Posted by Damos on August 22, 2005, at 18:04:25
In reply to Re: I actually saw HIM, for the first time » Damos, posted by alexandra_k on August 22, 2005, at 7:12:25
Yep, I know exactly what you mean. And what's worse is that the having been okay bit crashes up against the old sh*t in a big way and they kinda fight for space and it all gets really messed up in your head.
Ah yes, the boulders, I remember them from a series of post ages ago. Not pleasant, not pleasant at all. But I think being able to talk about it helps, helps work through some of the old sh*t or at least to hold it up to the light and be able to go 'yep, old sh*t'.
Kinda cruel how a little bit of relatively okayness can trigger off a whole bunch of not okayness. But maybe that's part of the magic of growning. That if you can just be objective about it for a moment you can go 'hey, hang on, I wasn't pretending for anybody and I was okay, things were okay. I didn't have to change or do or be anything but me and I was okay.' The hanging onto that feeling is the hard part - bugger.
RL is scary to me too - way scary :-)
poster:Damos
thread:543949
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050807/msgs/545284.html