Posted by laima on January 24, 2007, at 9:08:56
In reply to hey laima -, posted by one woman cine on January 24, 2007, at 7:36:03
> ""Remember, she doesn't get two lives and you none"."
>
> That's an awesome quote - sage advice in a situation like that.That was a gem from a therapist I adored! I never forgot it, thought it over many times over the years, since. Some background- she postulated that my mom cared SO much in her own way, that she sort of wanted to mold me up into the way she would do things...if that makes sense. She decided what was best, per her, and would stop at nothing to ensure I turned out "best". She wasn't comfortable with daughter being separate and autonomous being. She took personally everything daughter did, experienced...as if it reflected on HER. She wanted to make the decisions, the selections, have control over image, clothing, everything. I was her project, in a way. That leads into why I hypothesise a modest move, like into a dorm, might not be beneficial for Deneb, as it was for me. Helps moms get used to idea of normal and age appropriate separation, too.
poster:laima
thread:725643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070122/msgs/725898.html