Posted by Maynerd on December 4, 2005, at 0:19:27
Echoes of agony ripping through my heart
Leaving me wondering where I should even start
Thinking back to the man who gave his genes to me
Bipolar who jumped of a ferry to die in the sea
Mom battling her own demons had no time for her son
So at age 15 I was alone on the run
Fatal flaw inside trapping me in my own little hell
Hatred for the world putting me in prison cell
19 years old and my depression full blown
Convinced it is my destiny to suffer all alone
Not much later I have the first manic episode of my life
Weeks of sweet insanity on the edge of a knife
Come out of it in California without a dime to my name
Causing me to fill my body full of drugs to hide my shame
So many years a prisoner on this roller coaster ride
Wanting to escape but can’t find any place to hide
Only rule of this life was to stay perpetually high
Waiting impatiently for the day I would finally die
Many things have changed but much has not
I still get scared and hopeful when I hear a gun shot
Meds have brought some balance to my tattered soul
But they haven’t completely stopped the call of that 6 foot hole
So much I have learned about life while in this school
But to be honest I still feel like a worthless fool
poster:Maynerd
thread:585276
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051022/msgs/585276.html