Posted by Kath on July 23, 2006, at 22:46:03
In reply to Re: Oh my God - Now my Test begins - news from B.C » Kath, posted by sleepygirl on July 23, 2006, at 21:16:10
Thanks for the hug!!!! It feels like a nightmare.
And of course trying to go to sleep - my mind is just spinning out of control!!
I have visions of him getting poked through the gloves with a needle used by someone with AIDS or HIV positive.
I have visions of him trying to sleep on the grass in the park, propped on his pack, so nobody will steal his belongings.
I feel a wrenching emptiness & grief in my stomach since it seems he thought his friend was going to take care of his & GF's belongings.
I hear him saying - 'so I'm on the street here, picking up dirty needles, sleeping in a park, and all my clothes & belongings have been given away.'
THAT one is horrible for me. When his friends & I were going through the mess in his house, we were being astonished that they could just up & leave everything. His friend, who he'd apparently left 'in charge' of his things told me that my son had said, "Take what you want & then give the keys to the landlord." So, given THAT information - what was I to do? I feel rotten. I feel horrible. I feel guilty for NOT having answered my son's phonecalls, since at least then I'd have known they didn't want to abandon their stuff.....then the detached sensible part says, "Hey - wait a minute here. In his postcard he sent me he said they in no way intended that I should have to deal with their belongings"
Oh man. I wonder if I'll be able to get to sleep. 2 Valerians & 2 herbal 'Calme Forte's later & my mind is still bounding around.
You know - it sounds horrible & I love both my children, but if I had KNOWN the incredible pain that can result I would never have had children. Never. I hate pain. I can't handle thinking about his situation. Yet I can't NOT think about it.
Sorry to go on & on. I actually got up out of bed to check & see if anyone had answered my post. Thanks SO much for answering it! and for your kindness....and you're right. He's the one who has to save himself. And BOY is it hard to know this is his reality right now.
Kath
> God Kath...it sounds awful. I'm so sorry.
> I wish I could make it better.
>
> I'll take a guess though and assume it's him who has to do the saving (of himself).
> so hard to watch...so hard
> ((((Kath))))
poster:Kath
thread:669839
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060721/msgs/669872.html