Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on May 14, 2009, at 5:05:39
In reply to Re: VERY BAD boy....my few days in Montreal....ughhh.., posted by garnet71 on May 13, 2009, at 19:44:41
> lol. i did laugh when I read your post. (sorry!)
>
> I see emergence of a mid life crisis. A mid life crisis, in my view, is not an event--but a conflict of self that emerges after much gained insight on life. Ok-I'm just making this up as I go along...lol
>
> Maybe you have conflicting emotions - should I submit to society's illusion of being desirable, satiation, and what's supposed to be fun (hanging out at clubs and picking up 20 something women); or - should I go with my wisdom, what i've learned over the years, and want deep, satisfying relationships? (w/good sex and cuddle attributes).
>
> Or- societal messages could be messing with you...If you think about it, there's nothing morally wrong with having a good time and having sex with a desirable woman on a whim (can you think of anything 'bad' about that if you use STD protection?)- but if your religion or societal pressures tell you otherwise, that may be a problem. You do seem to express some guilt, after all. Why?
>
> Either way you seem to be in conflict here. I'm leaning towards the wisdom theory. It's just not the same as when you were younger. I, too, have realized that it sux to have flings...lol. It's nowhere as satisfying as having deep, intimate relationships. The ego boost is nice, but really, it leaves you feeling disconnected...and wanting "more".
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> "More" is the conflict; your conflicted as to whether you should just enjoy the temporary satiation of the ego boost, or if you should go with your wisdom - that the best, most passionate, most fullfilling, sexaully desirable encounters are through more than superficial sexual encounters.
>
> Okay, well I learned this a long time ago. If it helps at all-I can tell you I wetn to NYC on New Year's Eve and did something similar - I went on a last minute impulsive decision, had no where to stay for the night, but ended up with the cutest, funniest, hottest, nicest, guy i could have ever imagined. He was probably about your age; me-my early twenties. In the morning. lol. Woke up and was confused as to where I was at - then looked out the window and saw the Empire state bldg. lol. That was a long time ago. Just added to my wisdom, really.
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> But I seriously doubt the woman was only hanging out with you because you were buying her drinks. I've had men buy me drinks, then ignored them the whole night. They have even chased me over to the jukebox, handing me $20s to play my songs...lol. She must have really liked you. :)
>
> Okay I wasn't done but my son wants to use the computer right now. :) No worries...Well, first, thanks SOOO kindly for the very nice reply :) I think you've got something there with "mid-life crisis". The moral thing..it's not that I am religious or anything like that, it's more of a sadness. It's similar to that feeling you had as a kid coming back from summer vacation where you had your "first love" and now they are gone, forever. Mind you, I have some personal issues with loss and such...I think I've explained them elsewhere.
I think it boils down to this: basically, I've got to get a girlfriend. No, not just take the first thing that comes along, but seriously need a stable, long-term relationship. So, I took one step...I joined eharmony.com..now don't laugh..lol.
Well, thanks kindly for your response...that was really great, and helpful as I "untangle" all of this as the days go by.
Take care,
Jay :)
poster:Jay_Bravest_Face
thread:894961
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090513/msgs/895727.html