![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 12 to 36 of 36. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 17:05:12
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » muffled, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 16:59:24
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031114/msgs/280540.html
Hmmm... I may have forgotten the specifics, but I got the overall picture right.
What a jerk.
Posted by Midnightblue on November 4, 2008, at 18:54:05
In reply to Well, at least, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 12:04:59
Dinah,
Hadn't he at some point hinted that he and his wife were separating? Maybe it was a way of saying they weren't?
MB
Posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 19:01:37
In reply to Re: Well, at least » Dinah, posted by Midnightblue on November 4, 2008, at 18:54:05
I can only speculate of course. But I imagine it had something to do with his personal situation, not his relationship with me. I hope all is well with them.
And I think that may be why my reaction is so strong this evening. I'm building a monster of what ifs on a slim bit of knowledge.
All I'm saying about his inability to help me in some ways is true. But I think my obsession with it tonight has as much to do with my fear of having so many eggs in such a fragile basket.
Posted by Phillipa on November 4, 2008, at 20:09:13
In reply to Re: Well, at least » Midnightblue, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 19:01:37
Dinah think you need sleep. So you can be a brat too? Nice to have company as boy I can be one at home!!!! Love Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on November 5, 2008, at 19:13:08
In reply to Re: Well, at least » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on November 4, 2008, at 20:09:13
When something bad happened at work today, I reached out to my therapist like a toddler lifting its arms to mommy after a fall.
:(
It's not that he said anything terribly reassuring, and certainly he didn't make me feel better in that way. Yet his bracing words were oddly helpful.
My son is really amazing. I wasn't even thinking of any of that, and I'd had some risperdal, yet as he stepped into the car he asked me what was wrong. Just like I do. Obviously being semipsyschic is more a matter of genetics than training. At least I hope I've given him no reason to learn to do that.
Posted by muffled on November 5, 2008, at 22:28:54
In reply to And yet..., posted by Dinah on November 5, 2008, at 19:13:08
> When something bad happened at work today, I reached out to my therapist like a toddler lifting its arms to mommy after a fall.
>
> :(*why the frownie?, that was a nice pic :-)
> It's not that he said anything terribly reassuring, and certainly he didn't make me feel better in that way. Yet his bracing words were oddly helpful.* my old T was like that (((T)))
> My son is really amazing. I wasn't even thinking of any of that, and I'd had some risperdal, yet as he stepped into the car he asked me what was wrong. Just like I do. Obviously being semipsyschic is more a matter of genetics than training. At least I hope I've given him no reason to learn to do that.* proly genetic, which makes you the best Mom for him, cuz you can help him with it, cuz it a tough way to be at times I expect.
(((Dinah)))Muffled
Posted by muffled on November 5, 2008, at 22:31:05
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » muffled, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 16:59:24
> lol
>
> Clearly there are some things about me that never change.
>
> I was notorious at school for liking some teachers, and setting out to be helpful and charming and appealing, etc.
>
> But with teachers I didn't feel were qualified, I was very subtly challenging, rude, scornful, and did my best to make utter fools of them by showing how little they knew. I guess I was relatively subtle, because I met one of them (the one I behaved most badly to) years later and chatted with him. He remembered me clearly, but not at all in the same terms I remember. He thought I was a terrific student to have! Interested, engaged, etc. lol.
>
> I'm still that obnoxious brat, I guess, with authority figures.*maybe you not so obnoxious.....mebbe you INTERESTING!
:-)
Posted by muffled on November 5, 2008, at 22:46:51
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » muffled, posted by Dinah on November 4, 2008, at 16:52:22
>"It's really hard to understand. I may be nice here on babble, and I may even be nice enough in social situations. But I'm *not* nice in therapy. I rely more on how they "feel" than how they look or what they say. But I also need someone who is just the right amount of pushy, someone with a large serving of tact (even if I can see through it), someone smart, someone with a bit of humor, someone willing to wait for me to be ready. And I'm not at all nice with therapists I don't like. I don't necessarily mean I'm confrontational, but I can be as intolerant as I used to be with teachers. I can definitely be challenging. I can be scornful."
*my T says she wants to know all of me, not just the nice parts. She one day said in response to something else, she say I bet you've got some choice names for me!(meaning NOT so nice!!!LOL!)
She know I got parts what REALLY not like her.
But she still work w/me. S'ok.
Mebbe you and your T need to do some good old CBT stuff bout some of your notions bout yourself. Many have a grain of truth which makes them very beleivable, but chances are they are somewhat distorted.
My oldT used to call me challenging(proly thot a whole lots worse stuff but wouldn't SAY it!!!LOL!!!)>"I'm not saying there could never be anyone else. But I'd probably have to go through the entire phone book, and even then my chances wouldn't be great. I'm just not at all nice as a client."
*ummmm? where in the book of T does it say a client must be nice????I know some people who are VERY challenging for their T's, but thats what T is THERE for, to help the figger stuff, good or bad. I was mostly (sorta) nice to old T, I am not making much of an effort to be friendly to new T.
I think you might find a T that would do, and WITH TIME could be every bit as good as your T, dare I say, possibly even better, if not as much fun!>"And the chances of finding someone with the qualifications I would need for my specific problem? We're talking minute teensy chance then."
Ummmm, you try finding a T w/experience in DD's...ugh, NOT so easy.
>"I do know that he can't help me with some of my stuff. I just don't quite know what to do about it."
*well, in my situation, I looked for another T. I was lucky with my second try. She not all that I would want, but I think with time we can adapt to one another. I really had gone as far as I could go w/oldT, as far as she was willing to go. She was still a strong support to me, but I needed to move ahead and she couldn't do that for me. We tried. We bith did, but I just got tired of the frustration and finally moved on.
I cannot tell you what the answers are Dinah.
Just that it sure wasn't easy for me, but I think I made the right decision.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by Dinah on November 6, 2008, at 8:26:04
In reply to Re: And yet..., posted by muffled on November 5, 2008, at 22:28:54
Well, the frownie was for what happened at work. I got fussed at, and while intellectually I think I am reasonably ok with it and just wish to try to do better, my emotional self is battling feelings of being a bad girl and wanting to punish myself in various and somewhat improbable ways. I never have been able to tolerate being a bad girl, or being fussed at.
Posted by Dinah on November 6, 2008, at 8:32:25
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE, posted by muffled on November 5, 2008, at 22:31:05
Well, when I looked back and found the posts from biofeedback guy days, I realized I had remembered it slightly differently than how it happened. I suppose I wanted to allow myself more power in the interaction.
What happened was more an attack from him from the very first day on my therapist and then later on me. I really do think he was trying to shock me into some realization or another. Now my memory has been restored, I recall that I really wanted to do this so was behaving very well. I may have been defensive. (Well who wouldn't be if someone started out by calling my therapist narcissistic for absolutely no reason but the length of our therapy.) But I wasn't aggressive.
It was all rather pathetic really.
All in all it's no wonder I don't want to look again. I have the distinct feeling that therapists wouldn't like me, as well as vice versa.
I don't think I'm disappointed enough with my therapist to want to face that. I'd rather be afraid of vomit forever.
Posted by muffled on November 6, 2008, at 8:54:28
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » muffled, posted by Dinah on November 6, 2008, at 8:32:25
Just a thot.
Its been explored and thats good enuf.
Back to that lovely T of yours :)
((((T)))
((((Dinah)))
Sides I love hearing bout you guys.
I'd miss that.
Muffled
Posted by DAisym on November 8, 2008, at 23:45:01
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » muffled, posted by Dinah on November 6, 2008, at 8:32:25
I've been thinking about this thread a lot. I wonder if you've reached that stage that resembles the one where teens are disappointed in their parents - because they figure out they are human. It makes sense that the therapy relationship evolve along those lines - discovering the limitations of the person you love and trust - knowing that no one is perfect and no one can fill a person's every need.
I think acceptance of these limitations with graceful disappointment is a huge feat. You are to be commended for knowing what you want and knowing what is more important than getting it. I think this is very "adult-like" behavior. I wish I could do the same.
I also hope you find a way to lessen your phobia too.
Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2008, at 14:50:55
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » Dinah, posted by DAisym on November 8, 2008, at 23:45:01
Thanks for not using the "G" word! Or is it words?
I don't know... My feelings about my therapist have always been very mixed, and I think I've always been relatively critical of his weaknesses, so I doubt that I ever saw him as perfect.
And I'm not always that graceful in my disappointment. :)
I suppose the difference might be... I don't know... I love him more now as a person and not just as my therapist/mommy? So that the weaknesses don't bring as much anger as they used to, and more affectionate caring?
I guess I do miss the old days. I didn't think he was perfect but I did have a greater belief in his magic. Although I still manage to hold on to that.
But... I still wish he'd try to stretch to meet my needs. Isn't that his job?
Ah well. If he's not willing, he wouldn't be all that good at it anyway. And he's clear that he's not that willing.
Posted by DAisym on November 9, 2008, at 19:16:47
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » DAisym, posted by Dinah on November 9, 2008, at 14:50:55
Is it possible that he might be afraid of disappointing you? That it isn't that he isn't willing, he just doesn't want your expectations to be so high? My therapist has done this to me, when I want him to promise something will be OK and he says things like "I hope" instead of "I'm sure."
I think you need to begin with baby steps and perhaps wonder if this isn't an bit of resistance to tackling something really hard. Are you both colluding not to tackle this? Just a thought, I know it isn't easy.
Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2008, at 20:11:06
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » Dinah, posted by DAisym on November 9, 2008, at 19:16:47
I suspect it's a mixture. He was really gung ho about looking into the desensitization there for a session or two. He saw the phobia as the key to so much in my history, and he's right. I suspect he thought if he could solve one, he could solve all, and I don't think he was right about that.
But, and I mean this in the most loving way possible, the phlegmatic nature that I so need in some ways carries the negative side effect of leading him to laziness sometimes.
I also know he really doesn't like to challenge me. He says I bite.
Perhaps most importantly, I talked to him about my fears that I'd associate him with vomit, and that doing desensitization with him might interfere with his remaining a safe base. I think he didn't like *that* at all. I asked him if he'd be angry if I started doing it, and then quit desensitization. He said no, but he would be angry if I started doing it then told him it ruined our therapeutic relationship and I couldn't see him anymore.
I think that reluctance, coupled with his phlegmatic disposition and his real life preoccupations led him to first "forget" the topic, and now really be actively against it.
And... Hmmmmm....
Not sure if I should admit this, but I think he likes our relationship as it is and is as reluctant to endanger it as I am. I mean, what's not to like? I adore him and let him know it. I don't bother him overmuch between sessions. I'm a stable source of positive regard for him as much as he is for me, and I pay him to boot! Aside from my demanding a lot from him in session, well.... what's not to like?
So yeah, I think we both collude in not running any risk of messing things up. And yes, I do tell him I think that. :) But I put it so nicely he probably thinks it's a compliment. And it kind of is.
Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2008, at 21:06:56
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » DAisym, posted by Dinah on November 9, 2008, at 20:11:06
Sigh. I suppose I'll quit guessing and start asking.
It won't change the outcome, he's been pretty clear on that. But at least I ought to know *why* he suddenly changed his attitude. For sure why, not what I think why.
Posted by DAisym on November 11, 2008, at 18:32:52
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE, posted by Dinah on November 9, 2008, at 21:06:56
So...did you? And if yes, how did it go? I want to post to you below to but can't let you off the hook here. :)
I still want to trade therapists at some point, if only for a session or two. I just love your therapist - he always makes me smile. I think he'd be fun to chat with. :)
Posted by Dinah on November 11, 2008, at 22:20:51
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » Dinah, posted by DAisym on November 11, 2008, at 18:32:52
> I still want to trade therapists at some point, if only for a session or two. I just love your therapist - he always makes me smile. I think he'd be fun to chat with. :)
I'm certainly game. I'm pretty sure he is too. :)
I wouldn't quite say he's fascinated with Babblers, but he certainly interested in them. He's been really impressed by your insights. He's jealous of your therapist. I mentioned something about how everyone loves your therapist, and he expectantly asked what everyone thought of him. I ended up saying that I thought people loved our relationship, and while he was happy with that I still think he's jealous of your therapist.
I think I was hoping no one would remember to ask. In his defense, I must confess that I didn't mention it until the last ten minutes, and we covered a lot in that ten minutes so I clearly pushed him past the deliberate pace he prefers. It wasn't our finest ten minutes and may have been a showcase of the worst aspects of our relationship.
His initial response to my question was to look a whole lot like my son when I walk in the room and find him reaching to turn off the TV and pick up his homework. He muttered something unconvincing about being distracted by other things. He was so unconvincing that I'm still not sure he remembered what the heck I was talking about at first.
I pressed him a bit, making sure to give memory jogs, and he said that he wasn't sure how to go about getting vomit, or if he wanted to. A bit better, but I reminded him that the treatment plan suggested didn't actually mention real vomit. I told him that I'd noticed the change in his attitude came when I was talking about being afraid it would influence our relationship or that I would associate him with vomit. I told him that while I thought he generally had the detachment needed to help me with my problems, it occurred to me to wonder if he had the same detachment when it came to disruptions in the therapeutic relationship. He fell on this with almost too much relief and acknowledged the possibility that he wasn't really objective in this, and that if there was an aversion reaction (I think that was what he said) he didn't want to be caught in it. I asked him whether, in the extremely unlikely case that I could find someone in the vast expanse of New Orleans who I thought I could get along with and who had the expertise in this, would he object to my using one of my two sessions a week seeing another therapist. I added a lot of my fears that this would be unlikely and my concerns about this being a long term proposition. His candor was endearing I suppose. He said that if anyone was going to be vomit guy, he'd prefer it not be him. And he reflected on how he would feel if another therapist fixed my problems and became the hero. We rounded off this ten minutes by my suggestion of the possibility that even though I complained about his liking of the status quo and that he didn't seem to like to push me or to challenge me, that I really actually liked this and preferred not to use one of my sessions a week being pushed and challenged. He said that we had spoken before about the dilemma of his pushing/not pushing. I laughed and reminded him that he'd told me I bite. And he said, yes, I did. With the most sincerity that I'd heard from him in the whole ten minutes.
I swear to you that this was far from the normal standard of therapy. I really think I pushed him off balance and kept him there. I certainly wasn't at my best. Maybe a bit anxious? A lot of what I was asking him were trick questions with no really good answer, and he had to balance the answers he would give to emotional me versus the answers he would give to rational me. It really is a minefield, and I freely admit that.
The end result is that I am left unsure of what is going on. He was so clearly uncomfortable that it messed up my perceptions a bit. He was clearly less than completely honest at times, and clearly happy to agree with other things I said. But was he happy because I was right? Or because he thought it was taking him off the hook for whatever he felt guilty about? I led the witness way too much, and I didn't ask enough questions that he had to answer in his own words. Too many multiple choice and true/false. Not nearly enough essay questions. :)
I don't know if you were able to sift any of that out. The predominant feeling I left with was disbelief that he was afraid that seeing another therapist would change my attachment to him. Does he really think that I'll see another therapist and have my eyes opened to his flaws and inadequacies? That I'll find out he isn't as wonderful as I think he is? Wait! Isn't that my role in the relationship? Silly man. As if I don't already know his flaws and inadequacies. As if love ends that easily. As if imprinting could be overwritten by another duck even if it swam faster or caught more fish.
But I'm not sure that is the right impression to walk away with or if I'm totally off the mark. It went too fast.
Posted by Dinah on November 12, 2008, at 3:55:32
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » DAisym, posted by Dinah on November 11, 2008, at 22:20:51
Actually I think I shouldn't have posted any of that, because my recollections are just too confused.
Not only was it rushed and pressured, but I had woken up with a headache, and came home and fell asleep. I was just planning to close my eyes for a second, but I slept a while. So given that the my memories of the encounter just don't sound like my therapy, I wonder how much I'm just not remembering right. Or that I'm remembering without nuance or tone of voice. Sometimes trying to hold onto the actual words isn't the best route.
So let's go back to I'm not sure, and I'm not sure he's sure either.
Posted by DAisym on November 12, 2008, at 23:07:56
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » DAisym, posted by Dinah on November 11, 2008, at 22:20:51
> I still want to trade therapists at some point, if only for a session or two. I just love your therapist - he always makes me smile. I think he'd be fun to chat with. :)
I'm certainly game. I'm pretty sure he is too. :)
I wouldn't quite say he's fascinated with Babblers, but he certainly interested in them. He's been really impressed by your insights. He's jealous of your therapist. I mentioned something about how everyone loves your therapist, and he expectantly asked what everyone thought of him. I ended up saying that I thought people loved our relationship, and while he was happy with that I still think he's jealous of your therapist.
***It is funny when I talk about Babble sometimes - I get the feeling that my therapist worries that I want him to be able to do everything everyone else's therapist can do - like EMDR. I tell him a lot that we all arrive at the same conclusion - what works for one person would not work for another. He likes when I can pose questions here and get feedback from "peers" as he says. Like asking about sex - he had been trying to tell me that he sees a lot of couples that struggle with their sex life and there is no csa - so while it is different for me, it isn't unusual for it to be a tricky thing. He felt that the responses from Babble were more convincing than he could be.
I think I was hoping no one would remember to ask. In his defense, I must confess that I didn't mention it until the last ten minutes, and we covered a lot in that ten minutes so I clearly pushed him past the deliberate pace he prefers. It wasn't our finest ten minutes and may have been a showcase of the worst aspects of our relationship.
****Sorry - sometimes things just stay with me. Other times...
His initial response to my question was to look a whole lot like my son when I walk in the room and find him reaching to turn off the TV and pick up his homework. He muttered something unconvincing about being distracted by other things. He was so unconvincing that I'm still not sure he remembered what the heck I was talking about at first.
*****I hate that. I never want to believe that my stuff could get mixed up with another patient's stuff.
I pressed him a bit, making sure to give memory jogs, and he said that he wasn't sure how to go about getting vomit, or if he wanted to. A bit better, but I reminded him that the treatment plan suggested didn't actually mention real vomit. I told him that I'd noticed the change in his attitude came when I was talking about being afraid it would influence our relationship or that I would associate him with vomit. I told him that while I thought he generally had the detachment needed to help me with my problems, it occurred to me to wonder if he had the same detachment when it came to disruptions in the therapeutic relationship. He fell on this with almost too much relief and acknowledged the possibility that he wasn't really objective in this, and that if there was an aversion reaction (I think that was what he said) he didn't want to be caught in it.
*****I can see this but I still think you gave him the out. After all this time, he should know that your relationship can withstand just about anything. And I would think exploring this from your safe base would make it less likely that you would develop an aversion to him - maybe therapy over all for a while - but not him.
I asked him whether, in the extremely unlikely case that I could find someone in the vast expanse of New Orleans who I thought I could get along with and who had the expertise in this, would he object to my using one of my two sessions a week seeing another therapist. I added a lot of my fears that this would be unlikely and my concerns about this being a long term proposition. His candor was endearing I suppose. He said that if anyone was going to be vomit guy, he'd prefer it not be him. And he reflected on how he would feel if another therapist fixed my problems and became the hero. We rounded off this ten minutes by my suggestion of the possibility that even though I complained about his liking of the status quo and that he didn't seem to like to push me or to challenge me, that I really actually liked this and preferred not to use one of my sessions a week being pushed and challenged. He said that we had spoken before about the dilemma of his pushing/not pushing. I laughed and reminded him that he'd told me I bite. And he said, yes, I did. With the most sincerity that I'd heard from him in the whole ten minutes
*****I know you bite sometimes. But I guess I think that he is supposed to keep things safe enough for you to do that and not have it destroy the therapy. I worry about my anger a lot but my therapist keeps reassuring me that he won't let the transference get so far out of hand that it would derail everything we've done. I do like that your therapist was willing to admit that it would feel rotten to have someone else be the hero. That's admirable honest.
I swear to you that this was far from the normal standard of therapy. I really think I pushed him off balance and kept him there. I certainly wasn't at my best. Maybe a bit anxious? A lot of what I was asking him were trick questions with no really good answer, and he had to balance the answers he would give to emotional me versus the answers he would give to rational me. It really is a minefield, and I freely admit that.
*****Again - you are suppose to push him on occasion. It keeps him on his toes! It is important, I think, that he is reminded that you still need him to be thoughtful and to manage some of your anxiety. I doubt they were trick questions, but rather complicated ones. There are no easy answers to this stuff.
The end result is that I am left unsure of what is going on. He was so clearly uncomfortable that it messed up my perceptions a bit. He was clearly less than completely honest at times, and clearly happy to agree with other things I said. But was he happy because I was right? Or because he thought it was taking him off the hook for whatever he felt guilty about? I led the witness way too much, and I didn't ask enough questions that he had to answer in his own words. Too many multiple choice and true/false. Not nearly enough essay questions. :)
*****Probably a bit of all of the above. I think he does need to explain his thinking without your prompting. And you need to try and hear what he says, even if his guilt makes you feel bad. I don't think it is that you don't want to work hard, or that he doesn't want to work hard. I think it is hard to risk a rupture, which is what you are clearly doing.
I don't know if you were able to sift any of that out. The predominant feeling I left with was disbelief that he was afraid that seeing another therapist would change my attachment to him. Does he really think that I'll see another therapist and have my eyes opened to his flaws and inadequacies? That I'll find out he isn't as wonderful as I think he is? Wait! Isn't that my role in the relationship? Silly man. As if I don't already know his flaws and inadequacies. As if love ends that easily. As if imprinting could be overwritten by another duck even if it swam faster or caught more fish.
****I didn't get that from what you wrote above. I can't believe that he isn't aware of how strong your connection is and how attached you are *despite* his flaws. I think the issue is that you keep him as balanced as he keeps you, in some ways. So to stress things on purpose might seem less than desirable. Kind of like rocking a boat on purpose, even if the objective is to get it to shore. The destination is desirable, as long as you don't fall out and drown trying to get there.
But I'm not sure that is the right impression to walk away with or if I'm totally off the mark. It went too fast.
********My therapist is fond of telling me that "truth" during therapy sessions is less important that the feelings we are left with. If I hear him say something, and he says he didn't say it - then we can argue about one thing. If I hear him say something and he wonders why I heard it that way, we get more work done. I'm sure this is one of those sessions that will lead to other important discussions.
Posted by Dinah on November 13, 2008, at 9:40:35
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » Dinah, posted by DAisym on November 12, 2008, at 23:07:56
I shouldn't have brought it up so late in the session. And something made me anxious enough to push through it. So I think I discount everything I "remember". I might be remembering a word here or there, but the only thing I'm sure of is that he felt uncomfortable.
I probably filtered everything else through that, and so that is the only thing I can really be sure I know. I know I can distort things when I'm feeling anxious.
So I think I'll start over again sometime.
However, things are still unfolding at work, and I'm really stressed. I'm up to a steady diet of Risperdal now. I suspect the next long while will be spent propping me up so I can work in spite of the anxiety. Because I have a habit of falling apart under stress.
Posted by muffled on November 13, 2008, at 9:48:44
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » DAisym, posted by Dinah on November 13, 2008, at 9:40:35
Can you imagine in your head, like a visualization, that us babblers is there for you? Like a hedge of protection round you?
So when you get stressed, can you go in your head, to a nice cosy place and know we there for you?
You can ask for caring and comfort and know we accept you even if you being a screaming meemie? Cuz we like ALLA who you is?
May be we have tea there....
Just a thot.
M
Posted by Dinah on November 13, 2008, at 11:46:56
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » Dinah, posted by muffled on November 13, 2008, at 9:48:44
:-)
Thanks, Muffled.
I always tend to freeze cognitively when I get upset. That's why I try to let my bosses handle the difficult communications. And fortunately with them I'm able to tell even the most impatient of them "I'm getting upset and I am not going to be able to help you until we step back a bit and look at this calmly." And they know me well enough to know it's the God's honest truth, and that I'm doing my best to stay helpful.
My therapist says something about regressing to a preverbal state. I don't know about that. I think it more as freezing.
It's good to be in a place where people do understand how I am sometimes. And accept me. :) Babble is a very strong leg on my support stool.
Posted by Dinah on November 13, 2008, at 11:48:24
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » muffled, posted by Dinah on November 13, 2008, at 11:46:56
well, sometimes it seems less like confusion and more like losing my words. But this time I had lots of words, and just didn't have time to put everything together. Life is much easier when the words match the rest of the communication.
Posted by Dinah on November 14, 2008, at 13:31:21
In reply to Re: A bit of a RAMBLE » DAisym, posted by Dinah on November 13, 2008, at 9:40:35
Any of the conversation. He asked when it was he said this. Last session, Tuesday. :)
But he did remember something else I said in the same session enough to bring it up himself. I said "*That* you remember!"
Ah well.
This is the end of the thread.
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