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I'm afraid of getting blocked *trigger*

Posted by Deneb on December 23, 2005, at 2:33:33

Whenever I see other people get blocked, it reminds me of when i was blocked and it makes me upset.

I'm thinking of an evil thought right now.

I want to say that if I ever get blocked again, I'll kill myself to get revenge.

I think I'm one of those people who will kill themselves in prison.

I think I would rather die than be locked up.

I hate that blocking is like prison for me.

I don't think people will like me very much if I kill myself because I don't like being blocked.

I don't think I ever learned to accept punishments. I never got punished when I was little.

I wonder if I really will kill myself over something so trivial. Anyways, I'm risking my life my participating here sometimes.

I think people might not like me saying these things.

I know nothing and no one can make me kill myself, but I still have those bad thoughts of revenge.

I know it doesn't make sense. My being dead doesn't hurt Dr. Bob. I'll be the ultimate loser.

But, what if, what if I get so upset that I really do it? I don't trust myself when it comes to intense emotions.

I better come back as a ghost.

Deneb


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poster:Deneb thread:591511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051215/msgs/591511.html