Posted by Pabo on January 9, 2010, at 22:07:59
In reply to feeling friendless, posted by inanimate peanut on December 6, 2009, at 16:24:01
> I feel like a loser right now. I used to move every year for school and make friends wherever I went. Now, I've been in the same city for 3 years and have no friends here at all. I had a boyfriend for a while and didn't really bother with meeting anyone else. He left because he couldn't handle the bipolar and now I have no one. I just can't seem to make friends when I'm depressed and have become more and more reclusive since I've been ill. I don't go to bars or church so I don't have much chance of meeting people. I have family I'm close to that live 100 miles away and a good friend that I stay in touch with 50 miles away, but no social support here. Has that happened to anyone else? Has your illness made you more isolated? I don't like most people anymore either, or feel like I have much in common with them. I just don't want to turn into a complete recluse!
Hi to you, inanimate peanut,
I read your above post and saw you've had five different people respond.
Moving can be difficult, but it also presents an opportunity to have many new experiences.
You've volunteered your a student, lots of people with common interests can be met there. Your fellow students have to have, at minimal, school subjects in common. By now you've probably returned to school after the holidays. People offered many suggestions; Volunteering was suggested, another good way to meet people with interests in common. Internet contacts was also mentioned, but be careful, as some people can easily obfuscate their motives.
You have said you made friends wherever you went, but you added you temporarily aren't feeling well and this has interfered with meeting others. Having bi-polar traits have two sides, when you're in the 'manic' or high energy phase, you have that 'high energy' advantage. While you're up, I hope you sense this energy and use it to your advantage. I would think it be be like having a CNS stimulant, without the accompanying confused thoughts.
Everyone feels lonely at times, and this is NORMAL. Reach out as you can, and don't envelope yourself with the transient down side of being bi-polar. Niether allow using only this stage to define you, you're many faceted, like a gem, and that's what gives a diamond it's brilliance.
You say you had a boyfriend, read 'friend' and you have family. Lot's of people lack any support.
I hope you can realize that all is not comparable. I don't know anyone who's happy all the time. Realize almost everything is temporary and by definition your ailment is dynamic. Try to be positive, and share your up-side as much as possible, especially when meeting new people. I know you've heard the adage 'laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone'. This statement was made from many, well founded, observations. Be good to yourself, try to be good with others and remember most things change.
Try to get in touch with your self-esteem, and don't let other's opinions bother you. We are all our own best friends, and there can be solace in solitude. I offer you my thoughts, being someone who's been experiencing your ailment for 4 decades. I wish to not be vulgar, but I was advised to say "freak it", 'substitute what works for you' when feeling overwhelmed. Your journey may have steep climbs, but you can reach the summit.Closing, hoping you feel better and advising you to not be your harshest judge, while wishing you success.
Pabo
poster:Pabo
thread:928344
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20091125/msgs/933089.html