Posted by JenStar on January 20, 2006, at 17:11:01
hi all,
I have a question for everyone. There are times when my friends get upset with someone and complain bitterly about that person. These can be trivial things, like being ticked off at a boss/co-worker. Or they could be more serious, as in someone who is extremely upset at a spouse, therapist, doctor, etc.Sometimes I AGREE with them that the person in question has screwed up, and I say things like, "You're right, he/she is a jerk, he/she is acting dumb, he/she is totally being an insensitive *explective deleted*." I commiserate and we both talk about how awful that person is acting.
But a few days later, my friend may have made up with the person in question, or forgiven them entirely, or decided to move on despite the pain. They are now singing the praises of the formerly bashed person.
Then I feel weird...will my friend think I'm fickle for agreeing that the person was a jerk, but now accepting that the person is no longer a jerk? Will my friend remember that I myself said bad things about that person, and hold a grudge? SHOULD I move on just as my friend has?
Relationships are strange that way, no?
How do you handle this kind of thing? Do you judge your friends if they agreed that your T/boyfriend/hubby/etc. was being a jerk...and said bad things about him/her?
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:601181
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060115/msgs/601181.html