Posted by inanimate peanut on January 21, 2010, at 22:15:54
In reply to Re: Peanut in blackness, posted by Willful on January 21, 2010, at 16:31:48
I think you're right about the exhaustion and the post-excitement let down. I know I wasn't hypomanic before going, though-- I was just clinging so hard to any thread of hope I could get close to in order to try to fight the depression and now I don't have those strands to cling to anymore. Don't get me wrong-- they gave me a list, but I don't like the list and for some reason don't feel like it offers me any hope and certainly not anything to obsess about.
I've got a call in to my doc but she's not back in the office until tomorrow. I hope she'll call me back and I'm on the cancellation list for an earlier appt. (although I don't expect to get one-- the cancellation list is a mile long). Maybe I'll feel better if she'll start me on something, though, without seeing me.
Yeah, I've been very mean to my body over the past few weeks with having the parnate so high, dropping it so fast, and now having the stress of all of the flying craziness. Plus I wasn't able to eat during travel and didn't want to eat yesterday so I tried eating today so maybe that will help.
As for my future, I just look where I was even 3 years ago compared to now and just can't imagine where I'll be in 3 years or heaven forbid in 30. I'll tell you one thing, though. I've learned valuable lessons that I didn't know when I was younger. If I find a combo that works, I'm NOT touching it. I don't care about the reason, I will leave it alone.
I wish I could do DBT. My insurance won't cover group therapy. I tried to find a therapist to do it one-on-one but that didn't work well. I've read alot about it and try to exercise the principles, but I think it's something that you need a group to really model and learn to do. Now I can't even afford individual therapy since my insurance put my copay up to $40. I really only have support groups now, but those do help so I'm thankful for them.
Anyway, today was a little better than yesterday which was a little better than the day before, so hopefully I will keep getting a little better. Thanks so much for your support.
poster:inanimate peanut
thread:934472
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100119/msgs/934627.html