Posted by alexandra_k on March 2, 2005, at 21:29:21
jump up and down and kick and scream and yell and wack people in the shins and MAKE THEM LISTEN TO ME and MAKE THEM HURRY UP and MAKE THEM DO SOMETHING.
but i cant.
there isnt anything i can do.
nothing that makes any sort of difference.
people just dont care
they just dont care enough to do anything.
i fight and push and do it all by the book realising that if i step out of line then nobody will want to help me at all.
but none of that makes any sort of difference either and there is nothing to do. there isnt any more i can do and there isnt anything else to be done.why cant i just die? i am sick of this sh*t. if i thought i could kill myself i would. but i dont seem to be able to even manage that. just end up feeling worse (you wouldnt believe it was possible) but just end up feeling worse after the inevitable lectures on lying attention seeking manipulation. i am just so tired. i dont want to do this anymore. any of it. all i ever wanted was a little f*cking help and i dont know why but in my case that is just too much to ask. f*ck this. i just want to tell them exactly where they can shove it. but if i do that then it is inevitable that i get nothing. but even if i dont it is inevitable that i get nothing. it really doesnt matter what i do. nobody gives a sh*t. f*ck this. i dont understand why they wont even give me a little f*cking help.
i am sorry
i will be ok
i am just so tired.
maybe i should just get my course related costs money and just f*ck off for a while. go awol. go somewhere anywhere else. i really cant tolerate much more of this.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:465730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/465730.html