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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 7:12:21
Well today my therapist and I aired all the past hurts and it feels like we started over or started at a good place. He addressed all the bad I put in my email to him saying all the stuff like, do you still want to be my t, do you regret taking me on, etc. He told me that he does feel like he can help me. That it is up to him to make therapy a safe place for me. He is committed to making me well. That my increased level of dissociation is normal for what we are getting into. That the stuff we are getting into is actually dangerous for me. It is a whole new way of life for me to try and blend everyone. That he hope I will get to a place where dissociation won't be necessary and everyone will see it one day. We discussed alot and yet managed to keep it light enough that I only dissociated once on him. And this time I managed to remain with him versus going away entirely. We talk about that. We talked about how he looks puzzled and how he is sleepy sometimes. He has trouble sleeping at night but that isn't because he is bored (my take). He wants me to tell him immediately anything that makes me uncomfortable not to stew.
So all in all, it was a good session that helped me see he is committed. He said I do see you getting the kind of life you deserve. I have had patients I don't think I can help and that is frustating to a therapist. I see your pain and what to help you through it. You have been through so much it is time to get it out and end it. He said it won't be easy for you though. It will be tough. But we need to, no I need to do things to help you in here feel safe. So we talked about that. I asked him alot of questions and feel better about the answers.rsk
Posted by ClearSkies on February 12, 2008, at 8:43:38
In reply to Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 7:12:21
It sounds like a lot of questions and doubts were clarified and hopefully swept out of the way. You may need to revisit some of those issues along the way for reassurance, but I don't interpret this as a "starting over" session as much as a clearing of the air. Very hopeful and encouraging. It takes solid foundations in order to do solid work, yes? And you're building those now. That's excellent!
CS
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 9:28:46
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch » rskontos, posted by ClearSkies on February 12, 2008, at 8:43:38
Thanks Clear Skies, and welcome back from your sabbatical. Yes, I think you are right. It is more a clearing of the air. And I, don't doubt, that we will need to re-visit this from time to time. And for once, I realize that keeping the session lighter, it was not too light we did talk about some heavy stuff but I managed to stay in the area of dissociation were I was still there but numb I guess so I don't get so upset I leave was an ok place to be. I felt myself trying to leave but hung on somehow. I find I do this sometimes. I think that is progress...
rsk
Posted by raisinb on February 12, 2008, at 12:19:37
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch » ClearSkies, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 9:28:46
I love those sessions where Ts demonstrate just how committed they are. It is sooo important for the client to know that and to see it. I hope he recognizes that you need this, and he keeps reassuring you. It sounds like your work together will be tough enough without worrying about whether he really wants to be there (and obviously he does, which is good!)
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2008, at 12:22:37
In reply to Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 7:12:21
You haven't been seeing him that long, and it's not surprising that the honeymoon wears off and you start to see things that bother you. I think it was great that you were able to discuss it with him and try to work them out.
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 12:35:29
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch, posted by raisinb on February 12, 2008, at 12:19:37
You are right raisinb. He does I think because before I left, he checked in with me. And re-affirmed all that we talked about in a brief conclusion. He also said, if you need to email me, or call if you need me. I mean it when I say that I am here for you...:)
rsk
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 12:41:05
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch » rskontos, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2008, at 12:22:37
Dinah, it is true. And bringing up how I feel is tough to do. I am getting better at it but it is not something I do "well". I am conditioned to take my feelings and internalize them. He told me to try and tell him at the moment it happens when I feel uncomfortable. If I can. I will try that. It will be hard. I think for the first time, I saw the benefits of therapy and that I don't have to DO IT ALL and that I can let him do MOST of it. So maybe Daisym you have an answer to what being dependent looks to me. Someone else being in the drive seat at some of the time. Not all, be some.
And I watched all the IN Treaments today. And it helped me realize today that I DO need therapy. And for me to admit it, finally, to myself is a huge step. I mean really admit and to see even if it is a show that it has really meaning and value. Because in one of the session and I won't say what in order now to spoil it I had a wow moment. It was really powerful.
I feel a sense of something I can't describe today. Between watching the sessions and having a really good one, that I noticed the progress, it i s uplifting. A small uplifting but a noticeable one.
rsk
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 12:51:07
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 12:41:05
Posted by Phillipa on February 12, 2008, at 12:58:40
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 12:41:05
I'm so glad you feel good today about your session. Maybe the longer I see mine the same thing will happen. Love Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2008, at 13:00:56
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 12:41:05
I think a lot of the benefit of therapy comes from bringing things up nonconfrontationally in the here and now. It helps not only to practice new and healthier ways of relating to someone, but it also gives you and your therapist an opportunity to break down what things lead you to feel upset.
Congratulations for doing something so far outside your comfort zone!
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 14:45:01
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch » rskontos, posted by Phillipa on February 12, 2008, at 12:58:40
Thanks Phillipa, maybe you can try to do something out of the normal for you and see how it works. I know how hard it is, but I am beginning to think that sometimes the apple cart must be shaken a little to bring the sour apples to the top so they can be weeded out:) and kept out!
Just a thought for you to consider:)
rsk
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 14:48:34
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch » rskontos, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2008, at 13:00:56
Yes Dinah, so true. I, also think, that even just a few sessions ago, I might have thought this session was unproductive. I have tried to find new ways to view sessions. I found the benefit of lighter sessions and therefore, I saw the progess. I also, realized that I need therapy and I realize what it isn't. A quick fix. I am trying too, to not think of myself in terms of never being able to be better. All this is helping me to take control of being actively involved in the process. A necessary but such a hard step to wrap yourself, at least for me, around.
Posted by Daisym on February 12, 2008, at 19:19:50
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 14:48:34
I'm glad you had a good session. You were very brave to push yourself and ask questions until you had answers. That really is progress. And you deserve to be cared about so I'm glad you could feel his caring. Safety is something built moment by moment - not dissociating enough to feel the safety might help with the dissociating overall. It is a process...
My therapist has this whole speech about the spiral of therapy and how we struggle and struggle with something and then it feels like we break through -- and then we begin again. And so it goes. Sometimes I really hate it but I can see how necessary it is to come close to the fire and then move away again.
I like your definition of dependency - btw. It seems like a really good one for therapy.
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 19:32:23
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch » rskontos, posted by Daisym on February 12, 2008, at 19:19:50
Thanks Daisym, I am glad you posted. I have been worried about you. I am working on that definition. It may change. It is a work in progress :)
rsk
Posted by Phillipa on February 12, 2008, at 19:35:48
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch » Phillipa, posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 14:45:01
rsk any ideas? Love Phillipa
Posted by rskontos on February 12, 2008, at 20:36:17
In reply to Re: Feel like Therapist and I started from Scratch » rskontos, posted by Phillipa on February 12, 2008, at 19:35:48
Phillipa, any ideas about what?
rsk
This is the end of the thread.
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