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Sad, torturing myself

Posted by TexasChic on November 16, 2006, at 20:54:49

I've been looking at cuteboy's myspace. I know, I know! But I had to go look up the backlog of the comments section, back when all the sh*t was going down with the bitchygirls (they posted alot then). I had to see if there was anything said in reference to me, because lately, for some reason, I've been going through all these senerios in my mind where it was all a big joke about me and cuteboy was involved. But there were no comments made about me, so now I can let it rest. Which means I have no reason to go back to that page! It seems he hooked up with his current girlfriend right around the time he seemed to begin getting standoffish around me. I've got to let it go. I've got to!

Its stupid. I know I've completely idealized the whole thing. I know I've obsessed about it, which was why my exguyfriend's words hurt so much. Plus, he could have told me about the girlfriend months and months ago! It would have saved me so much anguish! Maybe a guy just doesn't get that.

But all that doesn't matter, I've got to put that whole period of my life out of my mind and focus on now. I've got to change my life. I can't stand the way it is anymore. I can't stand not living, only going through the motions. The only relationships I have are in my head. I've just got to change things. Why is it so hard!

-T

 

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poster:TexasChic thread:704410
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061106/msgs/704410.html