinda suckin' in your world right now. Sorry!! I too have a VERY difficult time asking for anything....even when I'm desperate..... I have just always handled everything myself. On the rare occasion I have suggested to someone, (usually someone, who I've willingly helped out in the past and I consider to be my friend) that I could use some assistance, I have been met with what I perceive as either a luke warm response are jusrt outright refusal (usually followed by some lame excuse). Unfortunately there are people in the world who seem unbelieveably selfish and inconsiderate......but just when my cynical outlook and negative perception of things begins to win out, I get a call from someone who seems genuinely concerened for my well being (and no, not just my mom). who is willing to really go out of their way to give me a hand and does this without me even asking.
Yeah ther are some abusive, abrasive, inconsiderate, and deceitful beings out there, but fortunately we're not all like that. Maybe you just run with a rough crowd ;) Hope things get better for you real soon. I'm sure they will. and remember..."If your nose runs, and your feet smell, you're built upside down."Peace and Happiness
kid
> > I saw your post on the admin site. Since I haven't been around here in a long time, I don't know if the anger is directed at anyone here or at someone or thing IRL. My dad was a pretty incredible narcissist, although I probably wouldn't have pegged him that way; my T attached that label to him. I know there are lots of behaviors that I associate with him and I cringe whenever I see any of them in myself. He had a way of making his needs very well known and of paramount importance. He was over the top, but the bad thing is that as an overreaction to his behavior, I tend to feel that I'm not entitled to ask for anything from others - even if I think my need is legitimate, I recoil at the thought of expressing that need.
> >
> > So who are you letting run over you and why?
> >
> > mair
>
> what's up mair.:) glad to actually have a response! well let's see..i'd really rather not go into details on that...it's just too complicated and i'd rather not get into the who/why aspect if you don't mind (it's no one from here)...but, yes, i like you am learning to ask for things from others...instead of just looking inside myself for all the answers...which i did for so long. sorry for not divulging more..it just takes too much energy right now.
>
> i feel for you, being the child of a narcissist. it's a really hard thing to deal with...
>
>
Posted by alesta on January 9, 2007, at 13:53:00
In reply to Re: abusers abusers everywhere » alesta, posted by kid47 on January 9, 2007, at 13:30:40
> Hey. Sounds like things are kinda suckin' in your world right now. Sorry!! I too have a VERY difficult time asking for anything....even when I'm desperate..... I have just always handled everything myself. On the rare occasion I have suggested to someone, (usually someone, who I've willingly helped out in the past and I consider to be my friend) that I could use some assistance, I have been met with what I perceive as either a luke warm response are jusrt outright refusal (usually followed by some lame excuse). Unfortunately there are people in the world who seem unbelieveably selfish and inconsiderate......but just when my cynical outlook and negative perception of things begins to win out, I get a call from someone who seems genuinely concerened for my well being (and no, not just my mom). who is willing to really go out of their way to give me a hand and does this without me even asking.
> Yeah ther are some abusive, abrasive, inconsiderate, and deceitful beings out there, but fortunately we're not all like that. Maybe you just run with a rough crowd ;) Hope things get better for you real soon. I'm sure they will. and remember..."If your nose runs, and your feet smell, you're built upside down."
>
> Peace and Happiness
>
> kid<Maybe you just run with a rough crowd
you hit the nail on the head with that one, kid!:) thank you *so much* for caring enough to respond with kindness...it seriously makes me want to cry (yes i am a total mess lol).:)
you know what...you're right...there are kind people out there...i just don't surround myself with them lol. i met this one person who is nasty and of course her friend is nasty too that i hang with (what's that saying...birds of a feather flock together) and so i am just hating it. she slanders me and her friend believes her and treats me like dirt and god it's just too hard to explain it all. but i am HATING life. i hope to extricate myself from them completely soon but due to a few details i can't right now.
but there are people that have been really kind to me, too...i do still believe in kindness. i do. and that was such an excellent point to make.
thanks again. i know they will get better. may you have a great day....and that quirky joke was just what i needed! (i am having a seriously downer day)
thank you kid, my friend. you are wonderful!!:-)
aim
Posted by Phillipa on January 9, 2007, at 14:33:39
In reply to Re: abusers abusers everywhere » kid47, posted by alesta on January 9, 2007, at 13:53:00
Awww sweetie what's happening in your life now? I feel for you and you are right people and even family arent so nice at times. ((((Alesta)))))) Love Phillipa
Posted by alesta on January 9, 2007, at 14:37:33
In reply to Re: abusers abusers everywhere » alesta, posted by Phillipa on January 9, 2007, at 14:33:39
> Awww sweetie what's happening in your life now? I feel for you and you are right people and even family arent so nice at times. ((((Alesta)))))) Love Phillipa
Thank you. I've explained most of it...thanks for the support!
love
aim
Posted by Phil on January 9, 2007, at 15:15:37
In reply to Re: abusers abusers everywhere » Phillipa, posted by alesta on January 9, 2007, at 14:37:33
Aimster...If they want to mess with you, they're going to have to go through me first! GRRRR..
Pulling for you girl.Phil
Posted by mair on January 9, 2007, at 16:52:09
In reply to Re: abusers abusers everywhere » mair, posted by alesta on January 9, 2007, at 13:00:00
Several years ago I read this book about depression. The author made the observation that people who are depressed would like those around them to be mindreaders. That pretty much encapsulates me, lots of the time. It would just be so much easier if those around us could intuit our needs, thereby saving us the trouble of having to express them.
mair
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