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Re: Son's former GF who left him is back in town :-( Kath

Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on May 19, 2009, at 16:39:27

In reply to Son's former GF who left him is back in town :-(, posted by Kath on May 13, 2009, at 20:57:52

Oh man, Kath, sounds like it feels a lot like the shadow of doom. Yes--like the death of someone. You wake up and realize it's still there--for a moment everything's okay and then you wake up and you have this dread.

This woman really did a ringer on your son. I cannot believe that in his fragile state, and on his birthday, someone could so callously send a text message just ditching your son. It's a good thing they are not together anymore, but how awful that he has to be reminded of it over and over again?

> Don't know if people will remember. She came back to Ontario 2 1/2 years ago with him from BC when he'd been in hospital for psychosis. Was all lovey-dovey with him. They'd been together for 3 yrs & were talking about getting married (mind you they were both really messed up & using drugs). Within weeks she went back to BC 'for a week to get their things' - but really to be with guy she'd hooked up with when my son was in hospital for a month.
>
> He was DEVASTATED. She kept promising she'd be back for his birthday, but ON his B-day she TEXT-MESSAGED him saying she loved A---- & didn't want my son to contact her again.
>
> He's good friends with her sister & knew that last week the family was going to BC to see ex-GF as she was in hospital.
>
> So today he learned that she'd come back with them, along with her baby (6 months old or so). Son is REALLY upset. We live in a pretty small town. Most of his friends are friends with ExGF's sister also & were friends with GF but through my son.
>
> He says he doesn't even KNOW what he's feeling, but he's very upset. Partly he's afraid that she'll accompany her sister to the get-togethers that they have; be at the same clubs in Toronto, etc.
>
> That's him.
>
> And I am very upset also. VERY. I have felt like this before, when someone close has died. The time right after, when there are all the funeral things happening, & time seems to move very differently & it feels like being in a vacuum somehow. I feel AWFUL. She lived with son in our home for a year. She was part of our family. When they first came back & he was so sick & they were living here she would have daily phone calls with A---- back in BC & be giggling, etc. It as pretty apparent to DH & I that it was more than just a frienship, but we kept hoping we were wrong. At the same time she'd say to A-- "No, I'll tell them soon." At the same time she was being really loving with my son & even mentioning being together forever etc.
>
> I'm feeling angry, used, upset, scared, betrayed. I can't even IMAGINE how my son is feeling!
>
> Son said that she was in hosp related to drug use.
>
> Maybe her family wanted her to come back so they could help her & care for baby. I don't know.
>
> I wish this weren't real. My son has been improving his life bit by bit. I'm angry that this has happened. I'm afraid that his friends (a lot of whom are rather self-centered) won't think about how he might feel. His friends & his family & his music are the most important things in his life.
>
> I am feeling very awful. I wish this wasn't real. These feelings feel very much like when family members have died. Then add on the betrayal stuff, & me being so sad that my son now has to deal with this.
>
> :-(( Kath


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poster:Amelia_in_StPaul thread:895653
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090513/msgs/896651.html