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Re: Is it rude...

Posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2016, at 20:56:13

In reply to Re: Is it rude..., posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2016, at 20:06:41

And it un-stuck me.

The rubbish out the window un-stuck me.

1) Find a place to live.

2) Get motorcycle.

These are the things I need to sort out...

It's not the same as having a class to go to. It's not the same as having stuff to learn. It's a different sort of focus / hub / fulcrum for my life. I don't like this... I don't like this, at all.

There is a house. A mini-house. It is a little tiny cottage. A one bedroom split level with a beautiful garden... And across the road is a tiny catholic school with safety gates... And really good playground / confidence course obstacles... The kind build from wood and old tires... The kind caring parents build on the weekend because they love their kids.

And it's pretty expensive. And it's going to get awfully cold. The heat will all fly up and out the roof. Not up to the upstairs bedroom... But up and out the upstairs roof. And the kitchen is at the back. And that will be awfully cold, too.

But it's free standing. I won't have someone's television blasting through the walls. I won't have people aiming and missing communal rubbish bins...

And there is a perfect half driveway for my motorcycle.

Perhaps...

I found my motorcycle, too. A good second hand one... Since everyone says don't buy your first one new because you will only want to sell it in a couple years to buy one that will last you more like 4 years... And my Mother is actually being okay about it all. I suppose... She's helped her grand-kids purchase cars at 2x the price... She might even be okay about my next bike (after I've got my full license). The one... The one I plan on taking small road trips on... I don't know that I can road trip on a 125... I should ask someone...

I just have to phone people up... And... Organise things. I find it hard to do the people interaction thing. I shouldn't... Apparently I do come across as quite likeable. People tend to like me. Anyway... The cottage is at my absolute price limit... Insofar as it is possible for me to assess such things... But it really does look to be perfect for me...

We will see...

I mean... Best I can figure most of the cost of electricity here is the fixed charge to get it from wherever it comes from to your door. Just being live. My actual usage... Changes with the seasons rather than with my actual usage, I think. I mean... Spring came... My room wasn't any warmer since it doesn't get the sun... My actual kilowatt usage didn't change any... But the pricing structure did and my bill came down. So... How much worse would the bill be if I actually turned more heating on?? It might not be as bad as I think...

I'm not sure why people live in the cold, here. I think it partly is habit. My mother has this odd paranoia thing about turning off the electric kettle etc etc... And I can't quite see why... She thinks it is about the money but I think it is another one of those things... Where it isn't really about the money, at all.

Maybe it is about... Seeing this. And just... Reaching for it. Saying 'I want it'. I 'need it'. Please can I have it? I mean... Like a kid would do. In really trying to persuade their parents... Maybe that is it.

Instead of my starting to think 'what - do I think I'm better than everyone else that I need to live in a place that costs nearly 2x the price? what's wrong with living with adjacent others (blaring their tv's and throwing their rubbish about?).

Cost doesn't track it... But cost is the best traction on it we've got... The places that charge $125 are fairly miserable... People drinking and yelling and throwing their trash about. The places that charge $250 are less miserable... People don't yell or throw their trash about as much. But then 2x people can live in a place that costs $250 and split the rent... And then it's back to the drinking and yelling and throwing trash about, again... And so on... And that's what's happening here. It doesn't have to be... There is a couple here and the guy is terrific... It really is about how well people manage themself.. How considerate they are of others... And I'm not sure why cost tracks greater consideration... Sometimes I think it really doesn't... But then if you go through the streets with the pretty shady trees on the front lawn and the high pickets all fenced off.... Things are just quiet and pretty and nobody is messing with anybody else.

Or... They've found different ways of messing with them. Not quite sure.

I don't know what to say. Except feeling bad about this... Taking things that make my heart sink because I don't think I can afford anything else... Hasn't worked out so well for me, over the years. Need to make a case to work and income. It's all... Discretionary. I think... If I write them a big report... Then I get stuff. Kind of like writing a research proposal. They said they wouldn't help me with the cost of a motorbike lisence - but they would a car lisence. So I made the case that it was more pro-social and had a lower carbon footprint to drive a motorcycle and... It looks like they will help me with the cost of a motorcycle lisence after all.

I suppose it is about how much you want it. How hard you are prepared to work for it. Govt reports. Ick. Haha.

Anyway... I phoned about a couple places. Which is better than having put off phoning about a couple places which is what I"ve been doing over the last couple days...

I just want... A home. Then to forget about this moving thing... I find it very unsettling..


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