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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2004, at 9:59:15
That pull me down to the depths? Putting on the social face (today they are telling me to smile), quelling the panic that rises from absolutely nowhere. And time is both dragging and speeding past me, frustrating me in both ways.
I really don't want to have to take a xanax, but I feel like poison right now. I can't tune out my racing thoughts, my hands are trembling, my heart has a huge knot of loneliness in it.
But today, I don't feel like crying. That is something, I guess.
Posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 12:07:57
In reply to What is it about Mondays..., posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2004, at 9:59:15
I never want to get out of bed on Mondays. I guess its just the anticipation of having the week spread out before me. The weather here is pretty blah too, which doesn't help. But I'm better than I have been (not crying either!).
So who's telling you to smile? Yourself or the people you work with? It sounds like the people you work with can be annoying sometimes. That probably has something to do with the panic. Whenever I've been at a job I didn't like, I'd get that panicky feeling too. I would live for the weekends, which made Mondays almost unbearable. Do you have something to look forward to today? Sometimes it helps to have a little reward for getting through the day.
I hope you feel better. You know we're all rooting for you!
Posted by B2chica on May 10, 2004, at 12:19:31
In reply to What is it about Mondays..., posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2004, at 9:59:15
Man, do i know EXACTLY how you feel. I Hate mondays. not like everyone else that misses the weekend, cuz weekends are mostly very hard for me, but i think it is that social thing...smile...be friendly...be chipper or they'll cock their head and say "are you doin ok?"
-i also can't get organized or motivated at work so i always feel i'm a major failure on mondays.-Time is mostly dragging for me.
i wish the xanax even helped me..they have me on such a low dose...it does NOTHING even with two or three.
-i don't want to be at work but i don't want to be home...i don't what to be anywhere, but i don't want to be nowhere... talk about f#*&ing with a girls head.
trembling? well since i've started these meds (that mostly work) i've gained a permanent hand tremor.
And the lonliness, it envelops you(me) like a cape of hollowness and ache.i don't feel like crying either...infact i haven't been able to cry lately, even at things i should...i don't know if i'm cold or just numb.
PLease take care partlycloudy. it's not much but know i understand.
B2c.
Posted by Angela2 on May 10, 2004, at 12:22:49
In reply to What is it about Mondays..., posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2004, at 9:59:15
Any day where I can't spend it at home is a bit uncomfortable to me. Even though I had my own apartment this year, I spent a lot of time at home. Because the apartment with my 3 roomates just didn't feel comfortable. I know what you mean about the panicky feeling and not liking your job!
Posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2004, at 12:23:09
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays..., posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 12:07:57
You know what I am looking forward to? Making fish tacos for dinner. (The people I work with try to be nice but when I am down everyone feels it. Plus when you count the number of times I have broken down and cried there; well, I'd be nervous too if you couldn't get a smile out of me!)
This Monday was worse than normal because I had a hideous weekend. I was unknowingly over-caffinated Saturday morning, and I went completly manic. I get very agitated and angry and yelled at my husband when he interrupted my attempt at meditation. I feel like I wasted 48 hours of my life.
I guess the really good news is that the day is half over.
Thanks, TexasChick.
Posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 13:02:34
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays... » TexasChic, posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2004, at 12:23:09
On my 6 month Lexapro stint I cried all the time at work! It was horrible! And in that time I was just becoming good friends with a girl at work, so she probably thinks I'm psycho, but she's been very supportive anyway. It helps to have friends at work, but I know how it is not to. :-(
Some days you just can't be all cheery and everything, and that's okay. You just have to be yourself and try to forget about what everyone else thinks. I know, easier said than done, but its something to strive for anyway.
Hang in there!
Posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 13:14:44
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays..., posted by B2chica on May 10, 2004, at 12:19:31
Hi B2chica, I don't think I've ever talked to you before. I know what you mean about having to be social at work. Luckily, I have a job where I sit behind a computer and can go without talking to anyone for quite a while. When I worked in retail it was awful ... having to fake smile and sound cheery and everything. Some people have no problem with that, but I know I do.
I have trouble being organized and motivated too. I try to prepare on Friday so that I can just go right into some brainless work when I get in on Monday. Otherwise I wouldn't do anything.
So what meds are you on? They might be the reason you haven't been able to cry. They can do that sometimes.
Your discription of how lonliness feels is so apt. I feel that way alot myself. But at least we have Babble! I know it helps me alot.
Hang in there! You're not alone.
Posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 13:21:03
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays..., posted by Angela2 on May 10, 2004, at 12:22:49
I know what you mean about not being comfortable at your own place. I've had a similar problem lately. I've been avoiding going home for so long now. But I'm about to move out into my own apartment. I can't wait! I know I may get lonely, but I still can't wait. I've never lived alone before and its like a scary new adventure. I have to get past the moving part of it first though, which I'm dreading. Ick.
Posted by Penny on May 10, 2004, at 13:22:57
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays...Angela2, posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 13:21:03
I was just thinking this weekend about how wonderful it is to live ALONE. Well, alone with my dogs, cat, fish and frog. :-b But seriously - to be able to go home and just ... well ... do whatever you want to do, b/c you don't have to think about anyone else. I relish my alone time.
P
Posted by Penny on May 10, 2004, at 13:25:35
In reply to What is it about Mondays..., posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2004, at 9:59:15
Sigh.
(((Partly)))
Mondays suck, IMHO. I worked all weekend (we had commencement at my university, and I had to take pictures and do the programs and whatnot for my department), so it feels like the week never ended. I want to sleep - maybe I'll leave early today.
Well - the day's nearly over. And tomorrow's a new day - hopefully it will be better.
And if they tell you to smile, tell them to shove it.
P
Posted by B2chica on May 10, 2004, at 13:34:55
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays...B2chica, posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 13:14:44
Hi TexasChic
For the most part i run a lab and typically it's just me and a part time student (who is great-doesn't need handholding or conversation).-Luckily! However there are many days where i need to train and do interventions with students or faculty and the equipment they are running, and there's something about them that it's like they NEED stupid conversation to breathe. Can't stand it. Bipolar or no bipolar i'm not a real social person._You know that is a REALLY great idea to prepare a task(s) for monday the friday before...i think that would really help me..THANKS
Meds: xanax, WellbutrinXL, Trileptal, Seroquel, strattera(for adhd).
Although to be honest this last week i've been forgetting to take the wellbutrin. i've missed probably about four days (i know...i know...)but even before that it's been that way.i think the therapy is messin me up a abit, it's just so hard for me to go. once i go that night and the next day i think of 100 things i want to talk about so i write them down, then about three or four days after, i analyze what i wrote and convince myself it's petty and not important at all, then by the day before my appt i say i don't even know why i'm going, i have nothing to talk about, i don't need therapy. Then the day of i usually freeze up and can't say anything even if i bring the writings in with me.
i feel like such a dork!-thanks for letting me babble on babble.
B2c.
> Hi B2chica, I don't think I've ever talked to you before. I know what you mean about having to be social at work. Luckily, I have a job where I sit behind a computer and can go without talking to anyone for quite a while. When I worked in retail it was awful ... having to fake smile and sound cheery and everything. Some people have no problem with that, but I know I do.
> I have trouble being organized and motivated too. I try to prepare on Friday so that I can just go right into some brainless work when I get in on Monday. Otherwise I wouldn't do anything.
> So what meds are you on? They might be the reason you haven't been able to cry. They can do that sometimes.
> Your discription of how lonliness feels is so apt. I feel that way alot myself. But at least we have Babble! I know it helps me alot.
> Hang in there! You're not alone.
Posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 13:55:07
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays...B2chica » TexasChic, posted by B2chica on May 10, 2004, at 13:34:55
I've missed the last few days of my Wellbutrin too. I can definitely tell the difference, it really helps motivate me when I take it. Now if only there was something to motivate me to pick up that prescription ........
Posted by finelinebob on May 10, 2004, at 14:08:34
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays...B2chica, posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 13:55:07
Feel free to hate me, throw marshmallows at me or whatever, folks, but I LIKE Mondays ... =^P
Well, I used to, when I had a job. Any chance to spend time with people other than myself. When I was a kid, I always hated the start of summer vacation and couldn't wait for school to start up, too. More proof I must be "mentally ill", eh?
;^)
flb
Posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 14:13:16
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays..., posted by finelinebob on May 10, 2004, at 14:08:34
Nah, everybody's different. I don't even know if I believe in the term "mentally ill" anymore. It should be "mental differences".
Posted by B2chica on May 10, 2004, at 14:21:47
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays..., posted by finelinebob on May 10, 2004, at 14:08:34
> Feel free to hate me, throw marshmallows at me or whatever, folks, but I LIKE Mondays ... =^P
mmmmm marshmallows...
Posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 14:24:57
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays...B2chica » TexasChic, posted by B2chica on May 10, 2004, at 13:34:55
I meant to include this on my other post. It sounds like you're putting too much pressure on yourself when it comes to your therapy. When I go to therapy I *never* prepare. She usually asks how I've been and I just start with whatever comes out of my mouth. Usually whatever is bothering me most is what surfaces first. I don't feel I have to make any tremendous headway every time. Sometimes I leave having talked about pratically nothing. (One day I spent almost the entire time talking about why I love the show Buffy). But I know I need the regular 'maintenance' to keep me on track, so I don't worry about it. Its all in the way you perceive it. Anyway, that's my philosophy for what its worth.
Posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2004, at 14:30:50
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays..., posted by finelinebob on May 10, 2004, at 14:08:34
I hated summers too but that was because I was a total nerd and couldn't wait to see who my new teachers would be.
Whew! My Monday has 1/2 an hour of work left to it, so my mood is improving. And I managed to get this far without a xanax, and THAT, my friends, is a small victory.
Posted by B2chica on May 10, 2004, at 14:35:26
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays...finelinebob, posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 14:13:16
> Nah, everybody's different. I don't even know if I believe in the term "mentally ill" anymore. It should be "mental differences".
Very Well Said!
I Agree 100% afterall- mentally ill, sounds as though the way we think and feel isn't "normal". It is, it's just more intense than others. to me that's a difference not an illnes!I'll take my bipolar anyday.
One thing that Really pissed me off right after i got my Dx, the first psychologist i went to said that my "ideals" of being able to change my corner of the world are part of being bipolar...that people just don't think that way.well what's wrong with that? so what if i want to change the world and make it better, and actually think i can? so what if i want to help everyone? i think it'd be a much better world if we all were a little less judge"mental" and a little more caring and giving.
Infact...on THAT note, i have NEVER, EVER met such a caring, giving, non-judging, Full of LIFE and hopeful, sharing, AMAZING group of people as i've met here at Babble!! Everyone is Wonderful! So tell me, if what i've seen on this site isn't normal? than i think this entire WORLD should STRIVE for abnormality!!!
-sorry for the rant...m2c.
B2c.
Posted by B2chica on May 10, 2004, at 14:38:17
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays... » finelinebob, posted by partlycloudy on May 10, 2004, at 14:30:50
> Whew! My Monday has 1/2 an hour of work left to it, so my mood is improving. And I managed to get this far without a xanax, and THAT, my friends, is a small victory.
Congrats on not needing a xanax!
-i too only have about 15 min left, i got me one of them..."meetings" this afternoon.B2c.
Posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 15:35:19
In reply to Re: What is it about Mondays...texaschic, posted by B2chica on May 10, 2004, at 14:35:26
> One thing that Really pissed me off right after i got my Dx, the first psychologist i went to said that my "ideals" of being able to change my corner of the world are part of being bipolar...that people just don't think that way. >
That's weird, I wonder why he thought having ideals about changing the world would be anything other than 'normal'. Does that mean 'normal' means being apathetic? If it weren't for people wanting to change the world, where would we be now? Living like cavemen?
Could it be that maybe we are just more in-tune to things, which, although overwhelming at times, enables us to care and sympathize more acutely than the average person? Wouldn't it be interesting to know how many of the people who have changed the world were suffering from a (so called) mental illness?> Infact...on THAT note, i have NEVER, EVER met such a caring, giving, non-judging, Full of LIFE and hopeful, sharing, AMAZING group of people as i've met here at Babble!! Everyone is Wonderful! So tell me, if what i've seen on this site isn't normal? than i think this entire WORLD should STRIVE for abnormality!!!>
I agree completely!
This is the end of the thread.
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