Posted by floatingbridge on June 17, 2011, at 18:46:51
In reply to Re: no apologies necessary sweetie, posted by sleepygirl2 on June 17, 2011, at 18:15:52
Last night, my dreams were filled with insect type creatures. Maybe you know this, like oh look a black ant, oh look another one to giant beetle black crabs from where? space? Overrunning the bed covers. Everywhere and looking more malevolent than any neutral creature.
Hey, so maybe you did some selfish things. I don't know what ages you are talking about. But you are not a selfish f*ck*r if I am quoting you correctly.
Everyone does selfish things. There's a gosh darn big fat book called 'the selfish gene'.
My therapists over the years have invited me to listen to the voice behind my own. When I rant that I am stupid, selfish, no good, guilty, their is another voice in the mix. The voice that called me those names first. Being both sensitive and competitive, my move was preemptive. I'll call myself names first.
You hang in there lambchop, vermin and all. You're out. You're safe. You're just looking at the wreck (my 2¢).
fb
"hospital"
> My own damn fault, a new experience for me that I could have done without.
> You guys always help :-). Thank you
> The angry guy....Well, I certainly did have to step carefully around my own anger. I was a non-person for a while. However, not existing (temporarily) does have it's advantages.
> As far as I could tell, I was supposed to be a socially deviant moron, without rights and not to be trusted about a damn thing. I served my sentence.
> I just drew pictures, what else could I do?
> A couple of patients broke down the door, very silly.
> But that kid in the water? I was too vulnerable and had too much to handle, or at least I didn't care to handle it. My crime, being a selfish f*ck*r.
> School? Well that was prison too, with a different set of torments. My dreams have me stuck there too.
> Why I was going around in that dream though checking on the dead and injured I'll never know. Guilt?
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> Last night I woke up talking in my sleep, something close to whimpering. I had a dream that vermin were getting into the house I was in. Something gave way, and they swarmed in. Flies, ridiculous amounts of flies, like in that amityville horror movie scene, were getting into the room.
> I was desperately trying to kill them with insecticide. Maybe it was the thunderstorm we had in the wee hours of the morn.
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> However, right now I am just tired.
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* and whoever gazes at the stars will never again be quite alone...
c-ptsd & attendant health concerns
poster:floatingbridge
thread:987833
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110617/msgs/988577.html