Posted by Susan47 on September 30, 2007, at 21:45:47
In reply to Oh god, posted by susan47 on May 30, 2007, at 23:17:48
Your voice doesn't sound the same to me anymore, and that is probably a really good thing, although it doesn't feel very good. Now your voice sounds peremptory and cold, businesslike, almost.. obscene. As in, the way you were, the way you are, the way you aren't and who is the real you? Have you stood and been counted, have you made a Difference, a difference in the world, a difference that is Good.
I want to do that, so much. It's in my heart.
I want to feel happy. I want to be that. Have the completion in my soul, a soul level complete-ness, something I can count on in my old age, in the elder years which are just there, just There... I can touch them. I can feel their grip, and I won't go joyfully unless I feel that I have a companion, someone to talk to, someone to be with and just Sit. Sit and listen, sit and see ... contemplate, and rejoice at what's been and what is and what will be ...
My heart goes with you .. you know it'll always be there, even though the relationship was a Bad Thing, it was a bad thing I did and I allowed to happen .. but I want it to be good, in the end, for everyone .. it has to be part of moving into a greater state of being, or it meant nothing. And that just isn't so.
poster:Susan47
thread:760476
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20070425/msgs/786161.html