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Long reply to short question (you know me!) Sigismund

Posted by Kath on May 15, 2009, at 9:20:03

In reply to Re: Son's former GF who left him is back in town :-( Kath, posted by Sigismund on May 14, 2009, at 17:25:38

> >"Mom I don't even know how I'm feeling!"
>
> Could he could be feeling that he wants (might want) to get back with her, or some variation on that?

~ ~ Well, I sure as h*** hope not! But that's what my husband is nervous about. Me too a bit, & he might on some level, but I really hope he cares more about himself than to actually consider it, even if it came up. A good thing is that her parents won't allow him in their home (even though he's friends with the brother & sister of exGF). She didn't really do drugs before being with my son :-( His severity of drug use got worse during the years they were together. Ironically (to me) the brother had a huge cocaine problem & was in rehab at his parents' insistence.

I don't actually think so, but I imagine he's feeling he wants back what he's lost! And that doesn't exist anymore. I think he blames himself for insisting that they had to leave our town (during a psychotic episode)& the subsequent wrecking of their lives. Even though they planned to go out there, stopped drugs, planned a different life for themselves, were going to get married, etc - they eventually started doing drugs again & crystal meth is a BIG problem out there. He developed schizophrenia (which I'm still not totally convinced would be a problem if he did NOT do any drugs or drink). They were involved with drug people; when he was in hosp GF became involved with their friend, who she went back to & basically was addicted to crys.meth. I've seen pictures of before & afters with meth use! Yikes. Even when they came back here, 2 1/2 years ago, I actually glanced at her arms, because I wondered by her looks if she was using heroin.

I think he blames himself for all of it. I imagine he feels guilt, shame, grief, anger, longing.

I haven't got a 'feel' for where he's at right now, because he stayed in Toronto until last night & went straight to bed, as he has his training session this morning at the YMCA (job-prep thing called Heads Up - it's described on the interntet - seems quite good). He couldn't sleep last night, so is feeling awful this morning, so no communication happening. I am also feeling yucky due to allergies (tree pollen I guess).

Anyway, thanks for caring. Even though I have IRL support, my PB friends' support means the world to me!

love, Kath

 

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poster:Kath thread:895653
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090513/msgs/895922.html