![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jazzed on May 24, 2005, at 23:08:49
I've tried 2 medications for my ADD, and both times they've started well, and then quickly turned bad. The first medication, I got more focus and energy, but after about 2 weeks it made me fall into the depths of despair. I felt like my chest was being sat on or crushed with an emotional weight. The psychiatrist then added an SSRI, which made me so sleepy I just wanted to stay in bed all day, which, of course with a 2 year old you can't do, and when I wasn't in bed I couldn't even get my eyes to focus. So that didn't work.
Now I'm on Strattera, and at first everything was fine. No big reactions other than minor urinary hesitation and sweating in 60 degree weather - petty annoyances, but I actually had a pretty good amount of motivation, no more focus or concentration, but I'll take motivation. Then when I upped my dose, as scheduled, I started getting depressed again, and even though I exercise about 3 hours a day, I'm gaining weight. Yes, I eat the wrong things, that's why I exercise like crazy. I run about an hour a day, walk the 2 year old 3 1/2 - 5 miles, and then walk 3 1/2 miles + "run" 289 steps every night with my 8 year old. Sucks!
Anyway, these thoughts just kept popping into my head, thoughts like "well, if I'm going to do this, I have to do it right", and then I'd think, "where the heck did that come from?" And then another time I'd think, I could drop the kids off and drive in front of a truck, but I know this is NOT me, it's the way the medicine is effecting me. I really have never had these kinds of thoughts just pop into my head out of the blue, it's disarming and weird.
So, do I just quit all of this altogether, or give it a try with something else. I told my husband tonight that it's not good that mommy is thinking of jumping in front of a bus every two weeks. So it might sound odd that I'd even consider another medicine, but you have no idea how scattered I am, and how overwhelmed I get just trying to do the normal day to day things. I go in 50 different directions, feel bombarded by every sight, noise, and smell, and can't focus on anything.
I hope this doesn't affect anyone in a bad way, that is certainly not my intention. I just want to talk to other people who might understand. My husband doesn't have a clue what to make of me because I've never been this way before. I get moody and b*tchy, but not suicidal. He understands it's just the medicine, and not me talking. At first I couldn't even admit to him how bad I really felt, so we are making some progress.
Jazzed
Posted by daisym on May 24, 2005, at 23:57:51
In reply to Time to quit? ((((((Might trigger)))))), posted by Jazzed on May 24, 2005, at 23:08:49
I'm glad you told your husband how you've been feeling. These feelings are impulsive and it is important that you recognize that quality. You need to keep yourself safe.
I know what you mean about the shocking quality of having these thoughts. It still amazes me when i find myself sinking into them.
I think you should go back to your pdoc and try something else. There are so many possibilities out there now. Every day shouldn't be such a struggle.
Posted by Jazzed on May 25, 2005, at 10:56:28
In reply to Re: Time to quit? ((((((Might trigger)))))) » Jazzed, posted by daisym on May 24, 2005, at 23:57:51
> I'm glad you told your husband how you've been feeling. These feelings are impulsive and it is important that you recognize that quality. You need to keep yourself safe.
>
> I know what you mean about the shocking quality of having these thoughts. It still amazes me when i find myself sinking into them.
>
> I think you should go back to your pdoc and try something else. There are so many possibilities out there now. Every day shouldn't be such a struggle.Thanks Daisy,
Well, it is good that I told my husband, but even if I were on the verge of doing something, he wouldn't do anything to stop me, I'm sure of that. He just has so little understanding that he could never fathom how desparate it feels. He's a good guy, and I'm lucky, he's always happy. He really balances me, esp. with the kids.
Anyway, you're right, it's weird how one minute you can be thinking about what to cook for dinner, or how beautiful it is outside, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, you can have a thought pop into your head and kind of go with that for awhile. It's not like the first time, after the stimulant when I felt totally desparate thank goodness. It's more of a creeping up on me, you used the word impulsive, that's a good description.
I did cut back to 40 mg again, and I feel good today, so maybe I just need to stay there for awhile and see what happens. I'm reluctant to call the p-doc because last time I called him, I could tell he was frustrated with me. If it gets bad again I'll call, but not unless it gets bad. This drug kind of sucks. I do feel more motivated, which is great, but I sweat like it's 80 and humid when it's 60 degrees out, have headaches, stuffy nose, and like I said before gained weight. Blek!
Thanks Daisy, I appreciate your kind words.
Jazz
Posted by B2chica on May 25, 2005, at 11:25:28
In reply to Re: Time to quit? ((((((Might trigger)))))) » daisym, posted by Jazzed on May 25, 2005, at 10:56:28
it's important that your support system (whomever they may be) knows about your negative thoughts. One that that has helped me is my pdoc keeps telling me most of my S. thoughts or self harm thoughts are impulsive...take the impulsivity out of them. if you're driving and think about pulling out infront of a bus, think of the passengers or the driver of that vehicle. You can't do anything impulsive- you can't, i'm telling you you can't. Don't.
and don't be mad at yourself for thinking them. my first guess is it's medication so no matter what you pdoc said last time you march in there and say "HEY- every other day i want to drive into oncoming traffic. These thoughts and feelings are not acceptable...change my meds or do something!"
and remember, it's one thing to have these thoughts, its another to act on them. when you have them, ask what was i thinking right before the thought came. is it a trigger? ask yourself 'why do i want to pull into traffic? how would my family/friends feel? what would it be like? go through each support persons life and how it would change.please take care
and TALK TO YOUR PDOC!!!b2c.
> Well, it is good that I told my husband, but even if I were on the verge of doing something, he wouldn't do anything to stop me, I'm sure of that. He just has so little understanding that he could never fathom how desparate it feels. He's a good guy, and I'm lucky, he's always happy. He really balances me, esp. with the kids.
>
> Anyway, you're right, it's weird how one minute you can be thinking about what to cook for dinner, or how beautiful it is outside, and all of a sudden, out of the blue, you can have a thought pop into your head and kind of go with that for awhile. It's not like the first time, after the stimulant when I felt totally desparate thank goodness. It's more of a creeping up on me, you used the word impulsive, that's a good description.
>
> I did cut back to 40 mg again, and I feel good today, so maybe I just need to stay there for awhile and see what happens. I'm reluctant to call the p-doc because last time I called him, I could tell he was frustrated with me. If it gets bad again I'll call, but not unless it gets bad. This drug kind of sucks. I do feel more motivated, which is great, but I sweat like it's 80 and humid when it's 60 degrees out, have headaches, stuffy nose, and like I said before gained weight. Blek!
>
> Thanks Daisy, I appreciate your kind words.
> Jazz
>
>
Posted by Jazzed on May 25, 2005, at 13:26:58
In reply to Re: Time to quit? ((((((Might trigger)))))) » Jazzed, posted by B2chica on May 25, 2005, at 11:25:28
> it's important that your support system (whomever they may be) knows about your negative thoughts. One that that has helped me is my pdoc keeps telling me most of my S. thoughts or self harm thoughts are impulsive...take the impulsivity out of them. if you're driving and think about pulling out infront of a bus, think of the passengers or the driver of that vehicle. You can't do anything impulsive- you can't, i'm telling you you can't. Don't.
> and don't be mad at yourself for thinking them. my first guess is it's medication so no matter what you pdoc said last time you march in there and say "HEY- every other day i want to drive into oncoming traffic. These thoughts and feelings are not acceptable...change my meds or do something!"
> and remember, it's one thing to have these thoughts, its another to act on them. when you have them, ask what was i thinking right before the thought came. is it a trigger? ask yourself 'why do i want to pull into traffic? how would my family/friends feel? what would it be like? go through each support persons life and how it would change.
>
> please take care
> and TALK TO YOUR PDOC!!!
>
> b2c.
>
Thanks B2C,That's funny you mention that because I was telling my husband how unfair it would be of me to pull in front of a truck. I could cause the driver to die, or at least forever change his/her life for the worse. Also, I usually have my 2 yo w/me, and of course I wouldn't put him in that situation, and wouldn't do that to my other kids. One funny thing that came up is that I told my husband I didn't want my mother in law going through my stuff, that's enough to stop me!
I'm sure it's the meds because today, after backing down to 40, I feel really good. I think it was just too big of a jump for me. I am basically a happy person 95% of the time, so for me to think this way is just really out of the ordinary.
I love the way you say, "hey! every other day i want to drive into oncoming traffic. These thoughts and feelings are not acceptable!" I guess I need to get some attitude with him. After all, I am paying him big bucks for his 10 minutes of precious time every month.
Thanks again, you and Daisy made me feel much better.
Jazz
Posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 20:03:34
In reply to Re: Time to quit? ((((((Might trigger)))))), posted by Jazzed on May 25, 2005, at 13:26:58
Wow. You can talk to your husband about it?
The merest hint and mine says that he can't leave my son alone with me, he'll have to stay home from work, etc. etc. until I take it all back.
I think you're lucky you have a husband like that.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.