Posted by llrrrpp on August 24, 2006, at 22:57:47
News Flash!
I'm depressed. yep. I'm feeling better, certainly, but I'm not out of the woods yet.Here are some signs of malaise:
Thoughts of bad things, including suicide locations. Idle thoughts, nothing concrete, but certainly not what I want playing in my mental cinema with surround sound and HD plasma TV
Appetite disturbances, including occasional loss thereof, even chocolate. Overall less appetite.
Guilt. Been thinking about people I've screwed over. Been thinking about how I could have done things better. Haven't worked at all this week. And it's THURSDAY NIGHT for f*ck's sake. Granted I was severely sedated, but illogically I feel very bad about my lack of productivity. Especially when confronted with the very frequent question: So, when are you going to be done (with your PhD?). [smile, say- "whenever I want to be done...hopefully this year". Think: "go f*ck off, you moron who has no clue what my degree is in, how DARE you ask me about my progress. When are you going to win a job with the NY Philharmonic? When are you going to publish your book? When are you going to start your company... etc etc.)
Mysterious crying spells. Could be love. could be? god knows what. I'm getting a dumb little tear in my eye right now. You wanna know why? It's because I'm in babblechat. All alone. It's been Babblechat:1 for about 15 minutes now. hold ON! Declan's there.
I stand corrected. ((((Declan))))
Well. gotta figure out some better things to do with my feelings than mope about.
I suck. truly. sorry you all have to put up with me. I post stuff just to make ME feel better. not because I think I'm making the world a better place or anything. I'm a selfish wolf in babble-friendly sheep's clothing.
kick me? please? Don't be nice. seriously. just do it.
poster:llrrrpp
thread:679823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060819/msgs/679823.html