Posted by llrrrpp on July 4, 2006, at 20:51:15
In reply to Re: I'm starting to feel ?, posted by Deneb on July 4, 2006, at 19:44:52
> I'm sorry. :-(
It's okay Deneb, you didn't offend me. I see no need to apologize. You didn't say anything uncivil.
> I don't really get why this happens to me, people telling me they are fed up with me. :-(
>
> It's because I don't respond to many posts, isn't it?you respond to a lot of posts. I think it's fine to respond to posts that grab you, posts where you think you can make a difference, posts where you can share, posts where a buddy is in trouble, and posts where you just wanna have fun.
> I don't know what I'm doing that's different from what other people are doing. I really don't. Are people going to be fed up with me until I get a therapist? People keep telling me to get a therapist. What if I don't want to get a T right now? People will be angry?
Well, I care about you, and I want the best for you. I personally have found my work with a T to be very helpful. Even when it was painful, it was helpful. You might not be ready to get a T right now, but is there a reason for it? In so many of your posts you bring up topics that I simply don't feel qualified to respond to- things about the purpose of life, and the nature of strong feelings, and you seem to be asking for help. I would like to help you as much as I can, but I only have this little window and I'm limited by the power of my writing. I think that a professional can help you a lot. Help you figure out what you want from life, figure out what's stopping you from getting what you want and what you need. Help you sort out what is reasonable to expect from others, and what is not reasonable. Also, T can help you figure out how to negotiate complicated social situations.
I should have seen a T many years ago. I didn't get help for too long, because I was terrified of appearing weak. I was so arrogant as to derive pride from my never having seen a "shrink". So, instead of nipping things in the bud, I allowed some patterns of illogical and unreasonable thoughts to take hold in my mind. And they have mislead me and lied to me and gotten me into a lot of trouble. Sometimes I misled myself into thinking that there was no point to existing. And that's very scary.
> So people tell me do X and Y and I have to do X and Y or else they will get frustrated?
I only want what's best for you, because I care about you.
> What if I'm not ready to do X and Y?
Why aren't you ready to do X and Y?
> I respond to people who post to me. I've been trying to do that. It isn't enough? :-(It's enough for me, sweetie. I hope you feel a little better. I think you're a very special person. Unique, honest, open. Maybe you don't have everything figured out yet. (who does?) I really think you add a lot to Psycho-babble. When you write about your feelings, I am jealous, to tell you the truth. I don't even KNOW what I'm feeling half the time. I feel negative, but I don't know whether it's sadness, regret, anger, grief...? I don't know what it's in response to, and many times I have no idea whether it's appropriate to express negative emotions, or to try to "deal".
Also, I'm only a few years older than you, and so I hear that voice of indecision about what the next big move in your life is going to be. I never even bothered asking. I just fell into a rut, and here I am, having trodden a path, wondering ? WTF am I doing here? I've trained to do what? I don't want to get a job doing X, but I don't know what else is out there. I'm only good at one thing, and that's learning. I'm trying to learn to be a teacher too, but that's complicated. Good for you for asking. Are you getting close to finding an answer?
What I'm trying to say, is that it takes ALL kinds of people. You allow me an opportunity to learn about myself, and for that I am grateful.
> Deneb*
If you're in crisis tonight, please tell your family, or call your doctor, or the emergency room. You are too special Deneb, and I don't want you to get hurt :o(
your friend,
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:664027
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060628/msgs/664076.html