Posted by ClearSkies on August 25, 2014, at 19:45:35
In reply to Re: back to school tomorrow » ClearSkies, posted by 10derheart on August 25, 2014, at 17:54:45
> Aww...thanks. You are too nice.
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> College is not for everyone. I forget, though I think you posted about it before,....did you want to go badly but couldn't due to MH stuff? Or am I mixing you up with someone else?
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> I think college has always been for me, but about 12 years back I had what I now know was a minor panic attack working on my first assignment when I tried to take just one class...and the thing wasn't even due for weeks! I recall deciding I could never do it before I'd started! Sheesh. At least I did get a ADD dx after that, but the anxiety part was never addressed properly.
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> I do love it...the books, the information, the interaction, the atmosphere, etc. It's just that when having to buckle down and read and write on someone else's schedule, sometimes I just wind myself up and go off spinning like some blubbery, middle-aged blob of insecurity. Then later I think things like, "It's just a paper/quiz/worksheet..whatever, not life and death, 10der, in a few months it will be meaningless...get your priorities straight!" Maybe that concept will sink in this semester.
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> I do know where the resources are, yet, the doing is always the wall I cannot climb alone. I live it all out in my head, imagining conversations, practicing phone calls, etc., then chickening out. I'm so very sick of that part of myself.
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> Thanks so much for replying. I mean to reply to you and never get focused enough...grrrrr.
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>I missed out on the college/university experience when I was young because of my parents' divorce - poor timing. After that, it was a money concern, then self esteem. By now I consider myself to have attended the School Of Life, and am OK with that. I am fairly well read, I write coherently most of the time, can do enough math to have run a small business for a few years.
Now I am focused on the life experience. Lots of courses and programmes having to do with metaphysical subjects, which have been unfamiliar to me. Not having the support at home for these endeavours, I've been pretty quiet about them. I started to spend more time doing my own thing and it really helped my sense of self.Wow, that was a TMI if ever I saw one. Sorry!
poster:ClearSkies
thread:1070265
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140718/msgs/1070294.html