Posted by yellowbird01 on February 13, 2009, at 17:14:54
In reply to Re: Miserable » yellowbird01, posted by Kath on February 13, 2009, at 13:50:50
Unfortunately I dont really have friends aside from John.
I left work today and cried so hard driving I almost had to pull over. My coworkers and I staff cases every afternoon 4-5pm. It's always part work, part laughing/chatting/etc. A good end to the day usually. Today they were talking about getting flowers, Valentines Day plans etc. I asked them nicely but clearly to talk about something else.. they all know what happened with my ex... and they did temporarily. Then they got back onto the topic for the last 10 minutes in even more detail. Then one of the women went and got the roses her husband had sent her today to the office to show everyone. At about that point I walked out and sat at my desk and cried. No one noticed. How can they be SO insensitive? I'm happy for them and I'm not asking for everyone to pretend the holiday doesnt exist, but come on. I'm a mess.
I realized partly why I'm so upset that my ex is going to the partial day program. It's because... I've given things up, given him many chances, hurt a lot for most of our relationship in an effort to give him the time/space he needed to deal with his issues etc. I never really got much reward for it, especially not in the end. I never got much support. Now he gets hurt by the relationship ONCE and he gets all the support in the world. The program is great and they wont let him go until he's feeling a bit better. Meanwhile I'll be at home crying my eyes out with no contact with anyone except my T one hour per week. It's so unfair.
I dont even have the words to describe how any of this feels.
Thank you kath for continuing to respond to me. I feel invisible everywhere else.
poster:yellowbird01
thread:879150
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090209/msgs/879953.html