Posted by Kath on July 24, 2006, at 20:03:13
In reply to Re: Oh my God - Now my Test begins - news from B.C, posted by AuntieMel on July 24, 2006, at 15:02:46
> Remember - *you* didn't give his stuff away - he did when he left it.
>
> Repeat to yourself "it's not my fault, it's not my fault..."******OK - It's not my fault.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
He left his stuff!!!My enemy is this little (or big) voice that spouts: "Oh poor -----" and the feeling that goes with that. I should probably create a sentence that I will learn to automatically say when I'm feeling that way!!!!
----- is an adult. He has made unwise choices. He'll eventually learn from the results of his choices.
That sounds pretty good.*******
> Unless you tied him down and put the drugs in his system it's not your fault.
>
>
> Considering everything - and how hard it is for you <any parent> to *not* just baby him, you did an excellent job on this phone call.****** Really? THAnks - that feels good. I feel so uncertain & as I said, sort of in 'kid mode'. But that's OK. I feel quite a bit stronger after the counselling appointment. And I think I might be able to learn to do the phone calls somewhat differently. She suggested to 'mirror' what he says. To be sure not to give advice or ask questions about sensitive things...also to shift the conversation - like ask what the weather's like, or if I hear birds in the background or people or the ocean to talk about that - to try to lighten the conversation.
I'd like to be able to talk with him & NOT get all bent out of shape. Let's face it, things are probably going to get worse before they get better. I'd like to be able to be 'Mom' - here for him as emotional support & encouragement and NOT have the phone calls have such a terrible effect on me. I'm feeling more positive about that. I know it won't be easy, but I'm not feeling so AWFUL.
Also the counsellor pointed out that it's quite possible that his job is picking up garbage & they have protective gloves because there will probably be some needles in the garbage & they have to put them in a special container. I wouldn't be surprised if my son zeroed in on that. He's pretty dramatic. I mean JEEZ - how bad IS Vancouver? Are there so many IV drug users that they need numerous people every day to pick up the needles!!!???*******
>
> <ambien isn't supposed to be addictive, but if you're worried, ask your doc about trazadone. it works good, too>
******thanks. The Benedryl last nite worked OK, mind you, I was up so late, I was probably just exhausted & fell asleep because of that!! :-)Thanks for your support. It is helpful & I truly appreciate it.
:-)) Kath
poster:Kath
thread:669839
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060721/msgs/670141.html