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Re: Is it rude...

Posted by alexandra_k on November 10, 2016, at 16:46:12

In reply to Re: Is it rude..., posted by baseball55 on November 7, 2016, at 18:25:49

> > Is it rude to not answer the door if you hear someone knock?

> If someone knocks and knows you are there and you don't answer then that is rude. It is a clear message to the other person that you don't want to see them or talk to them. Most people would see this as hostile (and it is) and would respond accordingly.


That is what I thought. But I don't understand this social norm.

If people were knocking on the door as an invitation to be friendly then I would be free to accept or reject that invitation by choosing to answer the door or not without social sanction.

If I'm not free to ignore it without hostile consequences then I can only interpret it as an act of hostility. Either I answer it on demand or there will be negative consequences for me. They don't care whether I am busy or not, whether I want to interact with them or not, they only care that I do what they want when they want it.

It's like that strategy of how if you want to have an all night party and you are worried the neighbours will complain then you invite them to your party. And now that they have been invited the social rule is supposed to be that they aren't allowed to complain, at all, since they were invited.

I find these to be instances of bullying.





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