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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 15 to 39 of 39. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phillipa on June 9, 2006, at 22:33:47
In reply to Re: What is it with women... » TexasChic, posted by sleepygirl on June 9, 2006, at 21:38:01
Seduction? Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 7:59:41
In reply to Re: What is it with women..., posted by Phillipa on June 9, 2006, at 22:33:47
The whole not knowing what the hell happened. This is the kind of thing that makes me crazy. If I just knew, I could get upset, get over it and move on. Now I'm just left hanging. I know we had a fight and I was still mad at him, but I never said anything about that. I just acted like it was forgotten. I didn't start conversations, but I was always friendly when he did. So why would he purposely do something he knew would upset me? I know it was purposely because otherwise he would have returned my call asking why he didn't say goodbye.
I sent him an email saying "Why are you being so mean to me?" That's my last attempt at communication though. I hope he writes back, just so I'll know... something.
-T
P.S. No tough love please. I'm not ready for that.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 10, 2006, at 9:38:39
In reply to I hate this, posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 7:59:41
Hey TX,
I'm really digging these posts.
I think we could be good buddies IRL. you're funny as all he*l and the saga of office life with the bitchygrls and the cuteboy is so true, and so honest. I mean the grls in particular are almost caricatures of the stereotypes of my personal worst nightmare. You're doing pretty well, though, to realize how toxic the workplace environment is for you right now. Are you going to have problems finding a new job if it comes to that?Anyway, a little cheerleading for the TXchica,
Anyone who can still laugh at herself after such a yucky day, after throwing tortilla chips all over the place... well, you have my respect and my chuckles. I think you're resilient and you're funny and you will find a guy. probably even a cuteguy.best wishes for a clean start with cuteboy II.
In the meanwhile, know that you made depressedgirl laugh hard (with you, not AT you!)
-ll
Posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 12:26:10
In reply to Re: I hate this » TexasChic, posted by llrrrpp on June 10, 2006, at 9:38:39
Thanks. I do try to keep my sense of humor, and actually feel better for a while, but then I go back to being sad and hurt again (like now). Eventually I'll go back to feeling better... then sad, and that will keep on going until I get over it.
Those girls do sound like caricatures. I just can't believe anyone could be so immature, not to mention mean and cruel. Who laughs at someone crying??? I mean really? I just don't get it. How could anyone actually enjoy seeing another person suffer? I just can't imagine it. But they're the least of my worries. They were just the added insult to injury.
I'm going to have a hard time letting go if cuteboy doesn't at least email me back. I know something had to have happened or changed, but I don't know what. I have a hard time letting things go when I don't know what happened. I need closure of some sort. But I know from experience that sometimes you just don't get it. You have to let it go without ever knowing what happened. Its reaching that point of letting go that's so incredibly hard.
I know I'll get through this and eventually feel better, but that knowledge doesn't make the pain I feel now any less. Sigh.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 15:58:21
In reply to Re: I hate this » llrrrpp, posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 12:26:10
I did it. I sent the embarrassing email telling him I liked him. I don't expect to get anything out of it except the knowledge that I was able to say my piece and explain some things. I just hope I don't run into him anytime soon! But I considered that before I sent it and decided I had to do it anyway. Whatever happens happens. Here's what I wrote (let me know what you think, but please be gentle):
Well, I guess I’m not going to get a response from you, so I’ll just have to let it go. But before I do I wanted to tell you a couple of things. I don’t know if you ever realized, but for the longest time I’ve kind of had a crush on you.
That’s why I’d get so upset when you did something that made me aware you didn’t really care about me all that much. Or maybe you did know about it and this was
just the easiest way you knew of to get rid of me. I always knew you didn’t like me back that way, but I thought maybe we could at least be friends. Apparently I didn’t handle the situation very well, but it was kind of hard to know where to put those feelings when I sat by you at work everyday. Then when L_____ and P_____
started harassing me, it made it that much more difficult to stay indifferent. I knew having them dislike me would soon lead to you feeling the same way.Just to let you know how they really are; after you didn’t come back from lunch, I realized you intentionally left without saying goodbye, even though I was sitting right there as you cleaned off your desk and got ready to leave, and in spite of the fact that I told you I wasn’t coming back. I started crying, but was trying to not let anyone see. But P_____ and L_____ saw and gawked at me across the room. They weren’t even trying to hide it, they were even standing on their tip toes so they could see me better. They LAUGHED and said, "She didn't know he was leaving!" Then they proceeded to walk around and say your name as much as possible when near me. Other people witnessed this too. N_____ and I were sitting there speechless, amazed that anyone could be so childish and ridiculously transparent! I still don’t understand how a grown person could possibly be that immature, not to mention mean. P_____ would say, "Hey L_____, come read the review B_____ wrote about this movie!" And L_____ would run over there so they could talk loudly about it. That was the point when N_____ said, "OMG, that’s unbelievable. I mean its really, really unbelievable!” I told him I was glad he was witnessing it because their behavior was so over the top no one would ever believe they really acted that way (it wasn't until later that I found out other people had heard too). Of course this was just an example of what I had been putting up with all along.
So anyway, in spite of how embarrassing this is, I felt I needed to tell you what really went on so you wouldn’t think I was just crazy. Maybe now you can understand a little bit of what I was going through and how much more difficult it all was because of how I felt about you. Or you just think I’m crazier than ever. But I guess there’s not much I can do about that now.
Goodbye B_____
************************Well that's it. I hope I did the right thing. I just felt like it was what I needed to do. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but replaced by a humongous scary feeling!
Aw hell, its 5 o'clock somewhere.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 16:48:56
In reply to Re: F*ck » sleepygirl, posted by TexasChic on June 9, 2006, at 20:58:38
>Damn! Blonde hair, big boobs, horny, and I love sci-fi, what else does a guy want???
OMG, I can't believe I said that. I was drunk by then, sorry.
-T
Posted by llrrrpp on June 10, 2006, at 16:52:27
In reply to OMG! I sent him THE email!, posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 15:58:21
Oh Wow, Tex,
that is a really brave e-mail. Is he sensitive at all, or just a nice piece of cute-boy-burger? I think that a lot of so-called "nice guys" wouldn't know what to do with such an e-mail. I wrote a letter once to my crush from sophmore year of college. It took him almost !!!3 YEARS!!! to get back to me on that. He would look at me strangely when I bumped into him. Then one day he asked me to go on a walk with him. Um, okay, haven't really seen you in months, sure, let's take a walk. WELL- it turned out that he wasn't ready for a relationship at the time when I wrote him the letter. That he liked me, and he even had a little crush on me too, but that he had no idea what to do. He knew how to flirt just fine, and how to hook up, even. BUT, he had no idea what it took to start seeing someone exclusively. I was SO hurt by him at the time. Ultimately though, I think he's the one that lost out. We would have made an interesting couple, and he could have learned a lot about being a man. Anyways, enough about me.I bet cuteboy realizes that these girls are sneaky and manipulative. In the best case scenario, he probably didn't say bye to you because he didn't want them to give you crap. Another possibility for his abrupt departure is that the bitchygrls were annoying the hell out of him. If they *weren't* annoying the hell out of him- hmmm. He might not be a good judge of character. Anyways. I hope the anxiety of waiting for a response ends soon, either with further romantic developments OR, like ripping a band-aid off- faster hurts less (does it really?). I sincerely hope he doesn't do what my once-upon-a-time crush did. (JERK!!)
Best wishes Tex,
hugs for you(((((((((TexasChic))))))))))
Posted by llrrrpp on June 10, 2006, at 16:55:04
In reply to Drunk Posting again, posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 16:48:56
Tex, this had me lol. No need to apologize (unless it's to your liver?)
Even if it is drunk posting, in vino veritas...
don't feel bad. lots have posted much more personal and potentially embarassing things.
(it's kinda like walking around with your zipper undone. you'll be able to laugh about it in a while)
-llrrrpp
Posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 17:19:34
In reply to Re: OMG! I sent him THE email!, posted by llrrrpp on June 10, 2006, at 16:52:27
I think he is pretty sensitive, and somewhat shy. So you think he won't know what to do with my email? I'm not necessarily expecting a response. I'm about 50/50 on that. I just wanted him to know. Before when I felt he was showing interest in me, the thought did cross my mind that he might be intimidated by me. I don't know if you know this, but I'm 36 and he's 25. So make of that what you will. I just wanted him to know I acted the way I did because I was interested in him, and not because I'm psycho and overreact to everything. I'm not entirely sure he will understand why my liking him would make me behave the way I have, but I know its the reason and thought I'd give it a shot.
Oh, about my drunk post. I did laugh when I read it. I was like, OMG, what the hell? I just wanted to make sure everyone knew I wasn't sober when I posted that! I also noticed somewhere I said it was Saturday night. Oops! I think people are used to my occasional drunk post by now.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 4:57:31
In reply to Re: OMG! I sent him THE email! » llrrrpp, posted by TexasChic on June 10, 2006, at 17:19:34
I keep waking up at 4:30 feeling all jumpy and like I HAVE to get out of bed. Its the time I usually get up for work, but I never just wake up at that time. I guess its because of everything going around in my head.
I know if I hadn't said anything I would have always wondered. I guess part of me expected a response of some sort, even a negative one. So now I have to go through life with no response to such a daring admission. I told myself over and over it was very unlikely I'd get a response. But I keep checking my email.
I know by now he had to have read it. I still don't know why he didn't say goodbye or get back with me when he knew I was upset about it. His behavior the whole last week was out of character. To me it seems like he must be mad about something. Or else he knew how I felt and couldn't figure out how else to get rid of me. I wish my friend who knows him would write back and give me some insight.
I guess I just have to remind myself that I took a chance and did something daring instead of sitting back and wondering what might have happened. And no matter how ill advised or stupid, it was still a big step for me. I know its what I needed to do for me. But its still scary.
All I know is I HAVE to get another job now.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 11:45:51
In reply to Now I'm wigging out a little bit, posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 4:57:31
Please somebody tell me I'm not completely stupid and I did the right thing. I mean, he was already not speaking to me, so what did I have to lose? I know I'd still be sitting around wishing he would write back even if I hadn't sent that email. At least I took a chance and DID something. So why do I feel like such a pathetic loser?
I wish my friend who knows him would write me back. But I feel bad that I've sent him so many self centered emails already. And I know he's got to be busy or he would have responded by now. In fact, I'm a little worried. I hope he's okay.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 11:49:10
In reply to I need a hug., posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 11:45:51
Radiohead, 'Creep'
When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye.
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather,
in a beautiful world
I wish I was special,
you're so f*cking special.But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so f*cking special,
I wish I was special.But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?.
I don't belong hereShe's running out the door,
she's running,
she run, run, run, run, run.Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you want.
You're so f*cking special,
I wish I was special,but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.
Posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 11:52:14
In reply to Appropriate song lyrics, posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 11:49:10
"It tells the tale of a drunken student who tries to get attention of a woman he's attracted to; in the end, he lacks the self-confidence to pull it off. "
Switch the genders and its me.
-T
Posted by ClearSkies on June 11, 2006, at 12:11:05
In reply to I need a hug., posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 11:45:51
((((TexasChic))))
I would have done the same thing. And felt the same way afterwards and everything.
CS
Posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 12:22:59
In reply to Re: I need a hug. » TexasChic, posted by ClearSkies on June 11, 2006, at 12:11:05
Posted by AuntieMel on June 12, 2006, at 13:44:29
In reply to This is what the writer says about the song, posted by TexasChic on June 11, 2006, at 11:52:14
Posted by TexasChic on June 12, 2006, at 14:01:30
In reply to Re: What ClearSkys said - me too. (nm) » TexasChic, posted by AuntieMel on June 12, 2006, at 13:44:29
Awww, thanks AuntieMel! You never respond to me so its that much more meaningful. I thought you didn't like me.
-T
Posted by AuntieMel on June 12, 2006, at 14:55:11
In reply to Re: What ClearSkys said - me too. » AuntieMel, posted by TexasChic on June 12, 2006, at 14:01:30
How could I not like a fellow Texan?
I'm just a tad on the shy side.
Posted by TexasChic on June 12, 2006, at 17:59:13
In reply to Re: What ClearSkys said - me too. » TexasChic, posted by AuntieMel on June 12, 2006, at 14:55:11
After I wrote that post I thought, that didn't really come out right. I didn't REALLY think you didn't like me but I did kind of wonder a tiny bit. But mostly I figured it was the same as I told curt the other day about how easy it is to misinterprete things in this environment and how you can never tell why a person doesn't respond to you.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 12, 2006, at 18:59:46
In reply to Re: What ClearSkys said - me too. » AuntieMel, posted by TexasChic on June 12, 2006, at 17:59:13
Its going pretty good so far. Today I told her that although I want to primarily concentrate on things I want to improve about myself, for the moment I would rather discuss the stuff at work. So I told her a condensed version from last summer up until what happened Friday and the email I sent cuteboy. She was very sympathetic and said she was proud of me because I did three really good things. Going to HR, talking to my supervisor, and planning the outting with the other people at work.
We were running out of time by the time I got to the confessional email, but she seemed to agree I had nothing to lose and there's no telling what may come of it in the future.
She also showed me a breathing exercise for anxiety, which I really already knew, but the refresher on it was good and she had her own slant to it.
Then she gave me 3 goals to be finished by Sunday. Clean up the part of the living room I need to do yoga, do one of my yoga tapes at least once, and practice the breathing and peaceful visual I'm supposed to come up with.
Also she showed me this flash card that said PROBLEM on it and said when the bitchygirls are bothering me, I'm supposed to visualize that stamped across their face, giving them ownership of the problem.
I think I'm going to like her.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 13, 2006, at 18:55:01
In reply to 2nd therapist visit, posted by TexasChic on June 12, 2006, at 18:59:46
This is part of what he said to me via email:
'Your skills and abilities are well rounded, and will be an asset to a creative department without question. However in the process of interviewing candidates we were able to more closely match our needs with a few other designers. I will keep your resume on hand, just in case, and will be happy to forward your resume on to other hiring managers I know in the area, if you would allow me.'
So I guess that's not a complete and total rejection. I wish I knew what made those others more closely matched. Oh well, this Friday I have the interview with the home office of a major department store. It really is the best opportunity so far. I'm pretty excited about it.
I'm going to go online and study up on some interviewing skills. I also am working on spiffing up my portfolio, which I think just might make 'the' difference.
One thing in my favor, the job involves photography, which I have experience in. I took a black and white photography class at jr college and got an A in it. I can put some of my pictures from my final project in my portfolio. I chose still life as my theme, which my teacher discouraged me about, saying it would be too difficult. But I did it anyway and he loved it. I went out to the country and found this ancient gas station. It worked out really well for black and white photography. Plus my Grandpa had all this junk in his backyard like an old washboard and signs and stuff like that. It was really cool.
One other thing that might look good, I worked at a portrait studio while going to school. So maybe this combination of experience will be my edge, considering not every graphic artist is trained in photography. We'll see.
Today went really well at work (I stayed home yesterday). I felt cheerful and way more okay with everything than I did Friday. My boss told me I will be able to stay over the summer and not go on layoff, which will be better for me money wise. I had told him Friday that I didn't want to stay because the people there were too mean, but I know staying is the smarter choice. Plus we have 4 day weeks over the summer, so it will be a little easier. And now that I'm not so upset, I kind of like the challange of not letting the bitchygirls get me down.
Anyway, I'm rambling, so I'll go now.
-T
Posted by Phillipa on June 13, 2006, at 19:08:22
In reply to Didn't get the 2nd job I interviewed for., posted by TexasChic on June 13, 2006, at 18:55:01
That sounds like a great idea three days off every week!!!!!Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on June 16, 2006, at 14:16:54
In reply to Re: Didn't get the 2nd job I interviewed for. » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on June 13, 2006, at 19:08:22
I just got back from interviewing at the department store's corporate headquarters. It was un-freaking-believable!!! It looks like a college campus! I was literally blown away by the place. I mean, I just can't describe how incredible it was. Inside I felt like I was in the mall or something. A really pretty mall with tons of plants and little areas with cushy chairs and stuff.
I really liked the women I interviewed with too. They seemed to like me, and seemed to think I was qualified, so now I just have to wait and see! The HR lady told me they usually don't do 2nd interviews and I was the last one, so I should find out soon.
I did alot of research on the internet last night about interviewing advice and stuff about the company. I actually impressed them because at the end, when they asked if I had any questions, I actually had some planned out. That was the extent of what I used from all that studying, but being prepared gave me more confidence.
I also had to take these stupid tests. They reminded me of school. They weren't personality tests so much as analytical tests. It had math questions, reasoning, definitions, ect. I think I did all right though.
Oh, and the best part is they promote from within quite frequently it seems. The girl who had this job had gotten promoted. And where you can go is almost endless! There's 4000 people working there!!! This is the first place I've seen that isn't a dead end job. It might actually be a place I would want to stay at until I retire!
I feel really good about it, but I felt really good about last one too, and didn't even get a second interview. That guy DID ask if he could send my resume to a few art directors he knows, so it wasn't complete rejection. If I don't get the one I interviewed for today, maybe I'll at least have some new prospects. But I really want this one!!!
-T
P.S. The HR lady's last name was Seaman. I felt like Chandler in that episode of Friends where he was at an interview and was trying not to make jokes. His guy kept saying 'duty' (doodie). I had to keep saying "Mrs. Seaman" with a straight face! I think mine was worse.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 16, 2006, at 15:00:26
In reply to OMG! I just interviewed at the most awesome place!, posted by TexasChic on June 16, 2006, at 14:16:54
Good Luck Tx!
sounds like you did the best job you could do- I hope they hire you, but if they don't- their loss. I mean that too. You're bright, funny, you write well, and you seem to have a lust for life that would be an asset to any workplaceyay!
-ll
Posted by TexasChic on June 16, 2006, at 15:35:30
In reply to Re: OMG! I just interviewed at the most awesome pl » TexasChic, posted by llrrrpp on June 16, 2006, at 15:00:26
I lust all right, that's for sure! (heh, heh)
No really, thanks. I appreciate the vote of confidence. It will really be just incredible if I get this job. It would be a life altering event!
-T
This is the end of the thread.
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